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When you have more than one Molina brother, you know what you're going to get in terms of Jays-Angels coverage: Jobu. Somewhat relieved that he didn't have to write about a Roy Halladay no-hitter (or a Jeff Weaver no-no), here's Mr. Buscemi himself with another one of his articles:

This report isn't my fault, I SWEAR!

This isn’t my A-game; for that I must apologize. This is more like Al Pacino in Two For the Money. I mean, sure there’s a scene where he STARTS YELLING, BUT KEEPS PEFERCT INTONATION IN HIS VOICE, but it’s not his A-game. I’m Frank Menechino pitching. On Friday, Rob asks me if I can write up a report on the Angles series. I tell Rob I really have no time, Saturday and Sunday are devoted to my one year anniversary celebrations with Lady Jobu (I know, I know, I can’t believe she put up with me this long either) and Monday I’ll be sleeping in and then putting in a half day at work. But what pretty much happened is the roster reached the bottom of the barrel, lifted it up, and then found me napping under there with Corey Feldman and told me I was all they had left. So here I am.

I think I partly brought this on myself though, by creating the WILDLY POPULAR (in my mind) Too Many Molinas! Show.

So Rob told me to just whip one of those up with the MOST gracious help of NFH who lent me some of his fantastic photography. So, who am I to not give the people what they want? But like any good artist, I’m going to make people wait for the classics they want to see and show some self-gratifying new stuff. Allow me to introduce my loser sidekick Rick:

Rick and I tend to make what normal people would call, stupid compulsive bets with one another. Nothing as respectable as “I can hit 4 free throws in a row for 100 bucks.” No, we deal in things out of our control, and we always use our favourite currency: Hamburgers. I can’t remember them all, but I remember some of the better ones such as Rick betting Larry Walker would hit 30 HR in 2005 and me betting he wouldn’t with a burger on the line (15 homeruns later, I’m a happy guy). Or my favourite, how I bet him at the START of the 2004 NHL season that my favourite team, the Tampa Bay Lighting, would win the Stanley Cup that season to the tune of 5 hamburger COMBOS (I ate well that week). Well, while pulling out my hair thinking of something quick to write for this report, I accidentaly came across an old folded piece of paper that I wrote on while Rick and I were driving down to the Dome on July 30, 2005 to see Dustin McGowan’s MLB debut against the Texas Rangers. We made these bets on the way down, but one thing I must ask you to remember while you read them is we take these bets deadly SERIOUSLY. We pick fairly unlikely things but by god, if one of them happened I swear to you we would make due on the wager. So with that out of the way, see how close we came to ruining our lives:

-If Dustin McGowan throws a no-hitter or a shutout: Rick buys himself a McGowan jersey
-If Dustin McGowan throws a perfect game: Rick buys a 94 Devil Rays jersey, puts MCGOWAN on the back and gives it to Joe
-If the not-scheduled-to-pitch Gustavo Chacin throws a no hitter: Rick buys Joe In The Action season tickets for one year
-If Ken Huckaby plays the infield or an infielder plays the outfield: Rick buys a Rush CD but can only listen to it in his car
-If Ken Huckaby hit for the cycle: Joe buys home/away/alternate Ken Huckaby jerseys
-If John Wasdin hits a homerun: Rick takes himself and Joe to spring training next year
-If Reed Johnson hits a homerun: Rick buys Joe a pitcher of beer
-If Gregg Zaun hits a homerun: Joe buys Joe a pitcher of beer
-If Joe winds up on Conan again: Joe gets to go up to Rick’s parents cottage for a week
-If Joe winds up on the Jon Stewart show: Rick buys 100 level season tickets for Joe
-If hoops/yo-yo say Happy Birthday Rick: Rick buys Joe a 100 level ticket (I so could have rigged that one)
-If a bench fight breaks out: Rick buys one of those “challenge steaks” at Lone Star
-If a Blue Jay batter is forced to pitch this game: Rick buys a Ron Gardenhire jersey
-If Ken Huckaby pitches: Joe buys a Roberto Alomar Tampa Bay Devil Rays jersey
-If the game is cancelled for any reason: Rick quits computer science and devotes his life to becoming a police officer
-If we meet a former Blue Jay: Rick can chose any profession he wants, but must make a serious attempt to moonlight as a magician

