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Click through to this modern re-imagining of the classic Abbott & Costello baseball routine, "Who's on First?" Written by PeteyHendrix for the Red Reporter -- and discovered/re-published here thanks to Baseball Think Factory -- it's one of the cleverest, funniest damn things ever. I don't normally laugh out loud while reading Da Stuff on Da Interwebz, but in this case, I was guffawing so much that my wife in the room next door came over to find out what was wrong. It's brilliant.

Feel free to add suggestions, if you have any, on Hu -- um, that is, who -- else might be incorporated here.And seriously, don't just skim it. It's worth the time for a close, five-minute read! 



This is genius. Treat yourself! | 20 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
rtcaino - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 12:09 AM EST (#251940) #
I LOL'd also. Thanks for sharing!

whiterasta80 - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 09:53 AM EST (#251945) #
whiterasta80 - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 10:05 AM EST (#251946) #

I think there was potential for inclusion of the following players: Justin Smoak, Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter, Andres Blanco, Chris Getz, Dan Uggla, Antonio Bastardo, Phil Coke, Sean Doolittle, and Scott Downs.

Mike Green - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 10:14 AM EST (#251947) #
Elvis ought to be at short.
bpoz - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 10:40 AM EST (#251948) #
Who is the catcher?
hypobole - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 10:58 AM EST (#251949) #
Hu's not the catcher.
bpoz - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 11:31 AM EST (#251951) #
Now I cannot stop myself.

Bench is old but Salty.

Hu takes the line up card out? Butter for Baker...Cookie for Valentine.

John Northey - Thursday, February 16 2012 @ 01:03 PM EST (#251956) #
But who is at short ... no he is at second for Weeks.

Catcher and short weren't covered I don't think but I do like the Jays content ... well, a bit out of date for Jays but I do like Camp humour.

If he was still at short A-Rod would work nicely in the story... if the second baseman is throwing the ball to short who does he throw, Hu is throwing it to A-Rod...why would he toss it to a rod instead of the shortstop...well, we're playing A-Rod at short today so Wright can play at third...well, a rod won't get to many balls...true, but at least he can hit...
bpoz - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 09:23 AM EST (#251985) #
This is fun. Thanks.
Mick Doherty - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 10:35 AM EST (#251991) #
Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't catcher and short not covered in the original A&C routine? No, wait, the shortstop was "I don't give a damn," but I don't recall a catcher ...
mathesond - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 12:13 PM EST (#251998) #
The catcher was either Today or Tomorrow (the other one was pitching)
Chuck - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 12:18 PM EST (#251999) #
"I don't give a damn,"

I recall it as darn, not damn. Maybe they had a couple of variations.
James W - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 01:36 PM EST (#252000) #

If you need a refresher on the original.
vw_fan17 - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 02:04 PM EST (#252001) #
Very cute!

I think there's room for the following catchers:
Bard (you have a singer catching?)
Buck (he's worth just a dollar?)
Flowers (why are there flowers at a game?)
Fox (he's a sly one!)
Lucy (why is a girl catching?)

Mike Green - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 03:01 PM EST (#252002) #
Lucy can't be the catcher, that's Schroeder's job.   And what's with that anyways, a catcher who plays Beethoven?  I haven't met one yet...

In case you're wondering, the Peanuts' lineup is here

whiterasta80 - Friday, February 17 2012 @ 03:07 PM EST (#252003) #
Pitcher was Today, Catcher was tomorrow I believe.
Mick Doherty - Saturday, February 18 2012 @ 02:16 AM EST (#252010) #

 a catcher who plays Beethoven?  I haven't met one yet...

Michael. if I could. I'd intrduce you to Moe Berg. He could do just about everything (except hit!) ...

