If Baseball Teams Were Actresses ...

Saturday, July 19 2008 @ 03:14 PM EDT

I ran across a celver joke on the Web earlier today, dealing with Australian Football (Rugby) League teams and thought I'd try to flip it for Major League Baseball. Let's see how we do and, please, feel free to suggest your own!

• NEW YORK YANKEES: JULIA ROBERTS
  Big in the 1990s but what has she done lately?
  

• DETROIT TIGERS: SARAH JESSICA PARKER
  Just when you thought you were finally safe ... she's back.
  

• BOSTON RED SOX: NAOMI CAMPBELL
  Struts around like a winner but behaves like a loser.
  

• ATLANTA BRAVES: SHARON STONE
  Once the hottest name in the 'biz, now just a fading force.
  

• PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: SCARLETT JOHANNSON
  Only recently has everyone realized how hot she really is.
  

• NEW YORK METS: LINDSAY LOHAN
  A miracle she is still alive.
  

• SEATTLE MARINERS: BRITNEY SPEARS
  Once had the world at her fingertips. Now can't even remember to wear her underwear in public.
  

• BALTIMORE ORIOLES: JANE FONDA
  A legend in the '60s and '70s but you wouldn't touch her in 2008.
  

• TEXAS RANGERS: CATE BLANCHETT
  Used to be boring but has become interesting again.
  

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