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"Are they booing the Blue Jays, Smithers?'"

"Uh, no! They're saying Boo-urns. Boo-urns!"




As this is my first ever article on Da Box, I just want to say how awesome it is to have the opportunity to write for one of the best baseball websites in all of Internetland. Unfortunately, the squadron of choice around these parts is a very stinky baseball team right now.

I was hoping this would be a joyful time to introduce my new weekly feature article on Da Box: Game of the Week, where I look at a game of the past week (preferably featuring the Blue Jays) and recap it, complete with directionless insights and random Simpsons references. I think that's a perfectly cromulent thing to ask, don't you?
   
Unfortunately, the awfulness of the local twenty-five has made this task difficult, for it is incredibly difficult to watch this team without throwing large and heavy objects at your television. Nevertheless I shall persevere, and seek out one Blue Jays game a week of particular interest to write about. Should the unwatchableness of this team continue, well I guess I'll just get creative or something. I dunno. It's my first day!

Anyway.

The first ever Game Of The Week is May 3rd: Mariners versus Blue Jays at the Dome. This is a notable game as not only did it feature (King) Felix Hernandez (who is kinda really, really good) but it also the sudden and unexpected return of Ricky Romero, after just one (successful) start at Dunedin.

The first three innings was a pure pitchers duel: King Felix's fastball was too much for Toronto hitters, while Romero had the command of his pitches that made him one of baseball's best in 2011. A very subtle change in Romero's delivery had the TV broadcasters raving about Romero: in particular his ditching of putting both hands together and over his head during his wind up. For a pitcher who had struggled with command and release point as much as Ricky this makes a lot of sense: eliminate some moving parts and focus just on that instant the baseball leaves your hand. For the first three innings this adjustment worked brilliantly.
  
A leadoff walk to Michael Saunders opened the fourth inning (on a full count pitch) and then Seattle third baseman Kyle Seager smashed a fastball inside and high (halfway between the belt and the letters) into the right field seats to give the Mariners a 2-0 lead. Then Ricky lost the strikezone. He hit Kendrys Morales on the first pitch (it happened so quickly the television broadcast didn't even catch it live) walked two of the next three hitters and suddenly the bases were loaded. The trainers came out and it appeared that Romero had a blister on one of his pitching fingers. As someone who has pitched in competitive (of course amateur) baseball, I can speak firsthand on the experience of pitching with a blister: impossible. It messes up everything: your grip on the ball especially, but also your release point, your focus, your entire approach. Every time you throw the ball you know there's going to be a sharp stinging pain. That'll seriously mess you up.
  
It boggles my mind why Gibbons, seeing this, left Romero in the game. Sure enough, the next batter, Dustin Ackley, hit a ball hard into right field (another pitch up and in, Seattle's lefties seem to like it there) to score the Mariners third run. Ricky managed to make a nice play to get a force out at the plate off Montero and then pop up Brendan Ryan (he really looks like he's swinging a baton instead of a bat) to escape further damage, but those three runs would be all that Seattle needed with Felix Hernandez pitching.
   
Two other plays in this game stood out to me. One was Brendan Ryan's superb in-the-hole throw to steal a hit from Kawasaki. The other was immediately after Seattle scored their three runs in the 4th. Melky Cabrera led off the inning and hit a high pop fly into the Bermuda Triangle between third base, shortstop and left field. Once the ball hit the turf after several seconds airbourne I was certain the next thing I'd see would be Cabrera charging into second base, but instead he was just arriving at first, and it sure looked like he'd taken his sweet time getting there. In a moment that really sums up this season so far, the next batter, Bautista, hit a sharp ground ball right at the capable glove of Kyle Seager who turned it into an easy 5-4-3 double play. An opportunity to strike back quickly was completely squandered, and the Blue Jays never posed a serious threat again. FINAL: 4-0 Seattle.

I'm not going to lie: I don't enjoy watching this team right now and it's because they're terrible. Not even lovably terrible, or sympathetically terrible, no. Yeah, they're actually terrible at being terrible. I'm not completely sure they could beat the Intercounty Maple Leafs in a five game series, though I find the thought of that series amusing. You can totally picture Arencibia, Rasmus and Lawrie swinging and missing out of their shoes trying to hit the ball to Bloor street. It's hard to pinpoint what the problem with the Blue Jays is because everything is a problem. (Except Casey Janssen. He's awesome) The coaching has clearly not been good at all but you can't blame everything on just that.

Writing about an awful baseball team isn't particularly fun so here's hoping the Blue Jays can turn it around and quickly. I think they can, what worries me is how much they think that.

Division of The Atrocious -- Standings (as of May 5th)

Los Angeles Angels         11-19      --
Chicago Cubs                   11-19      --
Toronto Blue Jays            10-21     1.5
Miami Marlins                    9-22        3
Houston Astros                 8-23        4

Stat Line To Chew On of the week:


.525
.500
.451
.322 (31 games)


I just want to thank everybody again at Battersbox for welcoming me aboard. I'm looking forward to doing more of these in the future!


Game Of The Week -- April 28th to May 4th | 7 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Mike Green - Wednesday, May 08 2013 @ 11:57 AM EDT (#271742) #
Welcome, eephus.  "Game of the Week" brings me back- that was the name of the Saturday NBC baseball broadcast with Curt Gowdy and Joe Garagiola (Allan Roth did the stats!).

The Brendan Ryan play on Kawasaki was indeed fabulous.  He needed to have a strong throw because Kawasaki runs well, and I doubt that there are many shortstops who would have been able to pull that one off.  It's a play that I doubt Ozzie Smith would have made, and there aren't too many of those.

92-93 - Wednesday, May 08 2013 @ 12:54 PM EDT (#271750) #
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man. Welcome aboard.
CeeBee - Wednesday, May 08 2013 @ 01:25 PM EDT (#271753) #
Welcome Eephus. Game of the week featuring the Yankee's and Twins(any team will do) 1960's, in black and white on a friends T.V.( we didn't have one)Does bring back memories, mostly good. Hit one out Harmon!!! Go Twins!!!
Mike Green - Wednesday, May 08 2013 @ 01:31 PM EDT (#271755) #
"He can hit it out of any park, including Yellowstone".  Just for you, ceebee.
jgadfly - Wednesday, May 08 2013 @ 02:32 PM EDT (#271759) #
Home Run calls ... "Hey Mabel, Black Label" ... Dizzy Dean and Buddy Blatner (?)
Magpie - Wednesday, May 08 2013 @ 04:35 PM EDT (#271764) #
To you from failing hands, we throw the torch! Speaks a somewhat burned-out older guy. But as a distinguished movie star once said, "I vill be back!"
Gerry - Thursday, May 09 2013 @ 08:06 AM EDT (#271818) #
Welcome aboard eephus. I missed that game, and your write-up is all the more interesting given Ricky's problems yesterday.
Game Of The Week -- April 28th to May 4th | 7 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.