Jesus, what a team!

Monday, August 08 2011 @ 03:10 PM EDT

Contributed by: Mick Doherty

So for almost a week now, Batter’s Box has proudly displayed a feature thread entitled, The Messiah Is Coming.

That got me thinking, though “Jesus” (pronounced, “gee, zuss”) is probably not an appropriate nickname for the lad, there have been an awful lot of major leaguers in the past and present who bore the given first or middle name “Jesus” (pronounced, ironically, “Hey, Zeus”) – in fact, more than 40 such men have played the Great Game, and that’s more than enough to cobble (er, carpenter?) together a viable Hall of Names squad.

It’s a pretty good team, though the pitching is weak and there is, sadly, no bona fide closer (so no opportunity for a genuine “Jesus Saves” pun).  We do have a manager and All-Stars (almost) all the way around the infield, as you’ll see when you meet ....

The Nazareth Carpenters

** indicates Hall of Fame (none yet)

* indicates All-Star

MGR Fredi Jesus Gonzalez

LINEUP
C Manuel de Jesus "Manny" Sanguillen*
1B Victor Jesus Martinez*
2B Jesus Manuel Marcano "Manny" Trillo*
SS Ivan de Jesus
3B Carlos Jesus Garcia*
LF Jesus Manuel "Bombo" Rivera
CF Endy de Jesus Chavez
RF Jesus Maria Rojas Alou
DH Jesus Manuel "Chucho" Ramos

BENCH
C  Eliezer Jesus Alfonzo (still active)
3B/2B Willy Del Jesus Aybar
SS/2B/3B Jesus Maria (Andujar)"Pepe" Frias
2B/3B/1B Miguel Jesus Cairo
IF Luis Rene (de Jesus) Alicea
OF Manuel (de Jesus) "Manny" Martinez

PITCHING STAFF
LHSP Omar Jesus Daal
RHSP Jose Luis de Jesus
LHSP Jesus Paulino Sanchez (23 wins)
RHSP Jorge Jesus Rubio

CL-RH Jesus Colome
LHRP Alexander Jesus (Matos) Torres ('11 TBR rookie)
RHRP Jesus Patracis "Charlie" Cuellar
LHRP Jesus Pena
RHRP Jesus Rafael Hernaiz
RHRP Frank Jesus Mata

CHRIST, THESE GUYS DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE TEAM?
OF Jesus Manuel Orlando Alvarez
OF Jesus Maria Figueroa
1B Jesus Antonio Guzman
PH OF Alexis de Jesus Gomez
C Orlando de Jesus McFarlane
IF Manuel de Jesus "Manny" Alexander
3B/OF Gabriel de Jesus Alvarez
3B Leonardo Jesus "Leo" Hernandez
OF Jesus Feliciano
C Jesus Miguel Flores
IF Jesus Jesse Garcia
OF Jesus Fernando Martinez
IF Gregorio Jesus Petit
OF Leopoldo Jesus "Leo" Posada
OF Jesus Rafael Tavarez
DH/1B Jesus Anthony Vega
RHRP Jesus Andres Delgado
RHRP Lester Jesus Oliveros

And a few “epistles” … Who’s that DH? WWII fill-in Jesus Manuel "Chucho" Ramos posted a career .500 batting average (5-for-10) and a career 214 OPS+, so he noses out Jesus de la Rosa, who managed a career1.000 OPS in just three at-bats … That’s right, this lineup representing such a proud given name, contains three players who go/went by Chucho, Bombo and Endy … Manny Alexander would be a great addition to the bench, but we already have Frias, Cairo and Alicea, and all four of those guys fill the same role … Our 25-man roster has room for just 10 pitchers – how retro! – so apologies to Delgado and Oliveros … Daal has worked out of the bullpen as much as he has started, but may be this club’s ace, regardless … There are only four guys whose big league experience even HINTS at “rotation member” so well go with them and mix-and-match the bullpen as best we can …

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