Hijack Central: President's Day Bonanza

Friday, February 13 2004 @ 02:57 AM EST

Contributed by: Anonymous

If I ever run for office, I will make sure that Lincoln and Washington's birthdays are separate holidays again here in the states. President's Day my a--. But this holiday is more than just celebrating famous U.S. presidents like Abe Lincoln and FDR; it's also about celebrating some of the medicore ones, like Fillmore and Taylor, Ford and Hayes -- or Harrison, who died in 40 days.

There are some people, regrettably, who do not get Monday off. For them I am truly sorry, for either their company is too stingy, or they have not found the greatest person in the world -- my wife -- to support them while they search for their place in the universe. (Keep away; she's mine.) For some people, though, I am not sorry. I like to call those people "major-league baseball players." Yes, finally, for some teams, it's the start of spring training. Like every Bauxite, I view this news with great joy; I am tired of speculation and rumor: let's get it on already.

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