Excuses, Excuses

Tuesday, April 27 2004 @ 11:27 AM EDT

Contributed by: Named For Hank

In this thread I will discredit every excuse that you use to not come out to the SkyDome to see your Toronto Blue Jays, especially now that the team seems to have found its wheels. Hit me with your best shots!

From last night's game thread:

Parking is too expensive: You're parking in the wrong place. The lot that Bird Droppings mentioned (under the office building at Front and Blue Jays Way, around the back) is literally a two minute walk from the Dome's gates, it's only $5, and last year I can remember exactly one time that it was full -- when some convention was in town. There's another $5 lot a further five minutes down Front, across from the convention centre.

In addition, a number of restaurants around Union Station are offering free parking or $1 or $2 parking at the SkyDome itself when you purchase a meal. I saw half a dozen signs to that effect a couple of weeks ago when I was out walking down there, unfortunately the only specific one I can remember was at Shopsy's. But hey, have some Shopsy's before the game and then park for a dollar under the Dome.

Concessions are too expensive: I agree. But aside from alcohol, you can freely bring in your own. The rules are easy to follow: no glass bottles, no cans, no bottles over one litre, no coolers, no large backpacks. So hit the Dollar Store and load up on 750mL Jolts or whatever you drink, buy a ten pound bag of peanuts and grab a dog from a vendor outside (hint: the further from the Dome you get, the cheaper the dogs are). I like the vendor down in the walkway between the subway and GO stations at Union. Anyone else have a favourite to reccomend?

The Dome stinks: In what way? Sightlines? Hell no, virtually every seat in the Dome is good. The upper deck cheap seats are fantastic, especially in the infield (and with attendance the way it is, there's no way they'll sell you an upper deck ticket out of the infield). The sections behind home plate are fabulous. Field level seats are fabulous. Frankly, the only seats I would label as non-fabulous are the Level of Excellence seats on the upper deck past the foul pole -- but if you're sitting in those seats, it means that the Dome is full.

Bad ambience? That's because you are not there, helping me to cheer on the Jays. Let's face it: I am one man, and cannot do it all by myself. So I attribute the bad ambience to your non-attendance. If you came out with me, it would be better. You have only yourself to blame on that one, sport. Well, maybe you could blame your friends, too -- get them to come out!

Lame canned sound effects and music? You'll notice that when the fans get going (which doesn't happen much, again because you are not coming out), they lay off the effects and let the fans do their thing. One game this year we managed to get the slow clap going in virtually every two-strike situation, and they didn't play the taped slow-clap drum once. They didn't need to. They play the effects when we are not helping.

What have I missed? Give me your excuses so I may pulverize them! The Jays need you there for their next homestand, and Cheer Club has declared that Monday, May 3rd is to be the Night Of Incredible Noise. The team is fired up right now, and we need to show them how much we appreciate it.

Send me an e-mail if you want to join in the madness, and we'll figure out tickets.

By the way, "I live in Moose Factory / Mongolia / the U.K. / somewhere far from Toronto" is a valid excuse that I will accept. I also know, deep in my heart, that those of you in far-flung locales would not hesitate to attend every game you could if you were in Toronto.

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