Post-Season Hardware: A Preview, With Snark

Tuesday, August 12 2008 @ 11:40 AM EDT

Contributed by: Magpie

Just over six weeks left. The battles for post-season positions are coming and the Blue Jays are right in the thick of it!

After all, they have many games to play against almost all the teams that actually have a legitimate chance to make it...

And with the end in sight, we may also divert ourselves by considering the hardware awards to come. I thought I'd give that a spin right here and now.

NL MVP
1. Albert Pujols - he still Da Man. And Den Some.
2. Lance Berkmann - he's got that whole "someone new to give the award to" thing going for him
3. Chipper Jones - still really great, but it would sure help if he didn't miss so many games. Don't say you didn't warn me. You did.

NL Cy Young
1. Brandon Webb - well, DUH
2. Tim Lincecum - hey, if the Jays offer Alex Rios in exchange for Lincecum this winter, do you think we'll have to wait very long to hear whether or not it's going to happen?
3. Johan Santana - mainly as consolation for the awful way his new bullpen has let him down. The man is probably writing letters to Joe Nathan right now that are of such touching, heart-broken content... Nathan may think he's got a stalker.

NL Rookie of the Year
1. Geovany Soto - he's eligible? Cool. Cause he's just fabulous.
2. Jair Jurrjens - I'd like to say Schuerholz pulls one last heist, and rides off into the sunset. Except this was actually the first move made by the new guy.
3. Kosuke Fukudome - okay, I guess

NL Manager of the Year
1. Fredi Gonzalez - weren't they supposed to lose, like, all of their games?
2. Ned Yost - the Brewers should win 90 games. The Brewers! My mind reels...
3. Lou Piniella - another year, another 90 wins. Only Tampa could resist his powers.

AL MVP
1. Ian Kinsler - aw, just for the hell of it. There's no chance that he'll actually win - the guy who drives him in has a much better chance.
2. Alex Rodriguez - alas, the Prancing Pony can play
3. Evan Longoria. Or J.D. Drew. Or Carlos Quentin. Or Hamilton.

AL Cy Young
1. Cliff Lee - sorry, but he's an easy pick.
2. Roy Halladay - he's been almost as good as Lee, but not quite. The fact that Lee is 16-2 for an inferior team...
3. I dunno. Joe Saunders? (K-Rod will receive many votes, but someone has to explain to me why he's a better pick than Joe Nathan.)

AL Rookie of the Year
1. Evan Longoria - again, DUH
2. David Murphy - not sure if he's actually eligible - just 127 ABs coming into the year, but he'd played in 66 games.
3. Armando Galarraga - will everyone who thought this guy would be Detroit's best pitcher please step forward? Thank you. "You are all a bunch of miserable liars."

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