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While we're waiting for the real Game Report, I have bowed to popular demand and clipped and pasted highlights from the dueling fans in Boston and Toronto.

And Jonny taught me how to do the colour coding (he inserted it himself last time). I like to practise the HTML, ya know...

I can't do this again, by the way. Tomorrow, I'm writing an NL West Update. And, Boston might win anyway. Could happen.

We must not gloat. The Red Sox are the World Champions. And a dangerous team. To gloat would be to tempt fate. Which is never wise. But in the meantime, perhaps there is something we can learn from the wailing, the weeping, the gnashing of teeth...


VBF- Toronto is the only team Boston has a losing record against this season. Ted Lilly will try to shut the door, or will Bronson Arroyo and the Sox have a different idea? It's the Sox and the Jays TONIGHT!

LoweSox - Dammit, you started one of these already. I wanted to start one with the day I officially started hating the Red Sox for the 2005 season. I completely forgot that yesterday was the $2 Tuesday in Toronto that I was supposed to go with my friends, and now found out one of my girls from home here went. I missed out. I may never see the Red Sox live again. This is just another way I always feel like crap because of some crap that has to do with them. Every year I do this and last year they went and had a little win streak afterwards.

jose melendez - It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1. According to the New York Daily News, Yankees liability Alex Rodriguez has been seeing not one but two and occasionally three psychotherapists. This is a tricky issue for Jose. On the one hand, the mentally ill should not be ridiculed. Jose has seen any number of people he cares about struggle with mental illness, and he understands fully that it is no different than a physical condition. Moreover, Rodriguez’s donation of $200,000 to a mental health program for children is downright admirable. On the other hand, A-Rod, as a rule, should be ridiculed for pretty much anything he does. So, as you can see, this puts Jose in quite the bind...

2. Alan Embree declined to blame his poor performance last night on an infection in his jaw. (Note: Hmmm… how could he have ended up with an infection in his jaw? Perhaps as a result of letting chewing tobacco eat away at it for about 20 years.) ...

3. Both the Globe and Herald used the same basic headline today in dealing with the news that Blue Jays Ace Roy Halladay will be forced to skip his start on Thursday. The Globe wrote “Holiday for Halladay,” and the Herald inverted and simplified it to “Halladay Holiday.” Jose would have gone with something different like “Lefty Goy to Start for Roy,” since the empty spot in the rotation will be filled by Ted Lilly. But then Jose remembered that the Blue Jays play in Canada, and as we all know from watching the despicable Canadiens Goalie Patrick Roy frustrate the Bruins, they pronounce “Roy” “Wa” up there, so the rhyme doesn’t work. So instead Jose would have gone with. “Feeling blah, No Start for Roy.”

I'm Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.

andrew_k - Looks nice in the dome tonight.

VBF - I'd give my second finest goat to be there.

DaveTill - Soon, you will run out of goats.

cabrera era - Let's get a damn win, okay? I hate the Jays. I've talked about this earlier in the year, but other than the Yankees, I hate the Jays the most in the MLB. If this ship doesn't turn around, I may be forced out of retirement.

Cabin Mirror - Even though Lilly has struggled this year, he always seems to baffle the Sox batters. His last start was decent, so maybe he is getting back on track.

CaramonLS - Because Lilly is a Yankee at heart, his hatred for the Sox is quite profound.


jtn46 - Umm...can our outs at least make Lilly throw more than 1 pitch?

CaramonLS - Why am I not shocked Reed was HBP?

Rough Carrigan - And Bob Watson waddles onto the field and suspends Arroyo on the spot!

soxfaninyankeeland - Memo to BA: In first game back from suspension, do not hit batter who hit 2 HRs in the previous game.

Nuf Ced - Kevin nimble as a baby deer on a frozen pond.

Elijah - So... when will Olerud be up?

reggiecleveland - Paging Mr Olerud, Mr Olerud.... Mr Petagine?

