Jays @ Phillies, plus Who's That Man

Tuesday, March 15 2005 @ 09:00 AM EST

Contributed by: Named For Hank

Having neither seen nor heard yesterday's game, I can't tell you all that much about it. But will that stop me from trying? Hell no! Plus, by reading this thread, you could win a fabulous* prize.

The Jays came out at the wrong end of a 10-8 epic against their new rivals, the Phillies. I still don't know anything about the Phillies at all and am having a hard time working up a New York - Boston vibe when thinking about their potential clashes with the Jays. Maybe Gerry's Philadelphia preview next week will give me something to chew on in that department. Maybe we need the mayor of Philadelphia to come to Toronto and throw around some clever insults that cut close to the bone. Can the Phillies get Bobby Clarke into the mix? He's already in Philadelphia and I hate him. I'd suggest Jeremy Roenick, too, but all I can think of now when I see his face is that press conference where he bellowed "Wake up, NHL" in his squeaky Mike Tyson voice.

Okay, so that's a bad idea -- let's not bring the villains of another sport into our baseball rivalry. I guess we'll just have to meet up in the playoffs or something... and one of us will have to beat the other... and... zzzzZZZZZZZzzzz...

Just how does one start a baseball rivalry, anyways? Maybe the next time the Jays face Philadelphia, Captain Bud can call up the umpiring crew and tell them to watch out for bad blood. It worked for a whole series against the Devil Rays, though by the time they came a-visiting again we had forgotten all about it. Suggestions? MLB needs your help. Aside from moving the Phillies to Alberta and renaming them the Beef Kings, I don't have any idea of how to get a Toronto - Philly rivalry fired up.

In the I'm-so-clever department, I made some talking-out-of-my-hat comment about Chacin's spring troubles possibly being related to learning a new pitch, and faithful Bauxite Kevin Pataky actually brought in supporting evidence:

Last week at Legends Field, he seemed to be all over the place - but he was mostly throwing off speed stuff. I remember Jim Kaat saying he was throwing a slider that night, but I don't remember him using that last year in New Hampshire. He was primarily throwing a fastball, cutter, curve and some sort of change - tho maybe that was a variation of his cutter.

I should make uneducated pronouncements in game threads more often! I could end up looking like a smart guy!

Anyways, Kevin has promised to ask Chacin about that for us, and personally I'm looking forward to hearing the answer. I think that would lay to rest some of the roster-construction muttering that's been going around.

I can hear you all shouting "enough with the blathering, NFH, where's our damned prize?" Okay, okay, but don't get used to it -- NFH and prizes don't go hand in hand, you know.

So I was watching the Twins - Jays tilt last week on Sportsnet, and in the middle of the fifth inning, the camera zoomed in on a guy in the stands. This guy:

"Looks like a Minnesotan, doesn't he? Trying to get some sun?" That's what Dick Bremer, the Twins play-by-play man, had to say about him.

Well, I'm pretty sure that he's no Minnesotan. I know who he is. Do you? The first person who can tell me who he is wins a fabulous* prize.

*prize fabulousness depends on point of view of recipient.

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