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You may recall (or not) that when "Baseball's Hall of Names" debuted on Da Box about a year and a half ago, the historical background on the concept dated back to the 1970s when my dad and I would try to come up with a "All-Food Team," a task handled with true gastrointestinal fortitude here by Bauxites in March 2003.

So now we turn to you again, Bauxites ... help us fill out the All-Baseball-Terms team on today, which is (not coindidentally),dear ol' dad's birthday. The only real difference between developing this one and the old All-Food efforts are that instead of "Hey, what about Bob Lemon?" exchanges in -- naturally -- the dining room, this team developed over e-mail; and, of course, there is a different set of ground rules.

By Mick Doherty v.1.0
as told to
Mick Doherty v.2.0

So Happy Birthday, pops -- speaking of which, we'll have to get to the All-October-Birthdays team here pretty soon, likely to be anchored in centerfield by another New York Mick born on October 20.

So what is the "All-Baseball-Terms Team"? Simple -- if the player's name is some form of a term used in the game (think "Bob Walk," for instance), then he is eligible for the team. Try not to stretch credulity -- sure, when an outfielder slams into the ((Donne) Wall, you might hear that he got his (Buddy) Bell rung, but while Wall is at least arguably a baseball term, Bell doesn't make the cut -- or should we say, doesn't quite "ring true."

The one (extended) rule in player selection: No repeat names. Though it might be nice to have the Toy Cannon in an outfield backing a guy who racked up 300 wins -- literally, it seems like a Wynn/Wynn situation all the way around -- no dice by this rule.

Also, to tighten up dad's original rules just a bit ... we will only accept last/family names (sorry, Homers of the world) and certainly no nicknames -- that's too easy. Besides, why settle for Dick "Dr. Strangeglove" Stuart when you can have the real thing in Gary Glover? In the same spirit, we'll try to avoid using duplicate baseball terms even if the names are slightly different; you want All-Star catcher Earl Battey on the team? Too bad ... he's trumped by a slightly less accomplished catcher named Matt Batts. Why Batts? His name is closer to the actual term; that also means the aforementioned Mr. Walk trumps the seven All-Star players in MLB history named "Walker," including Canadian hero Larry.

But don't worry, Batts won't get off the bench much -- for exactly that reason. Bench. Johnny Bench. Pretty nice way to start a squad, huh? A Hall of Fame battery -- Early Wynn and Johnny Bench.

One rule dad tried to introduce that I admit I ignored -- the first time in my entire life I ignored one of his rules, really! -- was his explanation that "the player's actual position [was] only a minor consideration." That is, the how the player's name sounded mattered more. For example, former All-Star pitcher Chris Short, who brings four 17+ win seasons to this team, would have found himself, with his career batting average of .126, relegated to the middle infield.

Yeah, we didn't do that.

After all, then Bench never actually would have gotten out of the dugout, and Ryan Minor never could have made it out of camp to go north with the big club. And that, Bauxites. is the first (and probably last) time in recorded history that Ryan Minor has been compared to Johnny Bench; for that matter, except for the fact that Bench was born in Oklahomaa and Minor went to college at OU and Minor was born in Ohio and Bench played in Cincinnati, that is probably how it should be.

Now, back to the business at hand.

Bench behind the plate isn't even the biggest (literally) slugger on the team. Just 90 feet up the basepaths, our cleanup hitter -- and one of the few ballplayers who can make David Ortiz look malnourished -- is Big Daddy, Cecil Fielder. (Speaking of big boys, is there a place for Calvin "Pick"ering on this team? Actually. Big Cec will probably end up at DH.

Say, maybe Homer Bush could make this team based on his last name ... but no, we like the idea of helping to fill out the pitching staff with a couple of 2004 Blue Jay rooks, David Bush and Brandon League. That's just too obvious.

Anyway, you get the idea ...

So, the pitching staff is already coming together, with a bunch of guys who believe anything Short of a Wynn would be Bush League; and though we've never included a minor (not Ryan) leaguer on a Hall of Names team previously, how can you ignore Texas Rangers uber-prospect Thomas Diamond? Hey, how about seven additional former or current All-Stars backing the Hall of Famer on this pitching staff?

The bullpen is deep -- that really just speaks to how many fringe players with all sorts of names have made the majors-- but the rest of the team is shallow, at best. I kept finding all sort of backup catchers and failed first basemen, not listed below. Surely, you Bauxites can do better?