DaveTill - This is a good start, now let's pile on, and crush them like ants... Let's see them pile on, that is - I personally won't be doing any hitting.

LateRally - Not a good sign. One of the worst pitcher-catcher mix-ups I've ever seen.

DaveTill - Hit ump in left arm with last pitch; catcher crossed up. :-)

savage362 - Well this @#%$ sucks so far.

CaramonLS - Why is there never an RBI on a GIDP?

Elijah - Because the rulebook says no RBI on GIDP.

PaulS - RBI guys know how to get runners home, even when giving up two outs. Joe Morgan should start a movement to make it an RBI.

DaveTill - It's those vital clutch GIDP's that win ballgames.

Elijah - I mean, it's a productive TWO OUTS!

DrZarco - Arroyo got out of that jam pretty easily - 3 pitches.


DaveTill - My God, are the Sox going to swing at the first pitch all night?

Red Averages - Another pitch, another out. Does the scouting report say SWING SWING SWING?

Magpie - Seven pitches, four outs?

jtn46 - Take some @#%$ pitches!!! The guy has gotten 4 outs on 7 pitches!!

DaveTill - With a guy who was having control trouble early this month, swinging at the first pitch is insane.

reggiecleveland - AT this rate, we will have Lilly over 100 pitches after 14 innings

normstalls - Gotta hate it when gameday says: swinging strike, (blocked in dirt)

DaveTill - Lilly had a balk last game, didn't he?

Rough Carrigan - Lilly clearly brought his right foot back behind the rubber. That's a balk.

PaulS - Pitchers who balk are a stain on this game. They need to be suspended. Congress needs to step in.

CaramonLS - What exactly is a textbook Balk?

DaveTill - Throwing a textbook at the baserunner.

DrZarco - Remy just can't figure out why that was a balk - Lilly's knee sure seemed to cross that plane of no return.

DrZarco - When a lefty picks up his leg, he cannot cross an imaginary line between the mound and first base - looked like Lilly did.

PaulS - Remember when they made the balk rule really confusing around 1988 and Charlie Hough balked almost every time a runner was on?

DaveTill - Yes, there was that one year when they changed the balk rule - either 1988 or 1989. Then they changed it back because everybody was balking.

Magpie - You've got me searching for balk statistics. I have no life. None at all. 1988 was the year everything became a balk. Hough had 10 that year (42 career). Dave Stewart had 16 balks in 1988, and 7 over the rest of his career.

Red Averages - 2 HBPs so far tonight. We'll see if Arroyo responds.

DaveTill - I declare V-Dub's slump officially over.

andrew_k - Next year they need to get VW to report to spring training in January.

Deweys New Stance - Can we just fastforward past the "playing beneath their abilities and just kinda treading water" portion of the schedule this year and cut right to the "red-hot for a month and taking control of a playoff slot" portion?

Ryan-C - Hill!

MikeGreen - Off a tough rightie, yet! Bueno.

HollywoodHartman - Correct me if I'm wrong but an RBI in every game?

Magpie - Savvkivv is right!??! Very fine at bat by the rook. Got behind 0-2, fouled off a couple pitches, lined an RBI double. I liked it.

jtn46 - So, the guy on 0-2 chases 2 straight sliders in the left handed batters box. So you give him an inside fastball. Why?

Rough Carrigan - Dewey's, aren't you worried that they think THEY can do that, that they think they can just turn it on at will and win 25 games in August if they need to?


PaulS - Bellhorn strikes out??? Bellhorn shouldn't even count at this point.

The Gray Eagle - This fricking blows. Getting shut down by Ted "Pictures of" Lilly yet AGAIN, while every other team in the league kicks his ass.


ajw1918 - Eric Hinske Millared that throw -- YAY!

Rough Carrigan - Wow. Their first baseman's a lummox, too?

bosoxgrl - Could we use some 100th post mojo in here?

ajw1918 - What happened to the "100th Post Topless Pics" rule? Isn't anyone keeping up on these things?