And now... a very special episode of:

TOO MANY MOLINAS! (Starring Dan Shulman as “Dad”)

The series began innocently enough. Bengie was excited to play against his brother Jose for the first time. It was a big step for Bengie to be away from his brother, but Dad assured him he would take good care of Jose. Yadier was on his way over from St. Louis but he watched the game in a very clever disguise...

That game couldn’t have gone any better for Bengie and his new friends the Blue Jays. They won huge and there were high fives all around to celebrate.

But Jose was mad at Bengie! He said:

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How could you do that to me Bengie? You know I am trying hard to live up to YOUR legacy and you embarrass me and my team like this? I should have know, dad always liked YOU best! Look at J.C.... he won’t even talk to anyone!”
Bengie got very mad at his brother and said many things he never would have normally said. He said “it’s not MY fault my team’s so good and yours is so bad! Maybe if you could hit I wouldn’t sleep through half the game!”

And despite Jamie Campbell’s best efforts...

...the two brothers went to be that night very angry with each other, and with Dad calling the San Fran game, there was no one to mediate. The next day Bengie and Jose weren’t even speaking to each other.
Everyone noticed Bengie’s bad mood the next day at the ballpark. Reed Johnson called over to him
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Yo BENGIE!” said Reed. “Feeling a little down? If it will cheer you up, I’ll do my wicked awesome robot dance next time I’m up to bat!” But it didn’t work, Bengie bummed everyone out and the Blue Jays were shut out. Bengie was getting REALLY frustrated.
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They didn’t really have their eyes on the prize either. Reed was true to his word and showed Bengie his wicked awesome robot dance in the game.
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It didn’t cheer him up, but Johnny Mac was AMAZED
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Adam Kennedy was a little TOO impressed with Reed’s dance
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Call me??”

Dad called up Bengie that night after he saw the boxscore. “What’s wrong Bengie? Jose told me you’re mad at him, are my boys fighting again?” Bengie explained to Dad how Jose was always jealous of Bengie and it was starting to frustrate him. “Don’t you see Bengie?” explained Dad. “Jose just gets jealous because he tries to hard to be just like you! He really looks up to you!” This made Bengie feel so much better! And sure enough, Jose came by Bengie’s room and brought Bengie his favourite videogame in the world that he left back in Cali.

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The two brothers played Captain Skyhawk well into the night. Bengie let Jose win but they felt much better. The next day Bengie was confident enough to give Janssen super pitching powers.

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

The next game was just as good as Bengie helped his good friend Roy Halladay throw a gem of a game, hit himself a homerun, and Jose was happy with his double. But the important thing is Bengie learned the importance of being a role model and Bengie inspired his friend Jamie Campbell of living out his dream and becoming a major league pitcher.

Jamie Campbell 0-22, 16.37 ERA, 4.44 WHIP, 0.01 K/9


Special thanks to NFH for his great pics and Rob for all his help.

PS. Please do two things for me:

Write in ALEX RIOS for the all star game! He deserves it (for real) and most people outside of Toronto would have voted for him if his name was on the ballot.

Sing the Baby Balooga song, but replace it with Bengie Molina.

Thanks once again to Jobu.

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The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Mike Green - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 09:37 AM EDT (#146549) #

Benjie Molina in the deep blue sea...swim so wild and swim so free...

Now that takes me back 10 years to car trips. If only I could get the damn song out of my head now.  The only cure is "under those Calle Johansons".

Named For Hank - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 09:48 AM EDT (#146551) #
Yeah, geez -- I have a sixteen month old son, and he's a fan of that song.  Now it's forever associated with The Greater Molina.
Adrock - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 10:26 AM EDT (#146554) #

Had a great view of Halladay dominating the Halos last night--8 rows up behind the Angels' batters box.

