Hall of Names: The All-Sesame Street Team

Friday, September 03 2004 @ 10:49 AM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

There's just nothing like a Batter's Box Game Thread to inspire creativity in the denizens (and, in this case, the Denyszyn) of Da Box ... in yesterday's Yo No Soy Marinero thread, frequent contributor Rob mused, "Hmmm...Da Box needs to do an All-Sesame Street Team." And after the gritty, painful pop culture homage of the July 23 All-Grease Team, how can we refuse such a request for our ongoing Baseball's Hall of Names collection? Ask and ye shall receive here at Da Box; hell, usually, don't ask and you'll receive anyway. But before we get to our All-Sesame Street team, please rise for our national anthem:


Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street...
How to get to Sesame Street
How to get to...


... The Batter's Box All-Sesame Street Team?

Rob even generously started us off with a list of potential roster additions that included three Hall of Famers (Grover Cleveland Alexander, Ernie Banks, Oscar Charleston), another guy who SHOULD be a Hall of Famer (Bert Blyleven and a Rookie of the Year (Mark "The Bird" Fidrych, who if you didn't know, got his nickname because his wild frizzy blonde hair reminded teammates of Sesame Street's own Big Bird), as well as the inimitable George Henry "Snuffy" Stirnweiss.

Mike D. added as nominees another former Rookie of the Year in John "The Count" Montefusco as well as former infielder Cookie Rojas?

There's certainly a fine start to the pitching staff; it's just too bad nobody ever called Lefty Grove "Grover" or we'd have a mighty powerful lefty-righty pair of 300-game winners at the top of the rotation.

Still, while we can't confirm that CF/1B Charleston was a grouch or that IF Rojas was a monster, we ARE starting this team with Bert AND Ernie, Grover and Big Bird and that seems quite ... right.

But you know who's missing? Hear that twanging banjo over in the corner, and the sad soulful lyrics of "It Ain't Easy Being Green?" As much as we'd like to nod to the song and grab former Jay Shawn Green for this team, there actually has been one "Kermit" who made the major leagues ... 1940's-era 2B-SS-3B Kermit Wahl

But if we're going to recognize the real leader of the Muppet pack and get the ultimate "Street cred" for this team, don't we have to make room for former NY third baseman and current Dallas third-string QB Drew Henson?

Thanks to the Blyleven snub, there has never been a Bert inducted into Cooperstown, but there are two Ernies; we've already met Mr. Banks, who could play either short or first on this team, but there's also HOF talent behind the plate (isn't it usually Cookie Monster "behind a plate" on Sesame Street?) in Ernie Lombardi. Because Bert & Ernie are an inseparable pair, if we're to have an additional Ernie, then make room for another Bert ... former All-Star shortstop Bert Campaneris will do just fine; we have two more former All-Stars available as a pair, too, in 1B/3B Bert Haas and former Jay hero catcher Ernie Whitt.

Two additional Oscars also made All-Star teams during their careers, in 2B/3B Oscar Grimes and LHP Oscar Judd.

Jim-TBG points out that Charleston can be joined in the OF by fellow Hall of Famer Harry "Mr." Hooper

Lineup
C Ernie Lombardi
1B Ernie Banks
2B Cookie Rojas
SS Bert Campaneris
3B Kermit Wahl (c'mon ...you GOTTA have Kermit!)
LF Luis "The Great Gonzo" Gonzalez**
CF Oscar Charleston
RF Harry Hooper

Rotation
SP Grover Cleveland Alexander
SP Bert Blyleven
SP John Montefusco
SP Mark Fidrych

Sure, the rotation is all righties, but are YOU gonna argue with a career record of 779-550 (.577)? And WAIT a minute ... remember the bombastic "Harry Monster" on the Street? The best Harry in MLB history, arguably anyway, is a fine left-handed starter, who even brings his own fuzzy animal nickname to the program, Harry "the Cat" Brecheen, he of the career 133-92, bringing the rotation's career results to 912-642 (.587)

If we need ANY relief help at all, say if all the pitchers go out on strike at the same time, we can call on Aloysius "Allan" Travers, who surrendered 24 runs (just 14 earned) in his sole major league appearance and has an award named after him here at Batter's Box -- and who later became a priest. What? You didn't know that "Aloysius" is the real first name of the famed Snuffleupagus? As Yogi would say, "You could look it up."

Bench
C Ernie Whitt
Possible third C: Gabby Street
1b/3B Bert Haas
UTIL Snuffy Stirnweiss
2B Carlos "Fozzie" Baerga**
3B/QB Drew Henson
OF Elmer Flick (there has never been an "Elmo" in MLB history)

** OK, these two are a stretch as we are resorting to Bermanism nickname in one instance AND going "off-Street" for Muppet Show characters in both cases. That's why the former All-Star 2B is on the bench rather than starting. as for LF, see below. Mercifully, we have not tried to add "Hall of Fame" shortstop Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto because everyone hated Scooter the Muppet Rat anyway.

If this team had a designated hitter, we'd nominate -- sorry, Rudy Tomjanavich fans, you can see this coming like a punch to the face, right? -- former hoops star Kermit Washington, but we'll stick with the traditional lineup ... no DH, no Danny Ainge/Mark Hendrickson hoops/hardball crossovers.

Presuming we bump Muppet Show interloper Gonzo from this team, we find ourselves short a left fielder. We could invoke minor Sesame Street character Hoots the Owl and end up with Hoot Evers out there, but we should have mentioned at the outset ...

This thread is brought to by the Public Blogcasting System [PBS] in assocation with the letter B and the number 25.

And so we have ourselves a pretty fair left fielder:

Opening Day Lineup Card:

6 Campaneris, Bert
8 Charleston, Oscar
7 Bonds, Barry
3 Banks, Ernie
2 Lombardi, Ernie
9 Hooper, Harry "Mr."
4 Rojas, Cookie
5 Wahl, Kermit
9 Alexander, Grover

Bring it on, Electric Company! Your team is totally ...

scr-
-ewed ...
SCREWED!


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