If you've been following along since Baseball's Hall of Names was introduced here back in March of 2003, you know I stole the idea from my dear ol' dad (that's Mike Doherty Sr. here on Batter's Box). His original concept became our inaugural HoN squad, the All-Food team.
Recently, he sent me an e-mail with a draft of an all-directions team, but suggested it couldn't be done; by his strict rules, that's correct. But since -- as he is aware, I am all too likely to do -- we can and have relaxed the rules, we are now headed in a whole new direction, as it were.
How? Well ...
... the rules here are expanded to include any players who have a direction in their name, not simply as their full last name; that is, we not only have room for speedy CF Billy North, but playing beside him in RF is Jim Northrup. Get the idea?
We will also expand to include the "directions" beyond the compass, like "up" and "down" as well as "near" (there are none) and "far." To limit ourselves at least a little, we will only allow each last/family name to be used once, so for instance, we will be forced to choose between LHSP Al and C/DH Brian Downing, but cannot use both. We were not tempted by career .182-hitting 19th century 2B/UTIL George Mappes.
There were a couple of holes in our standard 25-man roster, a bench utility position and a spot in the rotation, so we went to our default Spanish/Latino player exception and used the Spanish words for the compass points, specifically "sur" as "south" to net us, ironically enough, a couple of gringos for the squad. Your suggestions on how to juggle the roster to remove even this minor anomaly are welcome and invited.
THE DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENGED
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star
MGR Billy SOUTHworth (1044-704, two titles; also .297 OF, 1913-29)
LINEUP
C Wes WESTrum* (.217, 96 homers, two-time All-Star)
1B Willie UPshaw (.262, 1978-88)
2B Billy WEST (.204 in 10 games, 1874-76)
SS Henry EASTerday (.190 career; .180 for 1888 KC Cowboys)
3B Harry EAST (0-for-4 at age 19 in 1882)
LF Wally WESTlake* (.272, 127 homers, 1951 All-Star)
CF Billy NORTH (.261, 395 SB)
RF Jim NORTHrop (.267, 153 homers)
DH Luke EASTer (Negro League star)
BENCH
C Ted EASTerly (.300, 1909-15)
SS/2B/3B Tom DOWNey (.240, 1909-15)
IF B.J. UPton (young Devil Ray hotshot)
OF Ron NORTHey (.276, 108 homers)
OF Paul EASTerling (.275, 1928, '30, '38)
UTIL B.J. SURhoff (.283, 183 homers)
ROTATION
RHSP Jake WESTbrook* (14-9 in 2004)
LHSP Al DOWNing* (123-107)
RHSP Max SURkont (61-76)
LHSP Jerry UPp (2-1, 1909 CLE)
RHSP Jack EASTon (15-14, 1890 Columbus; 26-29 career)
BULLPEN
CL-R Rawly EASTwick (Led NL in saves, 1975 & 1976)
RHRP Steve FARr (48-45, 132 saves)
LHRP Scott DOWNs (7-10 through 2004)
RHRP Mickey WESTon (1-2, 1 save, 1989-93)
RHRP Cecil UPshaw (34-36, 86 saves)
OTHERS and/or REPEATS
LHRP Jamie EASTerly
RHSP/OF Carl EAST (2-for-7; 16.20 ERA)
RHSP Kelly DOWNs (57-53)
RHRP Hugh EAST (2-6, 1941-43 NYG)
RHRP Lou NORTH (21-16, 13 saves)
C/OF/DH Brian DOWNing (2099 hits, 275 homers)
C Roy EASTerwood (.212, 1944 CHC)
OF Hub NORTHen (.272, 1910-12)
IF/OF Red DOWNs (.227, 1907-12)
Ironically, nobody named "South" (except our "Sur" boys) made the roster, but Billy is the, uh, Southworthy manager. It's also worth noting that fully half of the four players in major league history who went by "B.J." are on this team.
So Bauxites, how can we make this team better? You know, take it still another new, er, direction?