Everything was working, pitches were dipping late, and his velocity was up around 94 for a couple of heaters.  The sub-Mendoza line Angels looked completely lost out there.

The last two games took a combined 4 hours to play, and if you glue the first 4.5 innings of each game together, you get a double no hitter.  Take that Hippo Vaughn and that other guy whose name I forget!

In the 5th Jeff Weaver turned back into Jeff Weaver, as our Molina triumphed over their Molina.  Very satisfying, and even Eric Hinske got an RBI. 

$6.00 for a Haagen Dazs bar is an excruciating price any way you slice it, but the caramel crunch bar is very, very tasty. 

A defensive note:  Lyle Overbay has to play first base every day.  He is so far superior to Hinske or Hillenbrand that it shouldn't even be a question.  If there's a downside to Shea hitting .350, it would be Gibbons' desire to get him in the lineup, thus weakening our defense at 1b or RF whenever Hinske plays.

An offensive defensive note:  Russ Adams is in danger of turning into Steve Sax or Chuck Knoblauch (if they played SS).  He looked awful again yesterday, botching some routine throws.  This could be a huge problem for the Jays down the road.  I don't think it's a question of his arm, because the balls he was chucking into no-man's land were not throws from deep in the hole.  Brian Butterfield, work your magic!!!

Russ broke up Halladay's perfect game, and without Overbay, he could have had another E.  I don't think it'll work mid-season, but Aaron Hill might have to switch positions again.

Craig B - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 11:07 AM EDT (#146556) #

Write in ALEX RIOS for the all star game! He deserves it (for real) and most people outside of Toronto would have voted for him if his name was on the ballot.

I've been doing this (I think I'm up to 15 votes or so on, and I recommend it to everyone.  A player not on the ballot like Alex will really get a kick out of seeing his name in the tally lists that come around if we can get him several thousand votes (like he so richly deserves).

Now that takes me back 10 years to car trips. If only I could get the damn song out of my head now.  The only cure is "under those Calle Johansons".

OK, that does it.  I'ma gonna hunt you down, and I'ma gonna kill you.  The worst thing about "Calle Johanssons" is that it's not Kim Mitchell singing it in my head, it's a think Swedish accent.  But the song WILL NOT GO AWAY.

Craig B - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 11:09 AM EDT (#146557) #
Also, I encourage everyone to vote the full Molina/Molina ticket for the All-Star Game at catcher.  BENGIE/YADIER IN '06!
Jobu - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 11:17 AM EDT (#146558) #

I went to a Fred Penner book signing (...a few months ago) and he was taking song requests and someone asked him for Baby Balooga (not his song). He didn't know the lyrics but he went with it anywyas. Class act, all the way.

It was cool to see Doc flirt with a no-no. Now, I'm no baseball analyst (then again if Richard Griffen can call himself one, who can't?) but I think Doc's such a team player that we won't see him flirt with no hitters very often.  It seems like he truly believes "strike outs are fascist" and he doesn't go 110% every pitch.  To me it looks like he kinda goes 80-90%, saves his energy so he can pitch the whole game and trusts his team mates behind him to get the outs as long as he keeps the ball on the ground. And of course, the plus side of this is (as we've all seen so often)  when some men get on base Roy says "I'll take care of this one" and get's the K.  I really think Roy just wants to get his team the W as much as possible. Last night as an example Doc is shutting them down, his guys put up 5 runs for him, so when he comes back he knows he can take it a little easy now and not force himself to get a no-no, and voila, basehit to the first batter. Or it could just all be luck...

Jobu - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 11:26 AM EDT (#146559) #
Oh and I forgot to add,

Along with Baby Balooga, you can nicely sub Juan Acevado into Guantanaméra.
Cristian - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 11:30 AM EDT (#146560) #
Sing the Baby Balooga song, but replace it with Bengie Molina.

