Prologue
At 3:00 am this morning, little Theodore woke up and decided he wanted to play. For two hours. So he and I played. I figured when he went back to sleep he'd be out for at least three hours and I could get enough sleep to cope with the day. Instead, he woke up again at 6:30, raring to go.
It's okay, I thought, I'll just nap when he does. Well, he napped, but never for longer than 15 minutes at a stretch, and every time he woke up full of beans and energy.
As 10:00 pm approached, I knew I'd need a little extra to get through the game, so I purchased a magic elixir known as the Red Eye: a cup of dark roast coffee with a double shot of espresso in it.
This should explain some of my game notes.
Top of the 1st
I missed most of this inning because I was at my in-laws' house, dealing with in-law-y things. Originally I was going to try to explain them, but 1) you don't care, and 2) it's not that interesting, even to me.
Eventually I headed upstairs to see Hillenbrand ground out to end the inning; the middle of July seems like it's a long, long, long way away.
Bottom of the 1st
Oh boy! Mark Kotsay leads off.
Are the outfield seats in Oakland emptier than the outfield seats in Toronto? It looks like a desolate wasteland behind the pitcher.
Rios catching Kendall's fly ball: I'm struck by how much he looks like a professional ballplayer all of a sudden.
Eric Chavez, in stark contrast to the playing piece named after him in the MLB Sportsclix game, draws a walk. In the games I've played of Sportsclix, Chavez is known for striking out, dropping easy fly balls and never, ever taking a walk. He's such a bad fielder in that game that as an experiment I moved Adam Dunn, also known for dropping fly balls regularly in the game, to third base, where he had to play with a significant performance penalty because he's not a third baseman, and he was still a much better fielder than Chavez. Maybe next I'll try Eddie Guardado at third and compare.
The TV at my in-laws' place is small and fuzzy. I miss my big sharp TV.
Top of the 2nd
Nick Swisher reminds me of Fisher Stevens.
There's a guy selling peanuts and popcorn in the deserted section that you can see behind the pitcher. He's moving slowly, mournfully, like his life has no purpose.
Watching Rios bat I'm reminded of a conversation I overheard between two photographers in the camera bay at the last Jays game I was at, where they were complaining about how difficult it was to get the classic batter's poise photograph of Alex because he tucks his chin into his shoulder and rests his bat on his other shoulder until the very last minute.
When is Wells going to steal those bases? Saarloos seems nervous about him being out there... hey, was that maybe a psych-out attempt on Vernon's part? Get the opposing pitcher to pay a lot more attention to him on the basepaths by announcing that he's going to start stealing bases?
Bottom of the 2nd
I miss the good old days when Howie Mandel was in classics of awful cinema like Walk Like A Man, where he played a boy raised by wild dogs. Really, how can you go down from there? Howie Mandel has found a way.
The more I look at the individual members of the Oakland A's, the more I wonder if the guys from Endless Summer one day decided to start a baseball team.
Jamie Campbell is talking about Byrnes trade rumors, and says that he's "the heart and soul of the team". I think he writes all their songs, too.
Nick Swisher is up again, and I really think he looks like Fisher Stevens. "I have seen some strange, bizarre drivers, but you, you will be awarded a cake."
Top of the 3rd
In Sportsclix, I'd be screaming at Chavez right now. The real thing is apparently much better than his tiny plastic representation.
I was thinking about what it would be like if teams were named after the sponsors of their stadiums. Oakland would be the Oakland MacAffees; there would be the Houston Minute Maids, the Tampa Bay Tropicanas, the Seattle Safecos, the Chicago Wrigleys and the Toronto Rogers (the last two of which I like because they sound vaguely dirty).
I sympathize with Frank Catalanotto's beard -- I grew a goatee about five years ago when I got fed up with people asking me what school I went to.
Bottom of the 3rd to the top of the 5th
Tried to listen in the car, but instead I got to hear Vanessa speak at length about how I was unsupportive while she was in labor. I have no idea why she's talking about this right now.
Top of the 5th
I missed my TV so much...ahhhhhhh. So big, so clear.
Saarloos... it's like you're heckling him, but it's just his name.
Every time Shea Hillenbrand is hit by a pitch, an angel gets its wings.
Bottom of the 5th
Chavez would never do that in Sportsclix. He'd ground out to the pitcher or something. Bah.
Hey, all six people in the stands are cheering "Let's Go Oakland".
Cowboy Joe West, once again the villain. At least it only cost Pete Walker one extra pitch.
Top of the 6th
Rios: looks like a ballplayer, I don't care what those photographers say.
Is there anyone on this team you'd rather have at the plate with Rios on third than Huckaby? I mean, wouldn't you rather have anyone other than Huckaby at the plate right now? Arrrgh, my bad vibes pay off with a terrible, weak grounder.
Thank God it's Rincon coming in -- my fantasy team has Duchscherer on it, and obviously the Jays are going to score a lot of runs in the next few innings.
Bottom of the 6th
Scutaro -- isn't that the planet where Davros created the Daleks?
Look at all that foul territory! Field level seats must stink in Oakland.
Top of the 7th
Duchscherer is in -- I guess my fantasy team will just have to take the hit for the good of the Jays.
Aaron Hill walks -- I'm trying not to be overexcited about him, but it's hard to keep my rampant enthusiasm in check when he keeps performing like this.
I cringe when Hillenbrand pops that first pitch, but it drifts foul and then he smacks one up the middle for a single. Phew!
Hinske's tight black sleeves on his undershirt are reminding me of the evil black alien suit that tried to bond itself to Spider-Man's spine. Wait, is that the secret to Eric Hinske's resurgence? Did the evil black Spidey-suit somehow escape from the Fantastic Four, make its way to Toronto and bond to Hinske?
Daaaammmmmmmn, Vernon Wells strikes out with the bases loaded. However, Rios is on my fantasy team, so this could be good for me.
Or he could strike out too.
Bottom of the 7th
Pete Walker looks like a guy who would have a nickname like Mad Dog or Shiv or something.
Top of the 8th
Do they have a drummer in Oakland?
Bottom of the 8th
The power went out. I wonder if I can find the radio in the dark.
Hah, found the radio and then the power came back on. Apparently I didn't miss anything.
Top of the 9th
It all comes down to this: Jays down by two, Reed Johnson, Aaron Hill and Shea Hillenbrand vs. the improbably named Houston Street.
Houston Street was the compensation for Baltimore signing Tejada? That's some pretty fine compensation there.
Ground out, hit (yay Hill!), strikeout (noooo Shea!), two outs for Eric Hinske...
ERIC, USE YOUR SPIDER-SENSE!
Bah, I forgot that it's an evil suit and has it's own agenda. Jays lose 5-3. At least Baltimore and New York lost too.