Batter's Box Interactive Magazine Batter's Box Interactive Magazine Batter's Box Interactive Magazine
Sent to me by Jobu, here's his wrapup of the ejection pool:

Is there any better birthday gift I could recieve today?

First, as you all know by now, the Red Sox embarass the Merc's and dance on the "ghosts" over their home field. Then, I'm part of winning TEAM UNDER in the ejection pool, which in terms of contest, is a close second to Prof Mo' Phatt's nobel prize and NFH's fan of the game. Then I get to spend this morning "searching" for "ex-wife" photos, a more pleasurable task I can not think of.....aside from watching me play drums with the Beach Boys on Full H re-runs. And then tonight, aside from the massive amounts of drinking, I am treated to yet another game 7. Gentlemen, welcome to flavour country.

But as I said, I was part of a winning team, so as promised, here are the mighty prizes for those brilliant soothsayers who fought off adversity to vote UNDER. Of course, having survived seven games, slap-gate, and the gestapo occupation of Yankee field, one prize is not enough for you noble creatures, so I have doubled your reward because helping people is what Uncle Jesse's all about (a bonus prize to whomever picks up that cartoon reference).

Below you will find the links, clearly labeled, which guide you to your chosen path in life. I thought long and hard of how I could ensure only the winners feasted on the victory pictures, and then finally, like a newly built jail, settled on the honour system. "You're ruining it for the rest of us!". The following people (plus NFH and Mr. Wilner) may proceed to links one and two:
Me ("I love Elvis and Beach Boys. Check out my hair")
Prof. Mophatt
Mike D
Paul D
Magpie (The chill from the Schil)
Jeff "I've never met Ilkka Sinisalo" Geauvreau
Rob (The John Wasdin of MVP pitching)
Wayne "Jobu Can't See Me" H
DGriebeling (Care Bear STARE!!!)
Jason "Dont call me rebar" Robar
Keith "I have marginal" Talent
"I'll sue you if you mention me" Lucas
Jim "The Bad Guy" TBG
Thomas (I can't post on time)

1. Winners may travel to my FTP site to claim their prize here
2. Then winners may claim their secondary prize here

But fear not misguided ones. For there are no losers in Jomerica, only people who did not perform as well as the winners. And because of your valient effort to throw yourself into the pool, I have prepared an equally enticing prize for you all to enjoy. The following people will find solace in link 3:

Donkit R.K.
Jack Foley
Dr. Zarco
6-4-3 (Tanyon "I'm over achieving" Sturtze)
Wunderbat (via satelite phone)
Dan (Pedro "Lambada: The Forbidden Dance" Martinez)
Tassle (Fan "interference")
Flyin' Ryan Lind
Emerald "I can be purchased on the shopping channel"
Reidmar the Mediocre (Do you remember Beakmans' World?)
Dave "Harry Heck" Till
A (my name is too short to do anything fun with)
Craig "Everybody look at your hands" B
Johnny "The bad guy in 80s movies is always" German
Geoff "That is too say Jeff" North
He Grimlock
3. Losers may claim their consolation prize here

Which brings me to the final contingent, those of you who have broken the honour system and cheated. SHAME ON YOU!!! . Was not the embarassment of A-Rod enough to prove that slappers and cheaters never prosper!?!? There is only one punishment fit for you dregs, a picture that sums up everything you deserve.... a picture that one of my loser friends sent me when he was pissed off and I laughed for ages. Cheaters can claim their punishment on link 4 to try and clense their rotten souls.

4. Cheaters get what they deserve here

You may go forth and multiply now. Thank you for your time. World Series ejection pool value is set at 0.5 with an as yet determined prize. Pending winner of tonights game I will accept entires for the new pool which will undoubtly be a let down compared to the magnificence we viewed this week, so I better find a kick ass prize.
Jack Torrance....I mean Jobu.
The Ejection Pool Winners | 53 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 05:59 PM EDT (#22685) #
Geez, I leave for fourty minutes to get a coffee (I only enjoy a very particular, far from my house Tim Hortons) and I come back and everyone's yelling at each other?

Can't we all just enjoy some prizes and get along?
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 07:00 PM EDT (#22686) #
Did anyone claim their prizes yet? I want to make a checklist of who did and didnt so I can bug them later.

helping people is what Uncle Jesse's all about

Seriously, if anyone can name the obscure cartoon that's from, you'll be my hero.
Craig B - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 07:02 PM EDT (#22687) #
Oh, Jobu, that was brilliant.

I stole the winners' prizes? Does that make me a cheater as well?

If so, I'm a very happy one.
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 07:04 PM EDT (#22688) #
Very good, I can check off Craig's name.

And yes, it makes you a dirty dirty cheat. May the cheaters link serve you justice :)
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 07:38 PM EDT (#22689) #
Rob is also recieved his prize. About 20 to go ;)
_braden - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 08:20 PM EDT (#22690) #
My mom says I'm a winner. Can I look?
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 08:27 PM EDT (#22691) #
Yes Braden you may, but to be fair to others you have to force yourself to open the cheater link.
_Wayne H. - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 08:37 PM EDT (#22692) #
I just want to thank Jobu for having so many ex-wives to share with us.
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 08:40 PM EDT (#22693) #
It's the same person in both pictures....