This reminds me of my favorite Orioles tradition.  Singing the Pina Colada song but replacing pina colada with Miguel Tejada.

If you like Miguel Tejada, and getting caught in the rain...

No, I've never gotten to sing it during a rain delay.

binnister - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 12:51 PM EDT (#146567) #

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the 'Called Shot' by Roy Halladay last night.

Adams had just botched an rather easy grounder and had allowed a base runner in the ninth with 1 out.

Halladay gives Adams a look and a point (with his glove).  Jamie wonders what that was about...Rance says (with some excitement in his voice) that Roy is telling Adams that 'the next one is coming to you and you're going to get a double play'.

Anderson hits the ball....right to Halladay.  Halladay starts the DP (Adams not involved) and the Jays win the game.

Alright, Alright.  So, it the reality wasn't  as glitzy as a Hollywood-esque ending, but a couple of things stood out for me:

1) The complete and utter confidence of Roy Halladay - though it wasn't a ground ball to Adams, it was a ground ball to that general side. 

2) Halladay:  The Leader- Roy could have given Adams a different kind of 'look', but instead he proped the kid up and almost 'arranged' things for Adams to be the hero.  THAT'S leadership.

Class Act

Mike Green - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 12:58 PM EDT (#146568) #

Giving Glaus the day off yesterday was a smart move by Gibbons.  Wells could probably use one in the next week or so, with Rios subbing in centre and Hinske in right.

Bruce Wrigley - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 01:13 PM EDT (#146569) #

 The complete and utter confidence of Roy Halladay - though it wasn't a ground ball to Adams, it was a ground ball to that general side. 

Juan Rivera is now 0-for-10 in his career against Doc, with three strikeouts.  I don't think he could hit him with a tennis racket, and I imagine that until he figures an adjustment Doc's going to be pretty much able to make him do what he wants.  Rivera looked totally helpless yesterday (groundout, groundout, strikeout, DP) - he also looked very bulky and slow both running to first and in the outfield, which makes me think he's not physically 100%.

Adrock - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 01:52 PM EDT (#146572) #

Mike G makes a good point.  Glaus has been historically terrible against weaver, so it's a good move to get him the day off against a tough (for him) matchup.

If anyone could bothered to check Vernon's career numbers against the next week's worth of starters, we might get a pretty good idea of when VW is going to sit.

While Cito Gaston will always be the greatest manager in Blue Jays history (until someone wins 3 world series), I think Gibbons has a chance to be the "best" since Bobby Cox, if you know what I mean.

Magpie - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 01:59 PM EDT (#146573) #
Excellent, Jobu! And did you not enjoy the moment when Bengie stomps on home plate, exchanges greetings with Hinske and Adams, and doesn't even look at his brother?  It was very cool...

Butt enough about you and your Molinas. Now it's time to pat me on the back...

I was in the house last night, and roughly fifteen minutes after the first pitch, I posted the following to the Chat:

Hey. This is interesting. First time I've seen Doc look like himself - the big step back at the beginning of his motion, the twist as he lifts his leg.... these things haven't quite been here yet.

That's what I normally expect to see from Doc. He starts with both feet on the rubber, and takes a big step backward with his left foot. When his left foot lands, he instantly pushes off with it to launch himself into his motion. His left leg lifts, and he does a very short and distinctive twist just before he launches forward towards the plate. I never see any of this from the centre field camera, but the whole thing has become awfully familiar from my seats in the park.

Until last night, I wasn't seeing the twist and I couldn't figure out why. Now I think it's because he wasn't making the big quick step backwards that kicks him into his delivery. As Mike Rutsey reported in the Sun this morning:

"This year everything looked slower, a little more methodical...We just tried to speed things up a bit. It kind of gives me a little more aggressive feeling... I tried to make my step back a little quicker, where in the past this year it has been short and slow."

He's back, kids.

Dave Till - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 02:31 PM EDT (#146576) #
Great article, Jobu.