Rough Carrigan - Jesus. Twice they have real rallies going and twice they get Nixon up to bat against the lefty. Sigh. Come on Trotsky!

DaveTill - Come on Teddy!

FelixMantilla - That's about the best you expect from Trot against Lily.

cabrera era - At least we aren't as bad as the A's. They are in the process of giving up 10 in the first inning to Tampa Bay. Ouch

DaveTill - "I can get that guy out - I've gotten him out twice this inning!"

Who The Hell is Stan Papi - I thought taking the under at 10 was a good play.

Cristian - Mercifully, Blanton has registered an out.

VBF - Trade Chavez for Menechino. They need some pitching.

Magpie - Got to get Beane really really drunk first.

DaveTill - Mike Forbes, your mission is clear: get Billy Beane drunk.

MikeForbes - No one can stop me. I'll be at Billy's house tomorrow afternoon, with two 40's of Smirnoff for ol' Billy.

DaveTill - Beane's probably destroying the clubhouse even as we speak.

Cristian - Does Beane even have any chairs left to throw?

VBF - C'mon Vernon. Make me proud.

ManilaSoxFAN - Once again...we have had a ton of excellent DPs this season.

HollywoodHartman - Hazel!

Braby21 - Did Hazel just rip into Toronto?

Elijah - She said a "warm day in Toronto ... isn't that an oxymoron?" Or something like that.

Who The Hell is Stan Papi - No Hazel, you're the oxymoron.

RookRob - Boston has such beautiful Aprils, too.


reggiecleveland - Time for a big inning, boys.

VBF - Random question of the game: I'm going to Chicago this summer to see the Jays. I was wondering if U.S. Cellular is the kind of place where I'm going to have to watch my back if I'm wearing the jersey of another team.

DrZarco - VBF-definitely not. I've been to Jays/Sox each of the last three years and for the most part haven't been hassled at all. And have been in full Jays stuff - I don't think they care if it's not the Cubs.

RookRob - White Sox fans only care about the Cubs. Not the Sox, not anyone else.

HollywoodHartman - Ok, this has been killing me: who is/was Sam Horn?

Magpie - Sam Horn was a huge DH who had a great half-season with the Red Sox in 1987. About as mobile as a tree. Looked a bit like Ortiz as I recall.

exCentralSquare - This isn't going too well.


Elijah - Millar didn't have much of a vertical.

Rough Carrigan - Okay, Millar jumped but Jesus Christ, the ball went right off his glove. Did it not occur to him to squeeze it shut at some point?

DaveTill - This is the defense of a championship quality team?

BBAnon824 - Shea's May OPS .711


ChristineAnn18 - Oh boy. What a game. Cy Lilly continues his reign of terror. Umpire gets hit by a passed ball. Fielding mishaps of various types. Arroyo a little shakey.

jtn46 - This guy has an ERA over 8.00, right?

AWeb - Lilly ERA update: 7.49.

Magpie - Not a run-of-the-mill DP. Nice one, Shea.

Rough Carrigan - What an ugly, ugly swing Tek had for those first two strikes, especially that first one. How does he step in the bucket so far on a low outside pitch?

WayneHousieHOF - The problem is that the way things are going there's a good chance only the Devil Rays will provide a buffer between us and the basement by, say, Saturday.

Magpie - Arroyo was actually named after Charles Bronson? I liked Bronno, but not the first actor I would choose to name my child for

DaveTill - It's better than Travolta Arroyo, I guess.


PaulS - I have no idea why the Sox are still starting Millar.

CaramonLS - Well, at least Mueller is doing good for my Fantasy line up today.

gcapalbo - OK, time to come down off the Zakim bridge. Lily returning to form. Bases loaded.

Vodeni - Who's warming up in the pen?

Rough Carrigan - Come on, Johnny of Nazareth!

