Write your own headlines; Toronto stories to start with. You'll get the idea. Jump in! one rule: no nicknames, those are too easy. Proper names -- first or last -- only.
In a game where David has a great start but Ligtenberg blows the save:
KERRY BLOWS LEAD FOR BUSH
But in the next game, Ligtenberg gets a win while his batterymate hits a walkoff homer:
CASH AND KERRY: JAYS WIN
In a game where Vinnie is tossed by the ump for "emery"-ing the baseball:
UMP ERASES CHULK BOARD
An obvious one where Vernon get the extra-inning game-winning hit against San Diego in interleague play off a former Jay lefty:
ALL'S WELLS THAT ENDS WELLS
Johnson's big offensive day earns a win for Bob:
BIG JAYS AT THE OFFICE: REED IT, THEN FILE IT
Feature about the future of a potential closer:
JAYS RELIEVER A-SPEIERS TO GREATER THINGS
Challenge: don't resort to the obvious Gross, Lilly and Towers puns; find a new twist!
And around the majors ...
Obvious Reds headline (Reds-line?)
CASEY AT THE BAT, GRAVES CONCERN ON THE MOUND
For the Florida speedster:
OUI, OUI: PIERRE RUNS WILD
Milwuaukee wins at San Francisco thanks to a mammoth homer from the 1B:
LYLE HITS ONE OVERBAY, JINTS LOSE TO BREW CREW
St. Louis keeps winning thank to MVP candidate, former Jay;
CARPENTER NAILS IT DOWN, CARDS KEEP ROLEN, ROLEN, ROLEN
Of course,now that we've opened it up to the entire MLB universe, the possibilities are endless!
GIANTS PUT STOCK IN BONDS
MINNY NON-ROOK FORD HAS A BETTER IDEA
PADS SHORTSTOP: IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' GREENE
DODGERS KNOW BENCH STRENGTH WERTH A LOT IN PENNANT RACE
Fire away ... and remember, don't just go for the EZ-Pun (tm). Make sure it's a real, viable baseball headline, either for a game story or a feature.
Best headline (winner to be chosen by a committee of me, with assistance from The Cabal) prize TBD. No frequent cuttlefish points can be redeemed as part of this contest.