What Can Brown Do For You?

Tuesday, April 26 2005 @ 12:01 AM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

Watching Kevin Brown struggle in pinstripes again this past weekend raised the question -- at least in my mind -- is he the greatest Brown ever to play major league baseball? Raise three fingers in the air if you know the answer to that right off, as we prepare for another exciting rendition of Baseball's Hall of Names ... Woohoo!

By now you know the drill here, right? Anyone with "Brown" in their last name -- so "Browne" and "Browning" are just fine -- is eligible. However, unless you can come up with a compelling case, Bauxites, our friends (if indeed there are any) named Braun, Bruns, Marrone and the like are not eligible. However, if you can come up with any shades of brown -- as we did with our Green team last week -- more power to you. I suppose that could make Chuck Tanner the manager, though I really like the persistence of the guy we have on the bench right now.

In an odd quirk, the team's starting CF, Bobby Brown (don't worry, Whitney, different one) was once traded for Rawly Eastwick -- and later part of a deal for Shane Rawley.

THE BROWN BEARS
* Indicates All-Star
** Indicates Hall of Famer

MGR: Charlie Brown (beloved cartoon character doubles as emergency RHSP)

LINEUP
C Dick Brown (.244 in 1957-65; .266/16/45 for '61 DET)
1B Willard "California" Brown (.261, 1887-94)
2B Jerry Browne ("The Governor" hit .271 in 10 seasons)
SS Larry Brown (.233 in 1129 games, 1963-74)
3B Bobby "Doc" Brown (eight years in bigs, six rings with NYY)
LF Ollie Brown (.265, 102 homers, 13 seasons for six teams)
CF Bobby Brown (starting CF, 14 HR, 27 SB for '80 NYY division champs)
RF "Glass Arm" Eddie Brown (.303 career hitter had career OPS+ of 98)
DH Chris Brown* (projected SFG superstar flamed out fast)

BENCH
C Kevin L. Brown (C Kevin, RHSP Kevin just missed being TEX teammates)
UTIL Tommy "Buckshot" Brown (.241, 1944-53, played all positions but P, C)
OF/P Tom Brown (1951 career hits, 1882-98; also 2-2 in 12 games on the mound)
IF Jimmy Brown* (STL 2B/SS/3B was WWII-era '42 All-Star during worst season)
PH/DH Gates Brown (big-time PH in 13 seasons with DET, 1963-75)

ROTATION
RHSP Mordecai Brown** (239-130, career 2.06 ERA)
LHSP Tom Browning* (perfect game hurler was 123-88 for CIN)
RHSP J. Kevin Brown* (207-137 through '04)
LHSP Lloyd Brown (91-105 career; 46-38 for 1930-32 WSH)
RHSP Mace Brown* (15-9 as '38 All-Star with PIT, 76-57 career)

BULLPEN
CL Jumbo Brown (33-31; 29 career saves leads all Browns)
RHRP Hal "Skinny" Brown (85-92;11 career saves)
LHRP Curly Brown (3-8, 1911-15)
LHRP Stub Brown (4-0 for 1894 Orioles)
RHRP Jackie Brown (13-12 for '74 TEX, traded for Gaylord Perry)

AND THE LIST OF BROWN-OUT VICTIMS:
OF Adrian Brown (.260, mostly with PIT since '97)
OF Brant Brown (looked like potential star in '98-99; do CHC still hate him?)
OF Dee Brown (KCR star-in-waiting still waiting seven years later)
RHSP Bob Brown (14-7 for '32 BSN, 16-21 career)
RHSP Buster Brown (51-103 in nine years, 1905-13)
RHSP Clint Brown (five 11+ win seasons; 89-93 career)
RHSP Boardwalk Brown (17-11 for '13 PHA champs, 38-40 career)

Okay, Bauxites ... what can YOU do for Brown?

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