Magpie - I try to get three more hitters out of Lilly myself.

DaveTill - Getting the sure out is good.

DaveTill - Pitching change.

Magpie - Vinnie.

DaveTill - Nice hand from crowd...yes, it's two good starts in a row - that was all a bad dream... yes, a bad dream.

ragecage - OK, on the board. Let's get more. ER!

LahoudOrBillyC - Good time for a lefty pinch hitter. Oh, wait, we don't have one.

Rough Carrigan - Who needs a lefty pinch hitter when you can have Mike Myers sucking up a roster spot and giving you a workhorse 20 innings pitched in a season?

DaveTill - Nice pitch, Vinny.

LateRally - Way to take a friggin' pitch, Rent.

jtn46 - Man, he looked great all night going to right, and first chance to drive in some runs and he pulls the ball...

fozzy - Nice defence by Shea; I was under the impression that he was supposed to be a disaster coming into the season.

AndrewS - I can't imagine why. He's always been a corner infielder you describe with words like "servicable" "decent" or "average", plus he's around his peak age.

DaveTill - I thought that Hillenbrand would provide depth at third and first, and he has. I wasn't expecting him to be as good on defense as he is.

Return of the Dewey - Halama doing his thing again.


birddroppings - Perhaps Russ grew envious of Hill's triples?

Rough Carrigan - Gawd, Trot. What a ridiculous jump. Not even close to the ball. That was just this side of a blooper reel.

LateRally - Is it me or does Nixon look terrible judging fly balls lately? He came in on that ball, then watched it go over his head. The other day he started back on a shallow fly, and had to run in for the catch.

jtn46 - Halama, you had to get one guy...and he got a triple...I guess the good news didn't give up a homerun...

Jack Brohammer Experience - Halama is Esperanto for "batting practice."

Deweys New Stance - Hey, Mantei's up! Can we somehow retroactively insert him into the 9th inning of last night's game?

Vodeni - You think they've had enough of Sparky yet?

Magpie - Who loves Reed Johnson?

CaramonLS - Reed hasn't been bad vs. Righties so far this season (or as bad I should say), so can Reed develop into anymore more than a good platoon?

DaveTill - I'm not sure that he can. I think he works best with regular rest, as he's a high-energy player. I think he's being used perfectly right now.

sfip - I'd just like to say I'm getting really tired of hearing the name Reed Johnson.


Return of the Dewey - Productive top half of the 8th. :-(

DaveTill - Brisk and efficient! Well done, Vinny.

LateRally - Beautiful. Another stellar top half.

CaramonLS - And I knew Foulke was bad this season. I didn't realize ERA-over-7.00 bad.

Deweys New Stance - Hey, there's something to be positive about...Manny flashing the leather. Too bad everything else tonight has sucked.

LateRally - Another rocket off another Foulke meatball. Lucky catch by Manny saves extra bases.

PaulS - Oooh, Manny's burned up one of his good plays for the year.


DaveTill - Okay, Justin, finish this up now.

PseuFighter - Is the offense even trying?

DaveTill - That, my friends, was a butt-kicking.

Spacemanlee2000 - There's gotta be some way we can blame this one on David Wells.

By Popular Demand | 4 comments | Create New Account
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TorontoDan - Thursday, May 26 2005 @ 02:40 AM EDT (#117726) #
Nicely done. I'm really starting to like this format.
Jobu - Thursday, May 26 2005 @ 03:16 AM EDT (#117727) #
I just dont want to see what a thread like this would sound like if we actually lost to them.
Magpie - Thursday, May 26 2005 @ 09:09 AM EDT (#117735) #
I just dont want to see what a thread like this would sound like if we actually lost to them.

You won't! I'm done, anyway.

Flex - Thursday, May 26 2005 @ 09:49 AM EDT (#117738) #
Hey, Dad, that was fun! Do it again! Do it again!

Okay, I know you can't tomorrow -- but when they meet again in July?

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The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.