Turn Out the Li-ights ...

Friday, February 28 2003 @ 01:52 AM EST

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

It's no surprise to the learned baseball fan that a major league baseball entity based in Canada is relocating before the 2003 season ... but it's not the Montreal Expos.

As The Batter's Box, the erstwhile blog you're reading even now, moves to a new address (you only thought "URL" stood for "Uniform Resource Locator" ... it's actually "Unable to Remain Long-Term") please look for the following special new features in the new park.

In the BB opener, veteran hurler Kent Williams is expected to get the Opening Day nod ahead of steady Jordan Furlong and big-play Sean Whittaker.

O Canada, in both English and French, will be performed by breakout Latino-Hip-Hop-Country-and-Western star Dave Till (accompanied by Canadian greats Anne Murray and Gordon Lightfoot with the Barenaked Ladies singing harmony) while grizzled foreign correspondent John Gizzi will provide his own special a capella rendition of the American anthem, which he's rewritten as The Marred, Mangled Banner.

I am honored -- oops, honoured to have been selected to throw the ceremonial first bitch. Er, pitch.

Ground rules in the park remain the same with the exception of the bizarre decision to ban any mention of retired veteran lefty and former Detroit Tiger Frank Tanana.

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