Here's my report card for September. This is a happy occasion: as expected, the Jays beat up on the American League's weaker sisters in September. It's too bad nobody outside the Greater Toronto Area noticed. Oh, well - it's the same as it ever was.

A full year report will follow sometime soon.

Hitting

Dave Berg
.292 .320 .375
Batted only 24 times in September. Walked only once. The least memorable of the Jays. He's the baseball equivalent of an evening spent eating meatloaf, reading a few pages from a mildly entertaining novel, and going to bed early: a bit dull, but you have no regrets the next day.
Grade: B (the meatloaf of grades)

Mike Bordick
.229 .316 .300
Awe-inspiring defense, but unimpressive offense. Drew a lot of walks this month: his total of nine free passes was third on the team in September, trailing only Delgado and Hinske. Sometimes, players at the tail end of their careers draw more walks, as they are letting pitches go by when they can't hit them; eventually, the league catches on, and it's Sayonara. I don't know whether this is happening to Bordick, but perhaps this is why he is strongly considering retirement. If he goes, he'll be missed; Halladay, in particular, enjoyed seeing Mr. Mike scoop all those ground balls up the middle.
Grade: B-, because of his defense

Kevin Cash
.125 .164 .203
Let's start with the good news: Cash didn't strike out all that much in September. He fanned 13 times in 64 at-bats, which isn't a great total, but indicates that he's not totally clueless out there. And, as advertised, his defense is otherworldly: he can pounce on a wild pitch or slow dribbler, immediately locate where he is on the diamond, and then zip a perfect throw wherever he needs to put it. Now, the bad news: his offensive numbers imply that he is bringing one of those stick-shaped child's flotation devices to the plate instead of a bat. If he doesn't do better than that at the plate, his future relationship with baseball in Toronto will consist of paying his way into the SkyDome and trying to get Guillermo Quiroz to sign his scorebook.
Grade: a provisional D-

Frank Catalanotto
.273 .347 .455
An uneventful month, as Cat lost playing time in September to nagging injuries, Reed Johnson's hot streak, and persistent incurable lefthandedness. Like Hudson, Cat compiled September numbers that were quite similar to his season stats. Not one of the stars of the team, but he did more good than harm.
Grade: B

Howie Clark
.400 .400 .400
Went 2-for-5 after being called up. Wears his uniform socks high. You could probably swap him with Dave Berg - nobody, except possibly their wives and children, would know the difference.
Grade: Insufficient Data

Carlos Delgado
.270 .368 .539
Before his four-homer game and season-ending grand slam, this was a subpar month for Delgado by his (lofty) standards: he only had two home runs the rest of the month, drew fewer walks than usual, and struck out 27 times. I've heard rumours that he's been playing hurt this month. A hobbled Delgado is still better than just about anybody else around, mind you: he drove in 19 runs in September, which is still a league-leading pace. Statistically, at least, he reminds me a bit of one of those old martial artists who sits in one corner of the dojo and spends his days dispensing wisdom to the young disciples; every now and again, he gets up, stretches, displays awesome ninja powers, and then, after proving he's still the top dog, sits back down again.
Grade: A

Eric Hinske
.276 .356 .471
There, that looks better. Was 7-for-7 in stolen bases this month, which was more steals than the rest of the team put together. Remember when the Jays had trouble finding hitters who would do well out of the #2 slot in the batting order? Now, the Jays have lots of them: Catalanotto does well batting second, Kielty probably could handle it, and Hinske would be a perfect #2 man. I wouldn't hit and run with Hinske at the plate, though: he fanned 26 times this month. Was second on the Jays in extra-base hits, with 11. I expect him to be at this level more often next year. So does he, I assume.
Grade: A

Orlando Hudson
.262 .324 .446
His September numbers are very similar to his season numbers, which suggests that this is his true level of ability. Is still not stealing any bases; I think he's battling a leg injury or something like that. He'd be a better hitter if he drew more walks, but the Jays can live with him at second, especially given his defense. He's certainly better than Homer Bush, or being hit upside the head with a brick embedded with nails.
Grade: B

Reed Johnson
.364 .400 .545
Last month, I speculated that Johnson had reached a turning point in his career, and would have to show that he was capable of making adjustments at the major league level. It looks like he's passed this test with flying colours, as he compiled a 20-game hitting streak in September. His low walk total is worrisome - he drew only four walks in 88 at-bats - but anybody who reaches base 40% of the time is doing his job. An absolute joy to watch.
Grade: A+

