You know, there are two professional sports teams in North America that inspire, concurrently, both the fiercest loyalty from their fans AND the greatest and most vehement abhorrence by, well, everyone else.
I have had the "privilege" to live in the media epicenter of both these teams; I live in North Texas -- moved here from New York 12 years ago -- where you can see the new Dallas Cowboys stadium being built from a window down the hall from my office. But where love/hate is concerned, Tony Romo is no Derek Jeter. Where controversial Hall of Fame talents are concerned, even recent 'Boy departure Terrell Owens is no Alex Rodriguez. Where Jerry Jones is secretly relieved that, as a meddlesome, loudmouthed owner, he is now being compared to Hank, not George Steinbrenner.
That's right, welcome to New York Yankees v.2009, where an entire borough is seeking an answer to the question, "What the hell is going on? Why haven't we won a World Series this entire century?"
Yes, kids, the Yankees' most recent title came in the year 2000, the final year of the 20th century. Oh, the Bombers have played in two Series since then, compiling a 5-8 game record and two series losses to the legendary baseball powerhouses that are the Arizona Diamondbacks in 2001 and the Florida Marlins in 2003. Since then, though? Nothing remotely Fall Classic-ish in the Bronx.
The Phillies won their first title since around 1776 last year. Geewhilikers, the Red Sox -- the Red Sox! -- have won TWO titles in the 21st century. It's Baseball Weirdness on a Twilight Zone scale for the Yankee faithful around North America -- and yes, they are still all around North America, living amongst you, interspersed among their Yankee-hating neighbors and "friends."
The Yankees have now gone eight consecutive seasons without winning a title, halfway to matching the 16-year drought from 1979-94, which in itself eclipsed the 14-year title-free string from 1963-76. To put that in perspective, the Yankee franchise had never before that gone more than three years without a title since winning its first ring in 1922.
So anyway, it's about *&^%$#@! time for the pinstriped baseballin' machine to salt away its 40th pennant and 27th World title. They've committed more than $200 million in payroll to that goal in 2009, and more than half a billion dollars in guaranteed contract dollars going forward overall. That's not to mention the cost of a new new Yankee Stadium, so now Joe and Jane Bronxresident can opt between buying tickets for a family night at the ballgame some summer's eve or paying to send Joe Jr. to Princeton for a year.
If the Yankees have the year they're paying to have -- and are, frankly, expecting -- then Joe Jr. can pack his bags for SUNY-Albany or SUNY-Binghamton; heck, if the answers to, say, two-thirds of the questions listed below go the Yankee way, J.J. might be headed to SUNY-Plattsburgh or even Clinton Community College in Plattsburgh.
Loyal Bauxites, you are hereby invited to share your thoughts on the answers to the below questions. Fair warning: given that most readers of this fine publication are in the "vehement abhorrence" category of Yankee follower mentioned earlier ... play nice!
New stadium, new managing partner. Does any of that matter?
The new Yankee Stadium, by all accounts, is awesome, and despite the insane price range for the tickets, will probably turn out to be a cash cow for the Yankees. "The House that George Built," though, will be inhabited most noticeably by Hank Steinbrenner, stepping into his father's shoes in ways that might not thrill many a player, while potentially making the careers of any number of Gotham media shills.
To say that Hank is trying to demonstrate he is like his father in bringing the Yankees championships might stir fond memories in pinstriped followers of the halcyon days of 1996-98-99; but if the Yankees fail to make the playoffs again, Hank might could call to mind another championship era, the 1977-78 Yankees of "straw who stirs the drink" and "one's a born liar, the other's convicted." If the back pages of the Post and the Daily News are plastered with photos of a blustering Hank in 2009, that's bad news for the Yankees.
We can't have a Yankee preview without obsessing about A-Rod, now can we?
Listen -- the guy's the best player in baseball. Yes, he's self-centered and a seemingly willing controversy magnet. Yes, he handled the steroids situation poorly. Yes, he's injured and will miss up to two months of the season (probably a little less than that). But he's one of the few players who can miss that amount of time and still be considered a reasonable MVP candidate. He might come back and hit 40 homers in 120 games, lead the Yanks to the post-season and earn those MVP votes. Certainly, it's also possible he comes back for 105 games, hits .240 with moderate power and lives every day hearing variations on the same steroid questions.
Regardless, what the game's highest-paid player really needs to do is focus on NOT being in Madonna's hotel room or with a high-priced call girl in Canada. (P.S. "Not being" is different from "Not being caught," Alex!) If he comes back from injury and is simply the best third baseman in baseball for four and a half months -- as he should be -- then the Yankees probably go to the post-season. Which raises a whole different set of A-Rod questions which we will not delve into at this time. New York media and bloggers alike are carefully tagging their season preview questions as "non-A-Rod questions" -- go ahead, Google it -- there are nearly 100 returns on that exact phrase.
While we wait for A-Rod to get healthified, your Yankee starting third baseman is one Cody Ransom. A .251 hitter in parts of six seasons, mostly with the Giants, Ransom is no Graig Nettles -- not even Mike Pagliarulo, really -- and the Yankees better hope his .302 showing with four homers in 43 at-bats in a brief Bronx fling last season is the real thing. But prior to that little run, he was a career .236 hitter with three homers in 140 at-bats, so caveat emptor, Bronxites.
Mark Teixeira?
Okay, everybody knew free agent Tex was going to end up in the AL East -- either in the money-falling-from-the-sky wonderlands of Boston or New York, or in his hometown of Baltimore. Did he make the right choice?
Well, he has a career batting average of .232 at Fenway Park, so that probably made Boston seem a little less favorable -- but think about it, do you really want to play for the Yankees with a reputation as a guy who can't hit in Boston? New York's bloggers and some mainstream media have started referring to the new Yankee first baseman by the obvious yet painful shortcut nickname "M-Tex" -- is this a nod to the big-money, big-offense, Texas-Ranger-roots commonalities he shares with the similarly-nicknamed A-Rod? Nah. Write it down -- Tex is a .280/35/110 guy who can do that anywhere he plays, and he will be the kind of first baseman the Yankees have lacked -- offensively and defensively , Mr. Giambi -- since Donnie Baseball retired at the age of 34. (Tex turns 29 in two weeks.) He may not reproduce the .301/43/144 line he put up for the 2005 Rangers, but this free agent signing is one nobody in the Bronx will regret.
Is the Yankee rotation really all that?
You have to admit, a five-man front of C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Chien-Ming Wang, Andy Pettitte and Joba Chamberlain, on paper, could work out to be the best rotation in the major leagues. (Given the questions about the lineup, it had better be close.) But each and every one of those five starters carries at least one Huge, Looming Question. To wit:
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