Notes from Somewhere

Tuesday, September 09 2003 @ 10:09 AM EDT

Contributed by: Jordan

Vinny Chulk was pretty much the lone bright spot in yesterday's matinee thumping by the Yankees, and though he pitched two scoreless innings, it was serious pulse-racing time for the rookie. Vinny almost hyperventilated out there, bringing a mound visit by Orlando Hudson to calm him down. As Spencer Fordin notes, "This was like Chris Rock telling Denis Leary to clean up the act."

Elsewhere, Roy Halladay was named the Pepsi American League Pitcher of the Week. If MLB were smart, in addition to being the greedy, shortsighted sellouts they are, they'd have Coke sponsor the National League Players of the Week, so at least we'd get a real interleague rivalry going. Or maybe pay fans in opposing sections at the World Series to chant "Tastes great!" and "Less filling!" And when is General Motors going to get its own team? They're a larger market than any ML city except New York and greater Los Angeles. Headquarter the Expos in Dearborn, Michigan, change the team name to Chevrolets, and have them play all their games on the road (not such a big change); with a $300 million payroll, they'll be able to travel by Concorde everywhere anyway. I foresee great clashes with the McDonald's BigMax and the MasterCard Everywhereyouwannabes. Pardon me, I think I just choked on a sour grape.

Elsewhere, the Texas Rangers finished punishing Juan Gonzalez for vetoing the trade to Montreal earlier this year by placing him on the 60-day DL. I wouldn't be surprised to see the players' union take an interest in this, but I don't have a great deal of sympathy for Juan Gone, and even less for the Rangers. Note to GMs everywhere: no-trade clauses are more trouble than they're worth. Avoid, avoid.

The White Sox won the opener of their showdown with the Twins last night, as Bartolo Colon pitched a complete game (his seventh!) and gave the ChiSox a one-game lead in the AL Central. Remember when the White Sox looked absolutely sick against Toronto earlier this year? I was one of many people who wrote them off for dead then; Kenny Williams, whom I still don't much like, didn't, traded for the likes of Robbie Alomar, and now the Sox are in the thick of it. Second note to GMs: often, the best move you make is simply not to panic. Cf. Vernon Wells, Colorado Rockie in a horrible alternate universe.

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