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Some time last week, Magpie managed to work the "immortal Jean-Luc Picard" into the lede for one of the final official Game Threads. If you don't know -- well, first, shame on you -- Picard is the captain of the starship Enterprise-D from the mid-1980's TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Given that Mags posted that thread on the same day the WB network announced with finality that Enterprise, the current iteration of Star Trek, would not return next season, it got me to thinking ... could we combine the two great geek passions of my life, Baseball's Hall of Names and science fiction (specifically in this case Star Trek) to come up with an All-Trek lineup?

Even though nobody named "Picard" has ever played major leage ball, with FIVE series and something like forty-six movies in the can, we ought to be able to field a pretty, um, stellar (har!) team. Warp factor nine, Mr. Magpie. Engage!

The rules for building this team: we will focus on leading characters in the shows and movies and fill in with supporting characters as necessary. We will use character's family names (not "last" names, as I'm sure you're all aware that cultures such as those on Bajor put the family name first and the given name last, as with Major Kira Nerys of Deep Space Nine).

Many of the key alien players have, shall we say, unusal spellings to their names, so we allow for some leeway there. However, no first names as last names (sorry, Kirk Gibson); and ironically enough, no fictional characters (sorry, Kevin Costner as perfect game pitcher Billy "Nurse" Chapel); no almost-but not quites (go away, Doug "not quite captain" Sisk); and as tempting as it may be, no random Star Trek words that aren't names (we have other catchers, Glenn Borgmann). So let's see how this goes.

Players are listed by actual major league position with their Star Trek character equivalent named parenthetically.

Character Key:
TOS: Star Trek, The Original Series
TNG: Star Trek: The Next Generation
DS9: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
STV: Star Trek: Voyager
STE: Enterprise
ST1, ST2, et cetera: indicates movie by release

Player Key:
* indicates All-Star
** indicates Hall of Famer

MGR/C Mickey COCHRANE** (STVII warp drive inventor Zefram Cochrane)
1B Buck LEONARD** (STE Admiral Daniel Leonard)
2B Benny MCCOY (.271, 1938-41; TOS Doctor McCoy)
SS Don KESsinger* (STV Ocampan hitchhiker Kes)
3B Kelly PARIS (1982-88; STV helmsman Tom Paris)
LF Thurman TUCKER* (WWII All-Star for '44 CHW; STE chief engineer "Trip" Tucker)
CF Max CAREY** (2664 hits; original STV chief engineer Joe Carey, RIP)
RF Kal DANIELS (.285, 1986-92; STE Temporal Cold War agent Daniels)
DH Pete O'BRIEN (169 homers, 1982-93; TNG, DS9 engineer Miles O'Brien)

C Dick RAND (.240, 1953-57; TOS yeoman Janice Rand)
MIF Dasher TROY (.243 2B/SS, 1881-85; TNG counselor Deanna Troi)
CIF Ed "Jumbo" CARTWRIGHT (106 RBI in 1894; ST4 & ST6 Admiral Cartwright)
OF George "Deerfoot" BARCLAY (.248, 1902-05; TNG, STV engineer Reg Barclay)
UTIL Hector TORRES (.216, 1968-77; STE chief engineer B'Elanna Torres)
UTIL Jerry TERRELL (.253, 1973-80; ST2 captain Terrell)

RHSP Mike SCOTT* (124-108; beaming TOS engineer Scotty)
LHSP Bill KIRK (0-0 in one 1961 KCA start; TOS captain Jim Kirk)
RHSP John ODOm* (84-85; DS9 security chief Odo; points for "Blue Moon")
LHSP Eddie YARnall (1-0, 1999-2000 NYY; TNG security chief Tasha Yar)
RHSP Darryl KILE (133-119; TOS transporter chief Kyle)

CL Byung-Hyun KIM (STV ensign Harry Kim)
RHRP Ron REED (146-140; 103 saves; STE weapons officer Malcolm Reed)
LHRP Jim ARCHER (5 saves for '61 KCA; STE captain Jonathan Archer)
RHRP Bert CONN! (1898-00 PHI; Ricardo Montalban's TOS, ST2 Khaaaaannnnn!)
RHRP/SP Joe DECKER (36-44, 1969-79; ST1 Commander Willard Decker)

Scanned for but either cloaked or otherwise not located: Spock, Sulu, Uhura, Chekov, Picard, Riker, Data, Laforge, Guinan, Pulaski, Sisko, Worf, Dax, Quark, Bashir, Dukat, Garak, Nog, Janeway, T'Pol, Neelix, Phlox, Mayweather, Sato, Tuvok, Seven, Forrest, Saavik, Sarek, Harriman

Well, lots of possible changes, of course -- for instance, should we switch out George Scott at 1B and Dennis Leonard as a SP for Buck Leonard at 1B and SP Mike Scott? And who's missing here, anyway?

