When we last left Slaugtergarde, the baseball fantasy league where all the statistics are fake, the league had a disastrous draft and then fell apart due to rampant, uncontested cheating. Friends, I agonized for a long time about how to modify the rules to reward ingenuity while preventing cheating, and I came up with a brilliant plan: this time, there will be no rules.
NFH, you ask, how will you enact this brilliant plan when we are only days away from the end of baseball season? Well, friends, thatís easy: I will beta-test my brilliant plan during hockey season.
Of course, hockey presents its own set of challenges for Slaughtergarde. Sure, hockey players have moustaches, but the statistical measures we used to determine the Moustache Quality of a baseball player do not apply to hockey. And so the entire scoring system of Slaughtergarde has been thrown out and replaced with something much worse.
Yes yes, I hear you saying, but what was this brilliant plan about not having rules? Oh, right, my brilliant plan. I assure you, itís brilliant. A lot of fantasy sport revolves around your roster: managing how many players you have, who starts, who is on your bench, who you add and drop. Slaughtergarde will dispense with all of these things: there are no rules around roster construction. You want 29 goalies? Go ahead! You want to put a defenceman in as a centre? Feel free! You want 99 players on your roster? Knock yourself out. There is one limitation, but itís less of a rule and more of a missing feature: there is no bench. The danger of this, of course, is that two thirds of the NHL player pool are so good that they will score you negative points. I have considered a plan where I draft and play only Cory Schneider to see if he can defeat the whole league by himself.
There are about six spots remaining, and our patented Scramble Draft (20% faster for 2015!) will happen on Tuesday night. Click here to join us.