Nice to see Halladay with his A game - you can always tell when he has it, as the batters are obligingly hitting five-hop ground balls on the first pitch.

It'll be difficult for him to get a no-hitter, as batters usually make contact - every now and again, one of those grounders is going to find a hole.

I like the idea of having Hillenbrand play third and first every now and again. He's not as good as Glaus or Overbay, but he's the backup if one of them gets hurt.

Pistol - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 03:18 PM EDT (#146577) #

I was almost crying from laughing so hard, expecially Shulman with hair and Campbell with the extended mustache.  It's too bad there wasn't a picture of Molina after the HBP.

The Jays game was secondary for me last night and seemingly every time I turned to the game it was at commercial (except for Rios crushing that frisbee).  Halladay is now one complete game under 2 hours behind Maddux (5-4) for his career.

Butt enough about you and your Molinas

Freudian slip or intentional?

Named For Hank - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 03:32 PM EDT (#146579) #
It's too bad there wasn't a picture of Molina after the HBP.

Oh, I have one -- Bengie is looking back accusingly at his brother.
Magpie - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 03:34 PM EDT (#146581) #
Freudian slip or intentional?

Uh... a man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional, they are portals to discovery.

Well, it worked for James Joyce...
Named For Hank - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 03:42 PM EDT (#146583) #

JOSE: That's what you get, bro.

JOSE: Aw crap, now I'm gonna get hit, right?
Leigh - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 03:48 PM EDT (#146584) #
Along with Baby Balooga, you can nicely sub Juan Acevado into Guantanamera.

Jobu, this is seriously effed up.  On CBC the other day, they were talking about mis-heard lyrics and noted the popular mal-lyric, "one ton tomato" (Guantanamera).  Oddly, I caught myself singing it over the past few days, but substituting "Juan Acevedo".  Seriously.  Has this been written on the Box before?  Is it so obvious?  How do non-twins have such a similar thought?  Can you account for your whereabouts in early January, 1980? Did I read that somewhere, forget about it, and then think that I made it up?
Jobu - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 04:45 PM EDT (#146588) #
If this is your attempt to scare me Leigh... mission accomplished.
Leigh - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 05:41 PM EDT (#146593) #
Scare you?!?  I've been sitting in the fetal position singing "under those Calle Johanssens" for the past hour just  trying  to get back to normal.
Leigh - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 06:01 PM EDT (#146595) #
Jobu, I just found this.  I've never seen that page before, but it's the only hit you get when you google the song name with the pitcher's name (the latter in quote marks).
Twilight - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 10:26 PM EDT (#146603) #
About Halladay not necessarily K'ing everyone: I think he subscribes to the same school of thought as Greg Maddux. Why throw 5-10 pitches to set someone up for a strikeout when you can just throw one and get a weak ground ball? Fewer pitches means the team can get back to hitting quicker, and shorter innings tend to have a greater demoralizing effect on the other team. I'd rather put up a fight and strike out on a good pitch than hit a weak grounder and have myself retired in 30 seconds.

In addition, fewer pitches means less stress on Doc's arm. Strikeouts also require more heaters, whereas grounders can be easily produced using offspeed pitches. This of course means that he will be injured much less (the line drive being a freak accident). And I think we can all agree with that line of thinking.
Magpie - Tuesday, May 09 2006 @ 10:39 PM EDT (#146605) #
Strikeouts also require more heaters, whereas grounders can be easily produced using offspeed pitches. This of course means that he will be injured much less

Well, not necessarily. Doc's sinking fastball is a groundball-inducing machine. Most strikeout pitchers get ahead with the fastball but get the K with something crooked. In Doc's case, it's his curve that gets the swinging strikes (or the bat on the shoulder called third strike.)

Many pitchers also seem to find that it's the stress of trying make a ball break that bothers their arms more than just throwing hard. Sliders are regularly blamed for leading to sore arms, but I've heard of arm miseries laid at the door of curveballs, splitters, screwballs, changeups, and spitballs. Everything in fact, except the fastball and the knuckleball.
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