Bobby Kielty
.284 .354 .448
When given the opportunity to face a lower grade of pitching, Kielty's numbers bounced back. I'm not sure what this means. Either (a) he has rebounded out of his slump, or (b) he only hits well when facing bad pitching (and it's not like the Twins face overwhelming pitching on a regular basis). Had an excellent strikeout-to-walk ratio in September: seven walks, and only eight strikeouts. This suggests that he'll likely be a useful hitter next year. It's impossible (and unfair) to judge a person by how he looks, which means I have no idea whether Kielty is smart and sophisticated, or dumb and gauche - but, boy, he sure looks like a hayseed.
Grade: A-

Greg Myers
.297 .333 .595
He'll never hit like Delgado ever again, but he hit well enough in September to suggest that he would be a useful player to retain in 2004. He can catch and serve as a lefty bat off the bench. And he'd be unlikely to complain about playing time. Only batted 37 times in September, as the Jays were giving Cash a full audition.
Grade: B+

Josh Phelps
.239 .346 .493
An interesting hitter; I haven't quite figured him out yet. His strikeout total was actually fairly low: 14 K's in 67 at-bats (as compared to 27 K in 89 at-bats for Delgado, and 26 K in 87 at-bats for Hinske). His patience at the plate is improving: he drew seven walks in 67 at-bats, which puts him over the magic "one walk every ten at-bats" Beane Seal Of Approval level. My impression is that he is still a work in progress. Had five home runs and 17 RBI in September; if you project that over a full season, you get impressive numbers indeed.
Grade: A-

Vernon Wells
.354 .389 .566
Good Lord, he's still getting better. And it's not just because he got to feast on mediocre pitching - he hit .345 in August. Still not drawing walks much, but I think that's because he's batting ahead of Delgado; after all, you can't draw a walk unless the pitcher throws you four wide ones. If his fall numbers represent his true level of offensive performance, he stands a good chance of becoming next year's MVP. I have no idea what to expect next, quite frankly - when a player's numbers begin to ascend into the stratosphere, prediction becomes difficult, as there aren't a lot of comparisons available. But, to give you an idea: this year, Vladimir Guerrero hit .330 with a slugging percentage of .586. Wells' OBP isn't at that level, but Vlad can't cover centre the way V-Dub can.
Grade: A+

Tom Wilson
.100 .182 .100
Has lost all his playing time to Kevin Cash; batted only ten times all month, despite being healthy (as far as I know). Baseball can be cruel at times. If Cash can pull it together, I can't see where Wilson fits into the equation: the Jays have a lot of 1B/OF/DH types already, and some (if not all) of them are better hitters than he is.
Grade: Missing In Action

Chris Woodward
.125 .250 .208
Expeditions of intrepid explorers have been sent to the equator and to both poles to search for Chris Woodward's career, which appears to have gone missing sometime during the summer. He isn't hitting well, he isn't fielding well, and he isn't playing much. At this point, his best hope is that Bordick retires, and Berg and Clark decide to go for a drag race on the Don Valley Parkway. Still, he could bounce back - at one point, this spring, his numbers were better than Derek Jeter's. We were all younger then.
Grade: F

Pitching

Brian Bowles
1 2/3 IP, 0 H, 1 BB, 1 SO, 0.00 ERA
Pitched only once, allowing no runs in 1 2/3 innings. He now gets to tell his grandchildren that he went an entire month without giving up a single hit. That's much better than, well, being hit on the head with a brick embedded with... never mind. (You try writing something meaningful about Brian Bowles. I dare you.)
Grade: Incomplete

Vinny Chulk
5.1 IP, 6 H, 3 BB, 2 SO, 5.06 ERA
Got beaten up, which tends to happen to marginal young pitchers that get called up in September. I don't see him having much of a future. But, whatever happens, he can say that he pitched in the major leagues, which will look really good on a resume even if he decides to go into life insurance.
Grade: Incomplete

Kelvim Escobar
30 IP, 33 H, 20 BB, 31 SO, 4.20 ERA
Gave up a few more walks than last month, but basically was the same pitcher: his ERA in August was 4.22. This suggests that, finally, he's found his level: he's a mid-level starter with power stuff and a strong arm. He's running the risk of becoming the Alex Gonzalez of pitchers: a sort of okay player who looks like he could turn the corner and become great any day now. Except that Escobar really could become great: he could become the next, er, Roy Halladay. Or he could become the next Robert Person. Or the next Rick Ankiel. That's what makes it fun to watch him: you never know what is going to happen. It's been a long weird road.
Grade: C+

Roy Halladay
51 IP, 31 H, 5 BB, 42 SO, 1.41 ERA
Of all the incredible numbers Doc put up this month, the most incredible is the first one: 51 innings pitched. That projects out to about 300 innings of top-quality pitching, and without significant arm abuse (except for the last start, in which Doc would have thrown 200 pitches, if necessary, to pick up that 22nd win). If you polled 100 baseball fans right now, and asked them whether they'd want Halladay or Loaiza to start Game 1 of the World Series for their team, I'd say that 95 of them would pick Halladay. Starting the good doctor against Detroit when shadows were obscuring home plate was an act of wanton cruelty to the Tigers.