You guys really should learn more about the incredible John Stamos.
_Wayne H. - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 08:58 PM EDT (#22694) #
I watched Rollerball.

That should get me extra points, right?
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 09:05 PM EDT (#22695) #
I suppose it might, but whomever gets the Stamos cartoon challange gets REAL bonus points.
_Wayne H. - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 09:18 PM EDT (#22696) #
As long as the losers don't have to watch Stamos in reruns of Full House and General Hospital.
_Jeff Geauvreau - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 09:49 PM EDT (#22697) #
I claimed my 2 prizes , wow I think that is first time my soldier came to life in a long time.

Jobu , why did she divorce you.

Losers prize was pretty mean , jeez Tom Arnold.

Cheaters link is hilarious.
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 09:57 PM EDT (#22698) #
I believe this thread will answer your questions.
_Jeff Geauvreau - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 10:00 PM EDT (#22699) #
Yeah Jobu , I remember that thread. That was funny stuff between you and Moffat.
_Jobu - Thursday, October 21 2004 @ 10:01 PM EDT (#22700) #
Between you and me I think he was jealous. But don't let him know ;)
_Ryan Lind - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 12:26 AM EDT (#22701) #
I clicked on all four.

And I enjoyed all four. I mean, uh...
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 12:50 AM EDT (#22702) #
You guys are making a mockery of the honour system!
_Magpie - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:13 AM EDT (#22703) #
Jobu, you want something done about that John Stamos guy? I know some people. Take care of that problem once and for all. Least I can do....
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:15 AM EDT (#22704) #
Well....not right now, I'm trying to work my way through the three disks of Steven King's version of the shining with beer and popcorn. Gonna be a long night, maybe tomorrow. Did you enjoy your prize?
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 02:54 AM EDT (#22705) #
Ahhh damnit. Did they have to change SO much?
Named For Hank - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 09:46 AM EDT (#22706) #
You guys are making a mockery of the honour system!

I believe I will adopt this as my personal motto.

Jobu, are you asking why Stephen King changed so many things from Kubrick's take on King's book?

I didn't see all of the Shining remake (it was televised as a miniseries and I watched I think just the first two-hour chunk and was bored silly), but as both a big Stephen King and Stanley Kubrick fan I think both movies of the Shining are failures.
Craig B - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 10:32 AM EDT (#22707) #
as both a big Stephen King and Stanley Kubrick fan I think both movies of the Shining are failures


You got bigger problems than the honour system, bucko.
Named For Hank - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 10:52 AM EDT (#22708) #
Come on, the book kicks the ass of either movie so bad that the movies should huddle together in a corner and cry.

There are isolated moments of brilliance in the Kubrick film, but overall it's bad. Stanley was pretty reliable, but I'd count The Shining (and Full Metal Jacket) as a mis-step.
Craig B - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 11:42 AM EDT (#22709) #
the book kicks the ass of either movie so bad

King is a hack.
Named For Hank - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 11:55 AM EDT (#22710) #
What have you read? I'd say he runs about 50-50 between programmer books and truly great work.
_Moffatt - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 12:08 PM EDT (#22711) #
Bah. The problem with fiction is that it's all made up (hence the term "fictional"). If I want to pay money to be lied to, I'll hire an escort.
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 12:44 PM EDT (#22712) #
Im talking about just the changes from his book (which I just finished reading yesterday so it was very fresh in my mind) and HIS mini series. They changed so many things it annoyed me as I expecting a very literal translation! Not to mention they pg-13'd the whole damn thing.
Craig B - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:02 PM EDT (#22713) #
What have you read?

I don't remember - I haven't read any Stephen King in 15 years. Let me try to remember (my sister was a King nut, so there were always lots of his books around the house).

Christine - which was hack work, but very good hack work. This was fun, and you can't ask anything more out of a mass-market book than for it to be fun.

The Stand - the palest pastiche of Farnham's Freehold (not a good book in itself) that I could ever imagine. I don't think I read all of this. Nothing is so snoozifying as hack work that takes itself seriously.

It - Bored me to tears and I put it down.

And there was a collection of stories that I read, including the Shawshank Redemption story. I remember almost nothing about it, except the Shawshank Redemption story, which was certainly able.
Craig B - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:04 PM EDT (#22714) #
By the way, I'll take back "King is a hack". King is just a man, and a writer. Calling him a hack, just because he produces hack work, is unfair to him.
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:08 PM EDT (#22715) #
All I've read is the Shining and some of Night Shift, and while I found some of Night Shift quite hackney, the Shining still blows my mind.
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:17 PM EDT (#22716) #
Did anyone else claim their prizes over the night? I'm looking at you west coast.
Craig B - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:25 PM EDT (#22717) #
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 01:31 PM EDT (#22718) #
I am, for once, speechless.
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 02:20 PM EDT (#22719) #
I enjoy how the pool prize thread degraded into the Stephen King thread, degraded into the general entertainment thread.
Craig B - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 02:40 PM EDT (#22720) #
Whoops! I meant to post that in the Roundup.
_Spicol - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 02:53 PM EDT (#22721) #
You guys really should learn more about the incredible John Stamos.