*indicates former All-Star
**indicates Hall of Famer

SP Early Wynn**
SP Chris Short*
SP Herb Score*
SP Ken Hill*
SP Jim BAGby Jr.*
SP Chan Ho Park*
SP Bob Walk*
SP David Bush
SP Jay Hook
SP Thomas Diamond
CL Sorry, could't bring myself to use Keith FOULke*
RP Donne Wall
RP Dick "Foul" Pole
RP Paul SWINGle (We need to team this guy with 2B/SS John Misse ("Swingle and Misse")
RP Bill Popp
RP Roy Hitt
RP Bill "Give him uniform #1" Hopper

C Johnny Bench**
1B Vic Power*
2B Jake Wood (Sorry Kerry, Sorry Wilbur ... we need a 2B)
SS Bob SAVErine
3B Ryan Minor
OF Josh Bunce (pronounced "Bunts")
OF Dave Pickett
OF So TAGuchi
OF Ray Pepper
OF Pete RUNnels*
DH Cecil Fielder*

Our manager, Hans LOBert, compiled a career mark of 42-111 with the WWII-era Phillies. Although, if we go back to not considering actual position, you'd have to think former Angels utilityman Pete Coachman would make a fine skipper for this squad.

Finally, a propos of nothing, really, in the course of research, we learned that, according to thes search function of, anyway, there has never been a major leaguer with the string of letters C-R-Y in his name, proving once again the old adage ... "there's no crying in baseball!"

Surely, Boxers, you can do better ... give my dear ol' dad the gift of your creativity and wish him a Happy Birthday by finding more All-Stars for this Terms Team.

Pinch-Hit Hall of Names: All-Baseball-Terms | 20 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
_DGriebeling - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 11:42 AM EDT (#25109) #
Any interest in signing Danny TARtabul? Former All-star OF?
_Mick - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 11:47 AM EDT (#25110) #
I assume TARtabull is destined to room with Joel PINEiro?
_DGriebeling - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 11:49 AM EDT (#25111) #
And I personally would prefer to have Jesse Barfield than Cecil Fielder.... but that's just me.
_Matthew E - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 12:18 PM EDT (#25112) #
Gotta have Grant Balfour.
_Jordan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 01:02 PM EDT (#25113) #
Is there no place for Dizzy TrOUT?
_Mick - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 01:04 PM EDT (#25114) #
Matthew, Balfour is genius. Jordan, I don't think we even had Trout on our All-Food team! (Doh!)
_Nolan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 01:52 PM EDT (#25115) #
A few suggestions that seem to be right on the line on whether they qualify:

Jeff BAGwell
Miguel or Tony BATista
Travis DiSKILL
Bob FILE (in keeping with the cheating theme of the Round-Up thread)
Would Gary ShefFIELD make it?

Some of these are pretty bad, but I'm thinking Bagwell would look pretty good at first
Mike Green - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 01:53 PM EDT (#25116) #
Ken Singleton?
_Tenobia - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 02:26 PM EDT (#25117) #
I don't think it meets the criteria exactly, but I love this name for a ball player...Carlos BELT RAN
_Cristian - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 02:41 PM EDT (#25118) #
How about my favorite pitcher:

Eric Plunk
_Nolan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 02:45 PM EDT (#25119) #
Man, some of these are....well, UGH. But oh well, I'm having fun:

Stan HACK (3B)
Craoker Triplett (OF)
Would Bill STAFFord fit on our *groan* staff?
Ken Singleton (OF)
Jim PALMer (palmball)(p)
Ray sCHALK "line" as Bench's backup?
Roger "Around the" HORNsby? (2B)
If FOULke doesn't work, does that mean neither does Ron FAIRly (1B-OF)
_Mick - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 03:21 PM EDT (#25120) #
Nolan, You are absolutely on (Steve) FIREovid.

And hey, if I can have "Swingle and Misse," I'd think you'd be permitted FOULke andFAIRly as well as SINGLEton and TRIPLEtt. And while there's no "Double" to mention, we can go to Jim Bagby Sr. and Jim Bagby Jr. and call themour two-BAGby-er, I guess ...
Mike Green - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 03:26 PM EDT (#25121) #
Jeff BALL had a sip of coffee.
_Stan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 04:37 PM EDT (#25122) #
Charlie Spikes
Horace Speed
_Stan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 04:38 PM EDT (#25123) #
Paul Splittoroff
_Stan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 04:40 PM EDT (#25124) #
Scratch Splitteroff
_Stan - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 04:45 PM EDT (#25125) #
Jim Fanning who had more strikeouts than hits
_Willy - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 05:51 PM EDT (#25126) #
Have I missed HOMER Bush somewhere here? Or Abner DOUBLEday?
_Mick - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 06:24 PM EDT (#25127) #
Actually, yes -- Homer Bush is mentioned twice in the main story,once dismissing his first name by rule, but squeezing him in for his last name(though we went with David instead) ...Doubleday is good,with the unfortunate exception that he never played the game, at least professionally.
_Willy - Wednesday, October 20 2004 @ 07:35 PM EDT (#25128) #
Oops. Sorry about Homer.
Pinch-Hit Hall of Names: All-Baseball-Terms | 20 comments | Create New Account
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