Of course Martin, the 16th-most common North American surname, is literally only 75 percent of the name that Martinez is (the first six of eight letters is three-quarters, or 75 percent, natch) and Martinez is the 19th-most popular North American surname (though there have actually been more big league Martinezes, 33, than Martins), so we'll visit Hall of Names team for both ...
Here we go -- as usual, there are no actual middle names listed on the all-middle-name team; in each case, you can safely assume it's Martin -- even in the case of Marty Keough, who forsook his given first name of Richard ...
The Lock/Heed Martins
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star
Player/Manager: Billy Martin (1253-1013, 5 first -place finishes, two rings)
C J.C. Martin (.222, 1959-72)
1B Boris "Babe" Martin (.214 in parts of six seasons, more in OF)
2B Alfred "Billy" Martin* (.257 over 11 years; 100+ games at SS)
SS Jack Martin (.237, 1912 NYY, 1914 BSN and PHI)
3B Johnny "Pepper" Martin* (.298 in 13 seasons)
LF Hersh Martin* (.285 in six seasons; AS w/1938 PHI)
CF Jerry Martin (.251, 1974-84)
RF Albert L. Martin (.276, 132 homers, 1992-2003)
DH Smokey Joe Martin (3B hit .236, 1936 NYG, '38 CHW)
C Mike Martin (1-for-13 for 1986 CHC)
2B/3B Stu Martin* (.268 in eight seasons)
2B/3B Frank Martin (.242 in 20 games, 1897-99)
OF/2B/3B Silent Joe Martin (.219 in 79 games, 1903 WSH, SLB)
OF/RHSP Alphonse "Phonney" Martin (3-10, 3.45; .236, 1872-73)
UTIL Norberto Martin (.278, 1993-99, all but C)
RHSP Renie Martin (24-35, 12 saves)
LHSP John Martin (17-14, 1980-83)
RHSP Elwood Good "Speed" Martin (29-42, six saves,1917-22)
LHSP Morrie Martin (38-34, 1949-59)
5SP-LH Pat Martin (1-6, 1919-20 PHA)
CL-LH Tom Martin (9-9, three saves 1997-2005)
RHRP Fred Martin (12-3, 1946, '49, '50 STL)
RHRP Ray Martin (1-0, 1943, '47-'48 BSN)
RHRP Paul Martin (0-1 in seven games with the '55 PIT)
RHRP Harold "Doc" Martin (1-2, 1908, '11'-'12 PHA)
All-Martins: First Names, First
Player/MGR Marty McManus (95-153)
C Martin "Chick" Autry (.245, 1924-30)
1B Martin Powell (.283, 1991-84)
2B Marty G. Barrett (.278 in 10 years; '86 ALCS MVP)
SS Marty Marion* (.263 in 13 seasons)
3B Marty McManus (.289, 120 homers, 126 SB in 15 years)
LF Marty Cordova (.274, 122 homers, 1995-2003)
CF Marty Callaghan (.267 in four years, 1922-30)
RF Marty Sullivan (.273 in five seasons)
DH Marty Krug (.276 for '22 CHC)
RHSP Martin Dihigo** (Negro League great)
RHSP Marty pattin* (114-109, 25 saves)
RHSP Marty McHale (12-30 in six years)
RHSP Marty O'Toole (15-17 in 1912; 27-36 career)
All-Martins: Middle Names, At Last
Player/MGR George Van Haltren (1-10 in 1892)
C Don Slaught (.283 in 16 years)
1B John Kruk* (.300, 100 homers)
2B Don Kolloway (.271 in 12 seasons)
SS Tom Veryzer (.241 in 12 seasons)
3B Bobby Bonilla* (.279, 287 homers)
LF Val Pascucci (.177 for 2004 Exos)
CF George Van Haltren (2532 hits, .316)
RF Marty Keough (Richard M. Keough; .242/11 years)
DH VACANT (applications welcome)
RHSP Ike Delock (84-75, 1952-63)
LHSP Jerry Koosman* (222-209)
RHSP Armando Reynoso (68-62, 1991-2002)
RHR-SP Erv Palica (41-55, 10 saves, 1947-56)
LHRP Keith Comstock (10-7, three saves)
Now, after all that Martin-and-out, do you need a drink? Well, then, it's a good thing our next squad is ...