It's all here.

Fact 25) Uncle Jesse never rewinds video tapes he rents from Blockbuster. There is nothing they can do about it.
_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 04:04 PM EDT (#22722) #

_Jobu - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 04:37 PM EDT (#22723) #
Fact 16) Uncle Jesse once bowled a 374.
_Paul D - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 05:13 PM EDT (#22724) #
Bah. The problem with fiction is that it's all made up (hence the term "fictional").

I have an old roomate who thought liked that. We both read all the time, but I read no non fiction, and he read no fiction, so we never had anything to talk about. We'd try to recommend things to each other, but we'd mostly just listen politely to the other person and then ignore their ideas.

I've been trying to work in some non fiction into my reading, and it's mostly involved baseball books.

Do you like movies?
_braden - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 05:36 PM EDT (#22725) #
holy crap!

That site is amazing. Screw Batter's Box, I'm starting my day with Uncle Jesse from now on.

Uncle Jesse doesn't pay for the vowels he buys on "Wheel of Fortune"
_Moffatt - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 06:15 PM EDT (#22726) #
I was being sarcastic Paul D. I don't really think like that. :)
_Paul D - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 07:16 PM EDT (#22727) #
Oh, okay. Now I feel silly.

It was believable because I have the above mentioned friend who felt like you do.
_Matthew E - Friday, October 22 2004 @ 09:52 PM EDT (#22728) #
The problem with fiction is that it's all made up (hence the term "fictional"). If I want to pay money to be lied to, I'll hire an escort.

I know a guy who only reads (and not often) business books. 'Secrets of Managing' and stuff like that. He explains, "I only read stuff that's gonna do me good." I've tried to tell him that good fiction does 'do you good', but he wasn't buying. One of the results of this is that his critical faculties for dealing with books are quite underdeveloped and he ends up believing everything he reads.

(I'm not saying 'therefore you're like that guy'. I just thought I'd tell the story.)
_Jobu - Saturday, October 23 2004 @ 03:16 AM EDT (#22729) #
Uncle Jesse is now in direct competition with Batter's Box. I spent an hour and half today just re-reading it.
_Jobu - Saturday, October 23 2004 @ 03:45 AM EDT (#22730) #
One of many tear enducing entries in the Uncle Jessie Diaries:

April 3, 1003--

Dear Diary,

Today I was playing my Gameboy Advance when I realized that I was sweeter than everyone in the entire world. I ate some quiche and went downstairs where I found Nicky and Alex pooping all over the living room. I took the poop and rubbed it in Danny Tanner's eyes. He really didn't fight back, cause he's a big wuss and he is afraid of baby poop. I worked out on my BOW-FLEX and my NORDICTRAC, and I checked myself out in the mirror. My pecs were friggin' ginormus. After I worked out, I put on my pants and hopped on my hog and rode down to I.H.O.P. where I enjoyed some delectable "Stuffed French Toast." Then, I went to Tijuana, where I partied with SNOW and INXS. They were pretty sweet, but not as sweet as me. We went to a karaoke bar and sang "BOOMBASTIC" and "POWER OF LOVE." When we tried to cross the border to come back to the states, the federales gave us crap. So, I beat them up and took over Mexico. Now, its mine. I'm gonna change the name of Mexico to "Judge Dredd comes here to party." That should elevate the tourism industry like crazy. I came back late, and drunk, and Becky pleaded with me to stop partying. I looked at her, deep in the eyes, and reminded her that she was lucky to be married to me...err, rather, lucky that I LET her be married to me. She apologized for being retarded and made me some beef jerky. I ate it, and she did the dishes. Then I went to bed while she knitted me socks.

Your Friend,
Uncle Jesse
_Spicol - Saturday, October 23 2004 @ 08:36 AM EDT (#22731) #
I'm really sorry everybody.
_Jobu - Saturday, October 23 2004 @ 11:43 AM EDT (#22732) #
Sorry!? You're my hero!
_Matthew E - Saturday, October 23 2004 @ 11:53 AM EDT (#22733) #
The Uncle Jesse site kind of reminds me of this other site (COMN).
_Jobu - Sunday, October 24 2004 @ 03:44 AM EDT (#22734) #
Common, that's got nothing on UNCLE JESSE! He's just too sweet. OH HAVE MERCY!!!
_Jobu - Monday, October 25 2004 @ 02:28 AM EDT (#22735) #
Wow, this site really grinds to a halt around 3am everynight. I would have figured the west coast would have kept it afloat till morning.
_Jobu - Tuesday, October 26 2004 @ 03:29 PM EDT (#22736) #
Just checking. So every one got their prizes right?
_Jobu - Thursday, October 28 2004 @ 11:38 AM EDT (#22737) #
Damn, none of you pop culture freaks got my cartoon refernce. I guess that's why the show was canceled last year,it appears I was the only one watching it.
The Ejection Pool Winners | 53 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.