Fans of Star Trek -- Trekkies and Trekkers alike (hint: if you know the difference, you're the latter) -- please chip in here! Non-fans, you'll be happy to know that we checked, but no player has ever reached the majors with the character string geek, dork or nerd in his name. However, there may be a spot on the bench for Steve "Psycho" Lyons ...

A Star-Studded Enterprise | 15 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Magpie - Tuesday, May 10 2005 @ 11:53 PM EDT (#116309) #
For this wondering... Star Trek? Baseball? I refer you to, among others, the opener of TNG's third season (the baseball fan scientist and the out-of-control nanites.)

And DS9 had a lot of baseball in it, strangely enough.

Ryan C - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 12:11 AM EDT (#116310) #
Oh cmon no place for Harmon "Buck" Bokai on this team? I mean he did break DiMaggio's consecutive hitting streak. And there really should be some special rule that "Seven" allows Mickey Mantle on the team, even better that her full name is Seven "of Nine", y'know nine fielding positions, no? oh alright.

Magpie - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 12:18 AM EDT (#116311) #
In one of the Trek novels - uh, I used to read them to Liam (yeah, right!) - we are given a backstory for Ensign Saavik.

She joins the Academy baseball team. As a pitcher. She ends up with a very cool baseball nickname: "The Photon Torpedo."

Ryan C - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 12:43 AM EDT (#116313) #
Ok here we go
  • Howbout Hall of Fame pitcher Early Wynn, named for the evil Bajoran Kai Wynn. Also works for Jimmy "The Toy Cannon" Wynn.
  • Or Mark Loretta, named for Data's evil doppleganger brother Lore.
  • 5 time all-star Preacher Roe named for Ensign Ro Laren.
  • George Bell or Cool Papa Bell of the Negro Leagues, who's namesake Gabriel Bell led the San Francisco riots of 2024.
  • Ok not an all-star but Canadian content, Justin Morneau for Morn.
  • Moogie Wilson?
HippyGilmore - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 01:33 AM EDT (#116315) #
Steve Sisco, he of 25 career games at 4 different positions, should be close enough for either Benjamin or Jake Sisco. And erstwhile Jay coach Mel Queen could represent the Borg Queen, though that may be stretching it.

Also, because I am absolutely desperate to find a way to get him on the team in some way, shape or form, perhaps Kevin PICKfORD (Ignore the F) could get Jean Luc some much needed at-bats. Because everyone knows he would be the franchise player.
Ryan C - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 01:52 AM EDT (#116316) #
And DS9 had a lot of baseball in it, strangely enough.

There are a surprising number of baseball references in Trek. Dont forget Kivas Fajo's 1962 Roger Maris baseball card from the great episode "The Most Toys".

Jordan - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 09:16 AM EDT (#116317) #
Surely there's room for Dan Quisenberry?

"I don't have time for your games, Q!"

Mick Doherty - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 09:26 AM EDT (#116318) #
This is awesome. I had thought of some of these things, including the Buck Bokai reference, but the "no fictional characters" came into play there. And I thought about Mantle, but actually found myself thinking "Hmmm, maybe her last or family name is actually 'of Nine,' meaning we should go with Maris."

And at that point, I decided I'd had too much blood wine.

Original Ryan - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 09:37 AM EDT (#116319) #
A few others:

Catcher Johnny ROMano (Quark's bumbling brother Rom from DS9)
Second baseman Tony Taylor (whale lover Dr. Gillian Taylor from ST4)
First baseman Justin MORNeau (Quark's best customer Morn in DS9)
Magpie - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 10:41 PM EDT (#116403) #
And then today the Royals trot out a pitcher named "Sisco" who kind of looks like a Cardassian...
Cristian - Wednesday, May 11 2005 @ 11:21 PM EDT (#116405) #
Paul Quantrill counts if he goes by his nickname Q.
Mick Doherty - Thursday, May 12 2005 @ 03:19 PM EDT (#116492) #
Howbout Hall of Fame pitcher Early Wynn, named for the evil Bajoran Kai Wynn. Also works for Jimmy "The Toy Cannon" Wynn.

Ryan, I hadn't thought of that one, but to demonstrate the extent of my nerdiness, I need clarification on whether "Wynn" is her family name or her given name ... I seem to recall "Kai" is a title, so like "Major Kira Nerys" is Title::Family Name:: Given Name, what is it for Kai Wynn? Is she eligible, or just evil?

Tom Servo - Monday, May 23 2005 @ 02:39 AM EDT (#117449) #
There's Bruce Sloan, sharing a surname (sort of) with Lily Sloane from "First Contact".

How about Salomon Torres for B'Elanna? He's still playing, and stuff!
CaramonLS - Saturday, April 01 2006 @ 06:31 PM EST (#143975) #
Matt Williams might be a guy at 3B for this team.

I guess his Nickname is "Carson Crusher".
Mick Doherty - Friday, August 20 2010 @ 10:33 AM EDT (#221198) #

Ooh, look, years later we have a setup guy and chief communications officer ... Koji Uehara!

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