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This isn't really "Hall of Names" territory -- at least not yet. It's more of a Reader Challenge to help pass time this February Friday ...

So here's the challenge for you all -- we've played with Anagramatics here on Da Box previously, but for newcomers, "anagramatics" means ...

... word-play using people's names to find full anagrams that describe them (or, more commonly, don't but in a funny way). For example, my personal anagramatic is Michael Doherty = Hey, I'm a Tech Lord. (Not!)

So today we look to fill a complete roster of ballplayers who have anagramatically appropriate appellations. You want Babe Ruth on the team? Show us that it somehow matters -- maybe as he's striding to the plate or waiting in the on-deck circle -- that, anagramatically, He Rub Bat.

Make sense? Okay, need help? Try our old Web pal, "I, Rearrangement Servant" (that's a brilliant anagram for Internet Anagram Server), plug in your favorite player's name, and see what options you have.

Is it bad that Dave Steib is a Biased Vet? You can't really make a baseball pun for Tom Henke's anagramatics, unless he's screaming at old Jay Jeff as he rounds third, Home, Kent! For that matter, Jeff Kent is that rarest of names that literally has NO anagrams of any sort, anagramatic or otherwise. So, let 'er rip ... 

Who makes the All-Anagramatic Squad?

Let's Build the Anagramatic All-Stars | 26 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Mick Doherty - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 12:34 PM EST (#179604) #

Well, then, allow me to begin ... I cannot build an All-Star team without The Greatest Pitcher Who Ever Lived, Tom Seaver (I will not accept arguments on this point).

And anagramatically, he did in fact Steam Over  opponents!

Original Ryan - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 12:37 PM EST (#179605) #
A while back I was checking on the anagrams for Toronto's broadcasters.  Pat Tabler becomes Batter Pal, which seems fittingly appropriate for his current role on TV.

While this Rance Mulliniks anagram isn't really baseball-related, it's similar to the rather unfortunate dairy product anagram that Mike Wilner wound up with.  Mulliniks' name becomes Sir Unclean Milk.

3RunHomer - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 01:29 PM EST (#179609) #

Do you only want good players? If not ...

Dennis "Wildthing" Sarfate = twirls fatheaded innings

Matt Albers = blest at arm

Adam Loewen = lame and woe

Scott Williamson = two million casts

Corey Patterson = Ye so rotten crap

Melvin Mora = I'm no marvel

Eddie Murray = I murdered ya

Baltimore Orioles = Lo I root miserable

Toronto Blue Jays = no joyous battler

Joel Horlen - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 01:48 PM EST (#179612) #

Did Vida Blue doctor the ball?

He was a lube diva...

Parker - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 02:18 PM EST (#179613) #

Alan "Arm All Mental" Trammell could start at short, even if his anagram reminds me a lot more of a late-career Chuck Knoblauch.

Add Joe Mauer to the list of players with no known anagrams.

Parker - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 02:20 PM EST (#179614) #
For the record, my own personal favorite anagram is "Mangle Nerds"
CaramonLS - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 02:41 PM EST (#179617) #
Eric Gagne does not like what comes up in his anagram.
ChicagoJaysFan - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 02:43 PM EST (#179618) #
Will Clark might work at first, with his anagram referencing the end of his career, where he was either hurt, or crushing the ball : Crawl Kill
Mike Green - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 03:31 PM EST (#179622) #
Orlando Hudson has 9583 possibilities.  "Hand Round Solo" might be good for him on the pivot.  Ron Santo has "A Torn Son", which does describe the end of his career due to injury.  Lyle Overbay's "Every ball, yo" would be better if he was a rapper.  Alex Rios- "Rile a Sox" works for the 2008 season.  Brandon League's "Algebra undone" is a classic, although there have been no rumours about his math homework habits.
ChicagoJaysFan - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 03:36 PM EST (#179624) #
I don't recall Bo Jackson being that rude, but he is A Jock Snob
Craig B - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 03:37 PM EST (#179625) #
Finally, something to draw me out of the woodwork.