Geoff - Sunday, February 19 2012 @ 10:30 AM EST (#252029) #
Reporter: I am curious now. Do you know you your starting catcher is?
Manager: Starting catcher will probably be a rookie. I think you had the name there; Quiruz or Quiroz, something like that.
Reporter: No I am curious I said.
Manager: You're going to be my starting catcher?
Reporter: No, I am asking who is going to be the starting catcher.
Manager: How old are you? I wouldn't peg you for a rookie.
Reporter: I'm thirty-two but that doesn't matter. Please answer my question.
Manager: Look, kid, you're still going to have to win the job.
Reporter: I have a job, but lately I'm considering a career change. Who's your catcher?
Manager: Don't tell me you want to give up baseball because you think Hu will take your job? He's a second baseman!
Reporter: No other sport could be this infuriating. Please tell me the name of your starting catcher now.
Manager: Why should I do that?
Reporter: Because I'm curious.
Manager: [mumbles to self] These rookies get more self-righteous every ****in' year. [to 'quiroz'] You want to know who my starting catcher will be, you will have to show me something.
Reporter: What must I do?
Manager: Warm up with Yu first.
Reporter: Huh?
Manager: Go out to the bullpen and ask Yu to warm you up.
Reporter: I don't understand what you're asking me to do.
Manager: I want to see Yu pitch and observe your receiving skills.
Reporter: How could I pitch and receive? Do you make these demands on every one who asks you for the name of a starting player? Are you crazy?
Manager: Calm down there, son. Am I hearing that you have a problem with Yu? He's not crazy. I just want to see how well you catch the ball. I'll pitch that bucket of balls at you myself if you're more comfortable with that.
Reporter: I'd like to pitch that bucket of balls at you.
Manager: Why would you pitch to Yu? That makes no sense. Yu's a pitcher.
Reporter: I can't believe "you's" a manager. First you're trying to tell me I should be a catcher, now you're telling me that I should be a pitcher.
Manager: I think one of the coaches told me that English is not your first language. But it's funny that I can't tell you have any accent at all.
Reporter: Real funny. You have quite the wit.
Manager: Yes, it was Whitt that told me about your history.
Reporter: You are such a putz.
Manager: Yu's starting today but Putz is closing.
Reporter: Please no more.
Manager: Nomar is at shortstop, yes.
Reporter: **** you.
Manager: ...dom-ay. Yeah, Fukudome is in center field today.
Reporter: I'm not playing this game with you any more, all right?
Manager: Wright is at third base.
Reporter: ....
Manager: What's the matter?
Reporter: It's just not worth it.
Manager: Werth is in right field.
Reporter: Grrr...fine, left?
Manager: Dunn in left, until we can return Holliday there.
Reporter: When will your left fielder get back from holiday?
Manager: No. Holliday will get the job back from Dunn. Fielder remains at first base.
Reporter: When will the holiday be done?
Manager: I hope that never happens. We like Holliday better, frankly. We'd be sad to see Holliday become Dunn.
Reporter: When the holiday's finished, who will be your left fielder?
Manager: You should ask the general manager that question.
Reporter: I cringe to ask. What might his name be?
Manager: Beane.
Reporter: No, be. Fine, whatever, what has his name *been*?
Manager: Pretty famous since Brad Pitt played him in a movie.
Reporter: I'm getting tired of asking questions.
Manager: Does this mean you're ready to put on the tools of ignorance?
Reporter: I hate baseball.
Manager: Hey! This is a good team and you should show some respect. In a few days, we'll have Weeks. Soon after that, we can have Holliday. And if he can get his act together, we will be playing with Milton Bradley by midseason. You better start taking baseball more seriously if you want to be part of a winner here.
Reporter: I can't believe how ridiculous you sound.
Manager: Let me ask you something. Do you want to know the secret to surviving in this game?
Reporter: I'm curious.
Manager: Yes, I'm Howe. As I was saying, you need to be alert and focused at all times to survive.
Reporter: I think I just want to get drunk now.
Manager: You're not listening to me.
Reporter: If I punched you in the face, would you have me charged with assault?
Manager: I am trying to help you.
Reporter: You are?
Manager: Yes.
Reporter: Please tell me, how are you trying to help me? I can't see how.
Manager: I'm standing right here.
Geoff - Sunday, February 19 2012 @ 10:32 AM EST (#252030) #
Before anyone else points out, I am annoyed at my own mistake on the first line, should read: Do you know *who* your starting catcher is?

Ah well.
Mike Green - Sunday, February 19 2012 @ 11:15 AM EST (#252032) #
Nice, Geoff.
This is genius. Treat yourself! | 20 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.