Hall of Names: Philosophers Do it from the Rubber?

Wednesday, July 02 2003 @ 07:24 AM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

That's right ... it's the return of Baseball's Hall of Names: Philosophy 101 Edition. Inspired by a teriffically interesting discussion in the We'd Love To Help, Here's Ten Bucks thread -- hey, any discussion that includes a legitimate comparison of John Stuart Mill to Barry Bonds qualifies as interesting -- I thought we'd try to build an All-Philosophers Team.

No, not the Garry "If I Ain't Startin', I Ain't Departin'" Templeton type of philosopher, but rather a team of players who share names with noted philosophers, theologians, etc.

Here's the thing, though ... it seems that virtually every candidate I can come up with was a pitcher. Which leads to an interesting, ah, philosophical question of sorts in itself. Do philosophers make better pitchers? Or is it the reverse?

Read on for a rotation from Kuhn to Jung and a bullpen stocked with Foucault and Hume. And let's build a real lineup ... if, ah, reality exists, that is ...

Plenty of cups of coffee and journeymen ... Bob "Thomas" KUHN pitched one inning for the 1924 Indians, while Eddie "Sir Francis" BACON pitched one game for the 1917 Philadelphia A's. Say, he would have made a good addition to our All-Food team.

Bobby "John" LOCKE tossed for five teams over nine years mostly in the 1960's. Mark "John" DEWEY won 12 games bouncing around the National League in the early and mid 1990's. Bill "Talcott" PARSONS was a two-time 13-game-winner for the Brewers in the 1970's.

Not a bad bullpen: Steve "Michel" FOUCAULT was briefly the closer for the Texas Rangers and was once traded even-up for Willie Horton. Tom "David" HUME racked up 57 wins and 92 saves for the Reds and Phillies in the '70's and '80's.

Not sure what to make of current Atlanta Braves pitcher "Carl" JUNG Bong. Although Carl Jung with a Bong might well have developed an Eastern philosophy.

OK, I found an outfielder -- but only if you accept George W. Bush's debate-friendly definition of "philosopher" ... JESUS Alou.


Lord help us. Who's next?

11 comments



https://www.battersbox.ca/article.php?story=20030702072415999