General Manager : EYEBALL BIN
Hitting Coach : IT'S OCTAGON!
Pitching Coach : NO SHY NINJA


Batting leadoff, in left field : A MINISTER
Batting second, at second base : GREEN BRANDYS
Batting third, at first base : LIVELY COW-MICE
Batting cleanup, at third base : ME, DICK SMITH
Batting fifth, in center field : ENEMY CAT MILK
Batting sixth, in right field : RE-ELECT TROMBONE!
Batting seventh, at catcher : SCROTAL FINK
Batting eighth, at shortstop : MR. KEN ALGEBRA


Backup catcher - HERE, NITWIT!
Backup infielder - HULK CHUCK BACON!!!!!!!!!
Backup outfielder - I'M GIVING A CODE


#2 Starter - ROWDY THIEF
#3 Starter - ORAL NANNY


(Casey Stengel, Billy Beane, Cito Gaston, Johnny Sain - Tim Raines, Ryne Sandberg, Willie McCovey, Mike Schmidt, Mickey Mantle, Roberto Clemente, Carlton Fisk, Mark Belanger - Ernie Whitt, Chuck Knoblauch, Vince DiMaggio - Christy Mathewson, Whitey Ford, Nolan Ryan, Pedro Martinez - Dan Quisenberry, Dan Plesac, Dennis Eckersley)

ChicagoJaysFan - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 03:48 PM EST (#179627) #
If we include our minors, I would say it's not only suggested that you use Chip Cannon as a pinch-hitter, its downright pinch canon.

Of course, all the minor-league personnel want to play in the majors, especially Ryan Patterson, even if its for Nonstarter Pay

Kevin Ahrens is also dying to come to Toronto, mostly to see Heaven's Rink (I think I gagged a bit there)

Back in the day, we all remember that Lloyd Moseby boomed slyly  while sharing the outfield with the other killer B's.
Original Ryan - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 08:58 PM EST (#179639) #
A few more:

Sammy Sosa - Sassy Ammo
Rick Bosetti - Bitter Sicko
Don Mattingly - Mangy Tin Dolt  (I have no idea what this means, but it amused me.)
Jack Morris - Sir Arm Jock

Alex Obal - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 10:11 PM EST (#179641) #
Russ Moore Adams = ARM ASSURES DOOM.
King Ryan - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 11:34 PM EST (#179644) #
The most obvious one:

Mike Piazza: "I make pizza"

Scattered others:

Troy Glaus: "Surly Goat."  That why he was traded?
Brandon League: "Unreal Bondage" TMI! TMI!
Nomar Garciaparra: "Crap anagram, I roar."  I agree.
You guys remember this game? Yeah...that's Terry Adams: May's Retard.
Maybe the Mets don't think Pedro Martinez will ever be back in form, but they still see him as a prized mentor

And my favorite:

Ken Griffey Junior: "Frig! Injury of knee!"
Mick Doherty - Friday, February 01 2008 @ 11:56 PM EST (#179647) #
Nomar Garciaparra: "Crap anagram, I roar." 

Greatest. Anagramatic. Ever.
Geoff - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 01:08 AM EST (#179650) #

Roy Halladay = "A Hardy Loyal"

Roberto Alomar = "Bare Oral Motor" That spitting incident is a sad blemish on a stellar player. Many other possibilities - "Amoral Rob Tore" "Alarm Boo Retro"

Mark McGwire = "Am Grim Wreck"

Barry Bonds = "Ran Bobs Dry"  Bobs being his father, ran dry of his distinction in the record books.

Rollie Fingers = "Foreigner Ills"   Master of the moustache

Babe Ruth = "Earth Bub"  or Heart Bub

owen - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 12:41 PM EST (#179655) #
Ken Griffey Junior: "Frig! Injury of knee!"
Too Good.

This exercise has made me understand why watching replays of Carter's home run always makes me "Eject Roar".
Mick Doherty - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 05:03 PM EST (#179656) #

From the overly-extensive list of my favorite players on the Roster page here on Da Box ...

