Reader Challenge: Beat Boof's VORN

Tuesday, September 19 2006 @ 11:57 AM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

Eric Neel over at has this gem today:

Boof Bonser. It doesn't hurt that he has posted a sub-4 ERA and a handful of wins since coming back from Triple-A, but even if he threw grapefruits in batting practice, he'd be worth it. If we had a metric for names -- say, VORN (value over replacement name) -- and that metric took into account how much fun the name is to say (both at home and away), and how the name somehow managed to be worthy of both ridicule and respect at the same time, and how the name used alliteration to good effect -- Boof Bonser would score roughly 82.7 on that metric, putting him head and shoulders above his next nearest competitor, Coco Crisp of the Red Sox at 63.9.

Which leads to this obvious challenge ... What major leaguer, active, retired, whatever ... has had the highest career VORN? (Basically, whose name has been the most fun to say?)

Bonser and Crisp are on the table -- that sounds like a mid-summer's picnic menu -- so who else gets the nod? Nicknames are welcome (like "Boof' obviously) but given names are even better. Alliteration optional (say that three times fast). Bring it on, Bauxites!