Alex, Pudge and ... Um ...

Wednesday, September 07 2005 @ 08:00 AM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

These days, it seems you can't go to a major league ball game without having a Rodriguez hitting in the middle of one team's order or trotting out of the other team's bullpen in the late innings. The name has become so pervasive that there is a generic blanket nickname for the Rodriguez boys: first-initial-Rod, from A-Rod to K-Rod, H-Rod to I-Rod and F-Rod, these less-than-creative nicknames so abound that one is tempted to scream, enough, all-Roddy!

Anyway ... it was not always thus. In fact, just 28 men have played in the big leagues bearing the surname/family name "Rodriguez," and all but six of those have debuted in The Show since Orwell's dystopian novel became passe in 1984.

In fact ...

... prior to that, only the following "Rods" (listed alphabetically by first name) had appeared in a big league uniform:

Now let's be blunt -- most of you have heard of Aurelio Rodriguez, since he was a Gold Glove 3B not too long ago; some of you have heard of Ellie, the Orioles backstop of roughly the same era. But if this is the quality of player we're going to get, this team could be in trouble.

Not to worry. That's Alex over there at shortstop (yes, shortstop, Boss) ... Ivan is the catcher, and you can call him "Pudge." Henry was an All-Star OF. Frankie will come trotting out of the bullpen in the ninth. These guys you know.

But the team could still be a little thin, with just a total of 28 to assemble a theoretically 25-man roster; the starting pitching looks to be in the most trouble. Put it this way; if we were to add Jose Desiderio Rodriguez Lima to the roster, he would easily be the ace of the rotation. Easily.

Actually, the starting rotation isn't the only concern -- it looks like Henry Rodriguez is the only "Rod" in big league history to ever play the outfield; everyone is a relief pitcher or a middle infielder (insert "stereotypes can be based in reality" comment here).

So to fill out a starting lineup, a couple of guys who displayed ome versatility around the infield are going to have to try their luck in the OF, as L-Rod moves to CF while C-Rod plays RF. At least it sounds plausible. On the bench, everyone except Ellie, tied up with his catcher's mitt, has been instructed to bring an outfielder's glove to camp as well.

Needless to say, we'll opt for National League rules, for though our starting rotation is rough at best and our bullpen will get a real workout, there is no bat worthy of being the DH-Rod.

Well, at least this team will have some power, with Alex, Ivan and Henry around ... and as we assemble this Hall of Names "cast," is there any other name for the team but ...

The Rods and Reals
** indicates Hall of Famer (none yet)
* indicates All-Star

MGR: No "Rodriguez" has yet managed in the major leagues; we'll give the job to Ellie, since soft-spoken, hard-nosed veteran catchers seem to tend to become good managers.

Lineup
C Ivan Rodriguez* (11 gold gloves, seven silver bats by age 32)
1B Aurelio Rodriguez* (.237, 124 homers; played 2 games at 1B)
2B Vic Rodriguez (career .429! hitter with BAL/MIN -- 12 for 28)
SS Alex Rodriguez* (400+ homers before age 30)
3B Hector Rodriguez (.265 in 134 games for '52 CHW, only season)
LF Henry Rodriguez* (.259, 160 homers in 11 seasons)
CF Liu Rodriguez (.237 for 1999 CHW as an IF)
RF Carlos Rodriguez (.278, 1991-95 as an IF)

Bench
C Ellie Rodriguez (.245 in nine seasons)
IF Edwin Rodriguez (.227, 1982-85)
IF Jose "El Hombre Goma" Rodriguez (.166, 1916-18)
2B Steve Rodriguez (7 for 39 in 1995 with BOS, DET)
3B Tony Rodriguez (.239 with 1995 BOS)

Rotation
RHSP Francisco Rodriguez (13-14 for 1996 MIN; 29-39 career)
LHSP Wilfredo Rodriguez (perennial HOU prospect now with TEX, still 0-0)
RHSP Nerio Rodriguez (4-6 career; Jays traded Juan Guzman for him)
RHSP Ricardo Rodriguez (2-3 in 2005, 10-15 career with CLE, TEX)
RHSP Roberto Rodriguez (4-3; five of 57 careeer games were starts)

Bullpen
CL-RH Frankie Rodriguez (13 saves pre-'05; near 40 this year)
SET-RH Felix Rodriguez (37-25, 11 saves through 2005)
SET-LH Rich Rodriguez (31-22, eight saves in 13 seasons through 2003)
LHRP Rosario Rodriguez (2-2, 6 saves, 1989-91; MLB youngest all 3 years)
RHRP Eddy Rodriguez (1-0, 4.78 in 29 200 appearances)

We had to really stretch in a few places, Bauxites ... so, how else can we reel in a few Rods?

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