All-Jays Versus All-Rays

Wednesday, April 06 2005 @ 11:29 PM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

You know, this Hall of Names challenge really should have been obvious from the get-go on Opening Day, but better late (at least before the next series starts) than never. It's Jays versus Rays redux ... and it doesn't look like this team of all Jays could hope to take two of three from their Ray counterparts.

Actually, the Jays could be pretty good ...

... with a Hall of Famer at the front of the rotation and a higher quality overall staff, generally speaking. But then, we had to stack the deck to make it even close to fair.

For instance, we didn't bother to build a bench, since that would have left the Jays stretched terribly thin, while on the other side, it meant that several All-Stars -- including catchers Ray Mueller, Ray Lamanno and Ray Fosse, 2B Ray Mack and 3B Ray Jablonksi, not to mention SS Ray Chapman, who would've made an All-Star team or three had there been such a thing before his tragic on-field death -- didn't even make the Rays roster at all.

Even then, where the Jays have one Hall of Famer and three other All-Stars, the Rays have two and nine, respectively.

We also eliminated references to middle names (Sorry Tyrus Raymond Cobb -- oh, and you too, Garth Ray Iorg) and to last names, as those additions would have widened the pool for both teams, but again, far more for the Rays than the Jays.

So, go on home, Joey Jay. You too, Johnny Ray and Claude Raymond. No middle names, even for guys like you, Jim Ray Hart. And no alternate spellings of any kind in the area of first names, so it's sayonara, Rey Ordonez; take a hike, J.C. Romero and J.T. Snow.

** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star

WELL, YOU CAN CALL ME JAY ...
MGR Jay Thomas "Tom" Kelly
C Jayhawk Owens
1B Jay Johnstone
2B Jay Canizaro
SS Jay Bell*
3B Jay Loviglio
RF Jay Buhner*
CF Jay Payton
LF Jayson Werth
DH Jay Gibbons

SP Jay "Dizzy" Dean**
SP Jay Hughes
SP Jay Tibbs
SP Jay Hook
CL Jay Howell*
RP Jay Powell
RP Jay Witasick
RP Jay Baller


OR YOU CAN CALL ME RAY ...
MGR Ray Miller
C Ray Schalk**
1B Ray Grimes Sr.
2B Ray Mack*
SS Ray Boone*
3B Ray Dandridge**
RF Ray Pepper
CF Ray Lankford*
LF Ray "Rip" Radcliff*
DH Ray Knight*

SP Ray Culp*
SP Ray Scarborough*
SP Ray Burris
SP Ray Caldwell
CL Ray Narleski*
RP Ray Starr*
RP Ray King
RP Ray Fisher

Okay, Bauxites, this was thrown together pretty quick-and-dirty. Can you help these near-hapless Jays in their battle with the big bad Rays?

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