Mind you, I'm already worrying that Halladay might have hurt his arm in his last start: pitchers always seem indestructible right up to the point at which they destruct. It's really startling how much of the franchise's success now depends on one man.
Grade: A+

Mark Hendrickson
14 IP, 21 H, 5 BB, 6 SO, 7.07 ERA
Car number 43, your time is up. When you lose your job to Pete Walker and/or Vinny Chulk, perhaps it's time to reconsider basketball as a career option. None of his September numbers look good in any way, shape, or form. If this guy starts another game for the Jays, I will write off their 2004 pennant chances.
Grade: F

Jason Kershner
12.2 IP, 11 H, 2 BB, 3 SO, 0.71 ERA
I seem to recall reading that Kershner was running out of gas in September, and his numbers show it - two walks and three strikeouts in 12 innings suggests a pitcher flinging the ball down the middle with the last of his fading strength. Mind you, this is an effective strategy when your opponents are teams like Detroit and Cleveland. He pitched well, but I hope he hasn't hurt himself permanently.
Grade: A

Cory Lidle
32.2 IP, 28 H, 12 BB, 21 SO, 4.13 ERA
Lidle recovered most of his form this month, but it's too little, too late. Surrendered five home runs, which suggests that the devils have not all been exorcised. Of the 2003 Jays, I suspect that he's the one most likely to go to a new team and then complain about his former employees. (Toronto baseball writers: keep this in mind as a subject for future columns, if you're in the mood for a little light J.P. bashing.)
Grade: C+

Aquilino Lopez
13 IP, 8 H, 4 BB, 3 SO, 1.38 ERA
As usual, came into the game whenever the Jays had a late-inning lead and it was close. Three strikeouts in 13 IP may mean that Lopez has finally been Tested To Destruction. Collected seven saves, which is impressive: if he keeps that up, the Jays will be able to trade him to the White Sox for two starting pitchers and cash. If he gets hurt, he'll sit right next to Darren Hall and Bob File on the list of relief pitchers who were good for one year and then imploded.
Grade: A+

Trever Miller
8.1 IP, 6 H, 5 BB, 8 SO, 4.32 ERA
The least heralded of the Jays to set a club record this month: he broke the record for games pitched in a season. Somehow, I don't think that, thirty years from now, we will tell our descendants that, yes, we were alive when Trever Miller was pitching in game after game after game after game after game after...
Grade: C-

Cliff Politte
4.2 IP, 3 H, 4 BB, 3 SO, 9.64 ERA
Those are some butt-ugly stats. Tosca has pretty much given up on him, going to Lopez and Miller pretty much exclusively. That's a small sample size, so you never know, but at this point I'm not expecting much.
Grade: F

Dan Reichert
6.1 IP, 11 H, 4 BB, 7 SO, 7.11 ERA
Move along, there's nothing to see here. When your ERA is equivalent to the name of a national variety store chain, it's best not to fork over a down payment on that luxury downtown Toronto condo you were considering.
Grade: F

Tanyon Sturtze
4 IP, 3 H, 2 BB, 2 SO, 4.50 ERA
Actually recorded a win in one of his two appearances this month. But don't be fooled, sports fans - he still had the 9th worst ERA on the staff. I suppose that's better than having the 11th worst ERA on the staff, but that's like saying that Buckley's Mixture is more tasty than cod-liver oil. Helped the team most during the final three games of the season, when he was suspended for his part in the Great Cuzzi Dispute.
Grade: D-, since I'm feeling magnanimous

Josh Towers
24.2 IP, 25 H, 2 BB, 25 SO, 3.65 ERA
Has boiled pitching down to its essence: throw strikes, and hope that the batters either miss the ball or hit it someplace harmless. So far, it seems to be working, but Towers did allow five home runs in September when pitching against teams that aren't exactly scary. I won't be convinced that Towers is effective until I see him survive pitching in Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park; after all, Brandon Lyon used to throw strikes too. But you can't argue with a K/BB ratio of 12.5 to 1, or a won-lost record of 3-0. Apparently has a grudge against the Orioles, which makes him popular in my book.
Grade: A-

Pete Walker
14.2 IP, 14 H, 1 BB, 6 SO
Pitched kind of okay, which is what Pete Walker does. You can't ride him to victory, but he won't hurt you. Is probably kind to children and small dogs, too. Walked only one batter all month, which is a good way to keep a manager happy. Every staff needs a guy who can start when necessary or pitch long relief when needed. One warning cloud: six strikeouts in 14.2 innings suggests that his arm isn't quite back up to snuff yet.
Grade: B+