What is the best possible roster we could build consisting of 25 players, each bearing a different one of those 25 most common American surnames? It's quite a bit trickier than simply choosing the best player off each roster ...
... as you would then have a roster full of too many outfielders and quite a few starting pitchers, but do you really want a double play combination of Will Clark at short and Frank Thomas at second?
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25 Most Common North American Surnames |
That's an absurd, extreme example, of course, but we do end up with a lot of pretty tough decisions ... for instance where Rodriguez (#22) is concerned, do we play A-Rod at short or "settle" for Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith there so Pudge Rodriguez can catch? (Remember, we can use each name exactly once) ...
And if we do that, can we find someone to close out games who won't make us regret not going with Lee Arthur Smith in the bullpen?
Higher up the list, what about the #2 Johnsons -- is it LHSP Randy or RHSP Walter? If, as logic would seem to dictate, we decide to go with the lefty, well what about Hall of Fame Negro league 3B Judy Johnson? Not to worry, you might think -- we have Robinsons down the pike at #20. But would putting Brooks at 3B at the expense of Frank in the OF or DH be such a great idea? Speaking of F-Robby, since our talent pool runs only and exactly 25 names (literally) deep, our manager will have to be a player/manager, like Robinson was, once upon a time, for the Cleveland Indians. Does that mean Bucky Harris, who is almost certainly the best managerial candidate, deserves an actual roster spot as a player? As it turns out, no less than four players who made this roster, including both Harris and Robinson, served time as big league skippers, so we're covered ... It's interesting to note that three of the four legitimate candidates for player/manager, Harris, Billy Martin and Sparky Anderson, all were second basemen as players ... Good thing Andruw Jones has earned that defensive whiz reputation he has; flanked by The Splendid Splinter and The Straw That Stirs the Drink, he's going to need to cover a LOT of ground ... Conversely, that middle infield of Frank White and Ozzie Smith won -- and deserved -- 21 Gold Gloves between them (13 for the Wizard, eight for White) so presumably won't let much through, and with AJ in CF and Pudge behind the plate, that's a pretty good defense up the middle! Anyway, please meet ... |
IT MAKES CENSUS
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star
(parentheticals following each player note others with that surname who were, however briefly, considered for roster spots)
Player/Manager: Bucky Harris (2157-2218)
Player/Coach: Frank Robinson (994-1085 through 2005)
Player/Coach: Ted Williams (273-364)
Player/Coach: Mordecai Brown (50-63)
LINEUP
C Ivan Rodriguez* (SS Alex*)
1B Frank Thomas* (OF Gorman*)
2B Frank White* (C Sammy*, OF Roy*, OF Devon*)
SS Ozzie Smith** (CL-RH Lee*, RHSP Hilton**)
3B Pepper Martin* (2B/MGR Billy*, IF Stu*)
LF Ted Williams** (OF Billy**, RHSP Smokey Joe**)
CF Andruw Jones* (3B/OF Chipper*, CL-RH Todd*, CL-RH Doug*)
RF Reggie Jackson** (SS Travis**, RHSP Larry*)
DH Frank Robinson** (2B Jackie**, 3B Brooks**)
BENCH
C Damian Miller* (SS Eddie*)
MID IF Bucky Harris** (CL-R/LH Greg A.)
3B/OF Buddy Lewis* (OF Duffy)
OF Larry Walker* (OF Harry*)
OF Garrett Anderson* (OF Brady*, 2B/MGR Sparky**)
PH/DH Jack Clark (1B Will*)
ROTATION
RHSP Mordecai Brown** (RHSP Kevin*)
LHSP Randy Johnson* (RHSP Walter**, 3B Judy**)
RHSP Pedro J. Martinez* (C Victor*, DH Edgar*)
LHSP Bill F. Lee* (1B Derrek*, UTIL Leron, RHSP Bill C.*)
RHSP Mike Garcia* (2B Damaso*, RHSP Freddy*)
BULLPEN
CL-RH Wilcy Moore (CF Jo-Jo*, CL-RH Donnie*)
LH-SET Mark Davis* (C Spud, CF Eric*, CF Tommy*)
RH-SET Billy Taylor (2B Tony, RHSP Jack W.)
LH-LONG Justin Thompson* (1B Jason D.*)
RH-LONG Don Wilson* (OF Hack**, CF Willie*)
