Sent to me by Jobu, here's his wrapup of the ejection pool:
Is there any better birthday gift I could recieve today?
First, as you all know by now, the Red Sox embarass the Merc's and dance on the "ghosts" over their home field. Then, I'm part of winning TEAM UNDER in the ejection pool, which in terms of contest, is a close second to Prof Mo' Phatt's nobel prize and NFH's fan of the game. Then I get to spend this morning "searching" for "ex-wife" photos, a more pleasurable task I can not think of.....aside from watching me play drums with the Beach Boys on Full H re-runs. And then tonight, aside from the massive amounts of drinking, I am treated to yet another game 7. Gentlemen, welcome to flavour country.
But as I said, I was part of a winning team, so as promised, here are the mighty prizes for those brilliant soothsayers who fought off adversity to vote UNDER. Of course, having survived seven games, slap-gate, and the gestapo occupation of Yankee field, one prize is not enough for you noble creatures, so I have doubled your reward because helping people is what Uncle Jesse's all about (a bonus prize to whomever picks up that cartoon reference).
Below you will find the links, clearly labeled, which guide you to your chosen path in life. I thought long and hard of how I could ensure only the winners feasted on the victory pictures, and then finally, like a newly built jail, settled on the honour system. "You're ruining it for the rest of us!". The following people (plus NFH and Mr. Wilner) may proceed to links one and two:
Under:
Me ("I love Elvis and Beach Boys. Check out my hair")
Prof. Mophatt
Mike D
Paul D
Magpie (The chill from the Schil)
Jeff "I've never met Ilkka Sinisalo" Geauvreau
Rob (The John Wasdin of MVP pitching)
Wayne "Jobu Can't See Me" H
DGriebeling (Care Bear STARE!!!)
Jason "Dont call me rebar" Robar
Keith "I have marginal" Talent
"I'll sue you if you mention me" Lucas
Jim "The Bad Guy" TBG
Thomas (I can't post on time)
1. Winners may travel to my FTP site to claim their prize here
2. Then winners may claim their secondary prize here
But fear not misguided ones. For there are no losers in Jomerica, only people who did not perform as well as the winners. And because of your valient effort to throw yourself into the pool, I have prepared an equally enticing prize for you all to enjoy. The following people will find solace in link 3:
Over:
Donkit R.K.
Jack Foley
Dr. Zarco
6-4-3 (Tanyon "I'm over achieving" Sturtze)
Wunderbat (via satelite phone)
Dan (Pedro "Lambada: The Forbidden Dance" Martinez)
Tassle (Fan "interference")
Flyin' Ryan Lind
Emerald "I can be purchased on the shopping channel"
Reidmar the Mediocre (Do you remember Beakmans' World?)
Dave "Harry Heck" Till
A (my name is too short to do anything fun with)
Craig "Everybody look at your hands" B
Johnny "The bad guy in 80s movies is always" German
Geoff "That is too say Jeff" North
He Grimlock
3. Losers may claim their consolation prize here
Which brings me to the final contingent, those of you who have broken the honour system and cheated. SHAME ON YOU!!! . Was not the embarassment of A-Rod enough to prove that slappers and cheaters never prosper!?!? There is only one punishment fit for you dregs, a picture that sums up everything you deserve.... a picture that one of my loser friends sent me when he was pissed off and I laughed for ages. Cheaters can claim their punishment on link 4 to try and clense their rotten souls.
4. Cheaters get what they deserve here
You may go forth and multiply now. Thank you for your time. World Series ejection pool value is set at 0.5 with an as yet determined prize. Pending winner of tonights game I will accept entires for the new pool which will undoubtly be a let down compared to the magnificence we viewed this week, so I better find a kick ass prize.
Jack Torrance....I mean Jobu.
https://www.battersbox.ca/article.php?story=20041021042631999
