Giving Baseball "The Bird"

Tuesday, February 22 2005 @ 08:30 AM EST

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

Here we go, with our standard "Hall of Names" companion piece to Mike Green's current Hall Watch profile, this one of Frank "Bat-Man" Thomas' sidekick, Robin Ventura.

It seems remarkable, but only four men in the history of the game have been named "Robin" -- and if Ventura ever enters the Hall of Fame (unlikely, but obviously at least worth discussing, or we wouldn't be here) that means three of the four Robins will be enshrined in Cooperstown. Ventura would join Robin Roberts and Robin Yount in The Hall, leaving former Cubs/A's/Rockies/Reds outfielder Robin Jennings wondering just what the hell happened.

But no, even with two current Hall of Famers, there's no "Rockin' Robin" team to be built. So do we go with the 21 guys with the initials "RV" for an "All-Big-Rig" team? Uh, no. How about guys like Ventura who share a name with a famous highway? Unlikely at best. But wait ... read through that Mike Green Hall Watch piece again. See the comparison of Ventura to Ron Cey? An idea takes flight ...

Robin Ventura? Ron "The Penguin" Cey? You see where this is headed, right? That's right, this edition of Baseball's Hall of Names is strictly for the birds!

Now, as usual, a few rules.

First, because we make the rules we can break them, so the long-standing Hall of Names ban on nicknames is hereby waived. (You should've figured that out from the earlier Cey example, anyway.)

To help compensate, we will use a one-bird, one-man rule; that means, when we select our Robin, if we want Roberts in the rotation, Yount stays home. And if we want a Goose in the bullpen, then like Yount, another Hall of Fame outfielder will need to watch from the stands. Even if one man's nickname is another's given name, we can only choose one ... so, sayonara, Doug Bird; we have a wacky ex-Tiger in our rotation. But we will allow the slightly-different "Bird" and "Birdie."

We could use some help from the left side on the mound, Bauxites, and a few of the below choices are a real reach (I stayed away from Barry Lark-in but caved to get Don Gull-ett on the team) ... so how can we do better?

The usual roster spots apply:
* indicates All-Star
** indicates Hall of Famer

LINEUP
C Birdie Tebbetts (player/manager)
1B Pidge-on Brown (.210 in 65 games for '62 HOU)
2B Jay Partridge (.260 for '27 BRK)
SS Robin Yount**
3B Ron "the Penguin" Cey*
RF Andre "Hawk" Dawson*
CF Norman "Turkey" Stearnes**
LF Joe "Ducky" Medwick**
DH Jay Buhner*

BENCH
C Don Crow (oh-for-4 in 4 games with 1982 LAD)
COR IF Alan Storke (.261 for 1906-09 PIT, STL)
MID IF Fred "Chicken" Stanley
OF Bill Eagle (.308 in 13 AB for 1898 WSN)
OF Buck Thrasher (.255 for '16-'17 PHA)
UTIL Sam Crane (2B/SS/3B/OF, .208 in seven seasons with four teams)

ROTATION
RHSP Mark "the Bird" Fidrych*
LHSP Don Gull-ett* (yeah, it's a reach)
RHSP Craig Swan (former NL ERA champ -- did you know that?)
LHSP Pete Falcone (close enough! ... two 12-win seasons)
RHSP Billy Swift (former 20-game winner)

BULLPEN
CL Rich "Goose" Gossage*
RH SET Phil "the Vulture" Regan*
LH SET Bruce Ruff-in (Sorry, Red Ruff-ing, we need a lefty)
LONG Joel Finch (O-3 for '79 Bosox)
LONG Mike Parrott (14-12 for '79 SEA, then 1-16 in '80)

RHRP Conrad Cardinal had a 13-inning cameo with the '63 Astros, but not quite enough to make this team. And despite what you might think about now nice Jose would be on this team, "Cardenal" is not the Spanish word for "Cardinal."

Finally, yes, just as Scott Lucas was the unofficial Box Roster sponsor of our recent "Great Scott" Hall of Names team, we have a Roster member atop this motley crew as well ... our own Dan "Magpie" McIlroy.

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