The Vodka Martinez
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star
Manager: Buck Martinez (100-115 with 2001-02 TOR)
Coach: Marty Martinez (0-1 as interim with 1986 SEA)
C Victor Martinez* (.292, 45 homers through 2005)
1B Tino Martinez* (.271, 339 homers through 2005)
2B Ramon Martinez (no middle initial; .268 in seven seasons)
SS Felix Martinez (.214, 1997-2001)
3B Carlos Martinez (.258 in seven seasons)
LF Carmelo Martinez (.245, 108 homers in nine seasons)
CF Dave Martinez (.276 in 16 seasons)
RF Chito Martinez (.259/18/58 in 158 games with 1991-93 BAL)
DH Edgar Martinez* (.312, 2247 hits, 309 homers in 18 seasons)
C Sandy Martinez (.230 in eight seasons through 2004)
1B Domingo Martinez (.409 -- 9-for-22 -- for 1992-93 TOR)
SS/UTIL Teddy Martinez (.240, 1970-79, SS/2B/3B/OF)
2B/SS/3B Jose A. Martinez (.245, 1969-70 PIT)
OF Manny Martinez (.245, 1996-99)
OF Hector Martinez (.267 in 7 games for 1962-63 KCA))
RHSP Pedro J. Martinez* (197-84 through 2005)
RHSP Dennis Martinez* (245-193)
RHSP Ramon J. Martinez* (135-88)
RHSP Silvio Martinez (15-8 for 1979 STL, 31-32 career)
LHSP Luis Martinez (0-3 in four starts for 2003 MIL)
CL-LH Tippy Martinez* (55-42, 115 saves in 14 years)
RH-SET Alfredo Martinez (7-9 for 1980 Angels)
LH-SET Pedro A. Martinez (7-4, 3 saves, 1993-97)
RHRP Anastacio Martinez (2-1 with 2004 BOS)
RHRP Javier Martinez (0-1 in 37 games for 1998 PIT)
Martin(ez)-izing Comments: Among the Martins who didn't make the cut are shortstop Billy L. Martin -- as tempting as the idea of an All-Billy Martin keystone combo might be, Billy L. was just 0-for-3 in one game with the 1914 Boston Braves ... 2B/OF Albert D. Martin hit just .164 in three years -- four games with the 1872 Brooklyn Eckfords and 13 more with the 1874-75 Brooklyn Atlantics... OF Gene Martin retired with a career batting average of .364 -- amassing his Cobb-like numbers in one 4-for-11 performancefor the 1968 Senators; he was eventually part of the PHI/WASH Curt Flood trade ...
The only active Martin at this writing is LHRP Tom, whose left-handedness more than anything earned him his spot on the squad, and he ends up -- believe it or not -- in the closer's role; however, there are no other lefties in the 'pen, so Tom's status may change as roles evolve ... The only pitcher named Martin to not make the team is RHRP Barney Martin, who surrendered two earned runs in two career innings pitched for the 1953 Reds ...
Elwood Good "Speed" Martin -- what a great name, there -- made 126 career big league appearances, exactly half (63) of thems starts and half of them out of the bullpen ... Morrie Martin is the all-time name leader in saves, with 15, but rotation "depth" mandates that his 42 starts (in 250 appearances) land him in an every-fifth-day role ... We have to wonder if the last man in the bullpen, whose given name was Harold, went into the shoe-making business to earn that nickname, the original "Doc Martin" ...
For some reason, there have been a bunch of middling catchers with the middle name "Martin," including Don Slaught (.283 in 16 years); Gary Allenson (.221 in seven seasons); Ed Herrmann (.240, 11 seasons); Dave Rader (.257 in 10s easons); Mert Hackett (.216, 1883-87) and William "Pickles" Dillhoefer (.213. 1917-21)... Slaught is probably the best of them ... Bonilla at 3B? Sure, he's a butcher in the field, but also the all-time home run leader among middle-named Martins, and by a LOT ...
Maybe having a "closer" named "Tippy" on a team named for a popular mixed drink isn't the best plan from a marketing perspective, but we can rest assured that come ninth-inning pressure, he may be shaken, but not stirred ... Tippy is best known for picking off three Toronto Blue Jays in a single inning.... Unlike the Martins, there aren't a ton of Martinez middle names, and exactly none in the way of first names so far, and though presumably the ego of one Reginald Martinez Jackson might propel him to believe he could stack up against the All-Martinez team all by hissownself, he is not eligible to make that team, and won't be taking them on single-handed, either ...
Two others not eligible for any of these teams are RHSP Oyster Joe Martina, who ws 6-8 for the 1924 Senators; and ironically, given the Martinez team name, Wedo "Southern" Martini, a RHSP who was 0-2 for the 1935 Philadelphia A's ... Manager Buck Martinez, who hit .284 in 17 big league seasons, probably deserves to make the roster as a player, too, but Victor is the All-Star starter and Sandy is a more than capable backup, so why push Buck into double duty? ... Quite unlike the Martins, who found themselves scrambling to fill the DH role, the Martinezes have one clear DH candidate, arguably the greatest "pure" (or given this team's name, "Absolut") DH of all time, Edgar ...
The pitching is really where the Martin/ez teams part ways; the Martinez boys start with Pedro J., who's headed to the Hall of Fame, Pedro J's big brother Ramon, and El Presidente, Dennis ... Those three alone are closing in on 600 combined career wins, so who cares if that rotation is predominantly right-handed? ... Meanwhile, the nominal ace of the Martin rotation, ex-Royal Renie, while a fine hurler in his own right, would barely make it as the fifth starter on the Martinez squad ...
In the bullpen, Tippy has more than five times as many career saves as every pitcher on the Martin squad combined ... Other than Tippy, one of only two other lefties on the team is "The Other Pedro," Pedro A. Martinez, who could at least theoretically combine with Pedro J. on some devastating All-Pedro-Martinez pitching performances ...
Among the few Martinezes not clearing this team's, uh, bar, were SS/2B Tony (.161 for the 1963-66 Indians); SS Pablo (1-for-2 in four games with the 1996 Braves); OF Greg (0-for-3 in 13 games for the 1998 Brewers); and three RHRPs, Rogelio (0-1 in two games for the 1950 Senators); Willie (one game, three IP, no decisions for the 2000 Indians) and Jose (0-2 in four games, one start for the 1994 Padres) ...
That about does it ... and I think we've used up all the possible Martin(ez) puns, so if you have a suggestion to improve this team, maybe you can present it as a "Blue Light Special" from K-Mart(in/ez) ...