  • Frank Catalanotto = Nonfatal Coat Kart (describing Cat's glovework?)
  • Andy Pettitte = Petty, Tainted (in reference to his recent troubles?)
  • Greg Maddux = Max Drugged (not many options; is he headed for the Senate hearings?)
  • Andy Tracy = Candy Tray (no idea what this could mean!
  • Ken Henderson = Ken No Hen, Reds (Cincinnati never tried to send him across state to Toledo, did they?)
  • Ralph Garr = NONE!
  • Joe Lis = NONE!
  • Tom Seaver = (as noted above) Steam Over  (which is what he did to hitters)
  • Frank Pastore = Forsaken Part (well, he never did live up to the early hype)
  • Bill Gullickson = Lo, is killing club! (actually, he was pretty good!)
  • Alan Trammell = Male Mall Rant (practicing to face off with an umpire? Or would that be a "Lame Mall Rant"?)
Mike Green - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 10:04 PM EST (#179658) #
A tad on the nasty side:

Derek Jeter- TREED JERK
Roger Clemens- LCS, MORE GREEN

Blue Jay department:

Matt Stairs- RASTA MITTS (will they play Lively Up Yourself when Matt takes the field?)
Brian Wolfe- BOAR FLEW IN

Nolan - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 11:03 PM EST (#179659) #
Russ Moore Adams = ARM ASSURES DOOM

This is the most appropriately amazing anagram I've ever seen, bar none.
Nolan - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 11:42 PM EST (#179660) #
Some others for our team:

Ted Williams had some trouble during his career with the Boston media: "Media Twills"  [I'm assuming "twills" is bad...]

If the rumours are true, then Roger Clemens has "Scorn Mere Gel" [or Cream] and instead opted for injections.

Joe Medwick: "Jock, mewed I." 

Ozzieball - Saturday, February 02 2008 @ 11:47 PM EST (#179661) #
DREAM SIZE ORGY is the appropriate anagram of Cleveland's centre fielder.
King Ryan - Sunday, February 03 2008 @ 08:53 PM EST (#179664) #
Paul Godfrey: "Frugal Dopey."  That's not very nice...
Ted Rogers: "Greed Rots."   Sensing a theme here...
Carl Pohlad: "Dollar Chap."  Uncanny!

Jeff Loria: "Jail Offer."  Hmm, if only.
David Samson: "Damn Ass Void."  I expect John Brattain to use this in his next THT column . . .

Mike Green - Sunday, February 03 2008 @ 09:55 PM EST (#179665) #
Very nice, King Ryan.  Old-timers:

Eddie Collins- LICENSED IDOL
Honus Wagner- SHOW RANGE, NU?
Lefty Grove- GET OVER FLY
Duke Snider- SINKER DUDE
Jackie Robinson-BONNIE AIR JOCKS
Roy Campanella-ACE PAYROLL MAN
Pete Rose- TEE POSER
Sandy Koufax- KAYO SAX FUND
Bob Gibson- BONG IS BOB (he did shine in the summer of love, didn't he?)

owen - Sunday, February 03 2008 @ 10:59 PM EST (#179668) #
In Future News:

Joba Chamberlain is doomed to be a Malaria Bench Job.
Clay Buchholz will be a Lazy Chub Loch.  (A Chub is a fat, coarse-fleshed fish, and a Loch, of course, is a lake ... so this makes tons of sense, don't worry.)
Jon Lester a Loner Jest (sometimes clubhouse pariahs have successful careers, but the Sox can't like what this anagrammatic portends)
Looks like Ian Kennedy will have similar problems with his mates in New York (Ye Dank Nine)
Phil Hughes says "Hi ... Hugs Help" (emotional problems, looks like)

Based on the above, I would be willing to say that the Jays have the East locked up for the next little while.  However, I am nervous about Jacoby Ellsbury (also known as Bluejays Lob Cry ... I don't really know what that means yet, but it seems bad).

Let's Build the Anagramatic All-Stars | 26 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.