LIke a Virgin (Islander)

Thursday, June 12 2008 @ 05:05 PM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

Have you heard about the rookie utilityman playing with the Padres? (No, that's not a leading question.) His name is -- and this is wonderful -- Callix Crabbe. There's no doubt that such a fabulously-monikered player would eventually make one or more  Hall of Names team(s), though he's only the fifth player to make the bigs with "Crab" in his surname, so there probably isn't enough for an All-Shellfish team. (But that's good -- who wants to deal with shellfish players? Har!)

All that said, young Callix Sadeaq Crabbe -- and he's the only player in the game's history with either of those given names! -- is also just the eleventh MLB player ever to have been born in the U.S. Virgin Islands. And miraculously, with only a tiny bit of juggling, those players actually fill out, not a full roster of course, but at least a regular lineup card.

The first ...

... is our starting pitcher, Al McBean. (Actually, he was more of a reliever. But we need someone to take the ball in the first inning!) Crabbe is the most recent, of course, and the only one since Midre Cummings left the game in 2005.

None of these men has ever made an All-Star team, and none seem likely headed to Cooperstown, though Crabbe is just 25, so even though he's hitting .176 at this writing, who knows? You'll recognize some of these names, Bauxites, as we meet ...

Lady Madonna's Men
(Every one is "Like, a Virgin Islander")
** No Hall-of-Famers
* No All-Stars
No manager!

C Ellie Hendricks (.220. 62 homers, 1968-79)
1B Calvin Pickering (.223, 14 homers, parts of 1998-2005)
2B Callix Crabbe (IF/OF at .176 so far as '08 SDP rookie)
SS Horace Clarke (mostly 2B, played 65 games at SS; .256, 151 SB 1965-74)
3B Jerry Browne (UTIL played 155 games at 3B; .271, 1986-95)
OF Joe Christopher (.260, 1959-66; .300/16/76 with '64 NYM)
OF Midre Cummings (.257, parts of 1993-2005)
OF Henry Cruz (.229, 1975-78)
DH Jose Morales (1B/C/OF, DH 265 of 733 games, ,287, 1973-84)
RHP Al McBean (67-50, 63 saves, 3.13 ERA, 110 ERA+ 1961-70)

Elmo Plaskett (mostly C; one game at 3B; .200, 1962-63)

If McBean -- who once won 15 games in a season as a starter, then later had a 22-save-season as a reliever) can't go nine, well, starting catcher Hendricks had a career ERA of 0.00 (one game, 2.1 innings) with the '78 Orioles; Plaskett could catch in his place ... I'm not sure who would play where in the OF, but seem to recall Cummings could run, so maybe he's in CF? ... Another Horace Clarke sighting! Woohoo! ... Christopher had one really fine year for a really, really bad team, but didn't get to the Midsummer Classic as Ron Hunt became the first-ever Mets All-Star ...

So Bauxites, here's a challenge -- can you find another state, country or territory with so few players that still fill out a lineup card? Bonus points -- maybe even a No-Prize -- if you can give the team a legitimate nickname based on a Madonna song.