A Tale of Two Fan Experiences

Thursday, May 11 2006 @ 06:00 PM EDT

Contributed by: Named For Hank

I have never had two more different experiences as a spectator than a pair that I had this year. Both involved Theo, my son. One was fantastic, and the other was a nightmarish train-wreck.

First, I'd like to share the good experience, which was at today's Jays game. We got tickets in the "Family Zone", a re-done part of the 200 level just past third base. Today was one of four baby-centric promo days where extra change facilities with free diapers were set up (though Rogers Centre has always had change tables in both the men's and women's washrooms, and also a number of larger family washrooms), along with a table of free cookies and juice. The overhead speakers in the baby section had been turned down or off.

The permanent part of the Family Zone has a small playground, a big foam baseball diamond to run around on, hitting and pitching interactive games, and a bunch of video games. Theo enjoyed the slide and the diamond, but he was too young for the rest of it. He could run around without being underfoot or inconveniencing anyone, though he actually watched about seven innings of the game. He laughed every time Gregg Zaun's picture came up on the big screen.

We had fun. The staff were helpful and friendly and more than one of them knew Theo's name by the end and said goodbye on the way out.

This would not have been as shockingly positive an experience if we hadn't taken Theo to a pre-season Raptors game at the Air Canada Centre. Some of you have probably heard me tell this story in person; I considerd writing it up at the time and posting it, but I wanted to give the ACC a chance to respond to my complaints and give myself a chance to cool off and be reasonable about it.

We had really great seats and were looking forward to our very first Raptors game. Boy, were we in for it.

The problems began when they searched our diaper bag. The following is a real conversation I had with an ACC security drone:

SECURITY: Sir, what's in this container?

ME: Baby food.

SECURITY: You can't bring food into the Air Canada Centre.

ME: Not even baby food?

SECURITY: No sir.

ME: But it's pureed organic squash -- you don't sell anything like that inside.

SECURITY: It doesn't matter. No food can be brought into the Air Canada Centre, not even baby food.

ME: Why not?

SECURITY: Because of September 11th, sir.

ME (in disbelief): Because of September 11th I cannot bring baby food into the Air Canada Centre.

SECURITY: That is correct, sir.

But it didn't end there. Also because of September 11th, we couldn't bring in a bottle of breast milk, which we had with us because we figured (correctly) that there would be nowhere to breastfeed a baby in the ACC. When I asked the security drone what he suggested I feed to Theo, who was just about a year old at the time, the guy had the nerve to suggest a hot dog and a Coke. The final straw, unsurprisingly, was the lack of changing facilities. Where every washroom I've been into at the Rogers Centre has a change table, none did at the ACC. Something in me snapped when no one could help me -- everyone I spoke to looked at me like I was from Mars when I asked about baby changing facilities. The vengeful, angry NFH made an appearance and decided it was time to change Theo's smelly, poopy diaper on the season ticket sign-up table, much to everyone's disgust. Throughout I cheerfully apologized and explained that the lack of even significant counter space in the bathrooms made it necessary for me to comandeer their table.

There's actually even more to this story involving dirty looks and threats of ejection, but I'm getting angry just thinking about it. And really, do I need to do that to myself? No, I don't.

Needless to say, none of my complaint calls to the Air Canada Centre were ever returned.

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