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When you search for "Gene" at the greatness of, you receive no less than 121 returns on that search. And though I've never been into genetic modeling or even gene therapy, that seems a likely good pool of talent to build our latest entry in Baseball's Hall of Names.

So step back and put your hands together for ...

(seriously, sorry about the team name ...)

** indicates Hall of Famer (none)
* indicates All-Star

Manager Gene Mauch (1902-2037, 26 seasons, no flags)
Coach Gene Lamont (553-562, parts of 1992-2000)
Coach Gene Michael (206-200, 1981-82, '86-87; '81 AL pennant)
Player/Coach Gene Tenace (19-14, 1991 TOR)

C Gene Tenace* (also 1B; .241, 201 HR, 1969-83; '72 WS MVP)
1B Gene Larkin (.266, 266 RBI, 1987-93 MIN; two WS rings)
2B Gene DeMontreville (.303, 1894-1904)
SS Gene Alley* (also some 2B/3B; .254, 1963-73, two GG)
3B Gene Freese (.254, 115 homers, 1955-66)
LF Gene Moore Jr.* (.270, 1931, '33-45)
CF Gene Richards (.290, 247 SB, 1977-84)
RF Gene Clines (.277, 1970-79)
DH Gene Woodling* (.284, 147 HR, 1943, '46-62)

C Gene Desautels (.233, parts of 1930-46)
C/1B/OF Gene Oliver (.246, 93 homers, 1959-69)
IF Gene Baker* (.265, 1953-61)
OF Gene Stephens (.240, 1952-64)
3B/IF Gene Robertson (.280, parts of 1919-30; won ring, '28 NYY)
1B/UTIL Gene Paulette (.269, parts of 1911-20, all but C -- even 1/3 IP in '18)

RHSP Gene Conley* (91-96, 1952-63)
LHSP Gene Bearden (20-7, 1948 CLE; 45-38 career)
RHSP Gene Brabender (13-14, '69 Pilots; 35-43 career)
RHSP Gene Dale (18-17, 1915 CIN; 21-28 career)
RHSP Gene Krapp (40-47, 1911-12-14-15)

CL-RH Gene Garber (96-113, 218 saves, 1969-88)
RHRP Gene Harris (12-18, 26 saves, 1989-95)
RHRP Gene Pentz (8-9, 7 saves, 1975-78)
RHRP Gene Nelson (53-64, 28 saves, 1981-93)
LHRP Gene Walter (4-7, 4 saves, 1985-88)

Of course, many of the aforementioned 121 returns are players who had the middle name Gene or Eugene -- and sure, we'd love to anchor our roster with All-Stars like 3B Kenneth Gene Caminiti, C Elston Gene Howard, OF David Gene Parker and bullpen mainstays Ronald Gene Davis and Eddie Gene Fisher -- but that is not to be, as we will consider only players with that first name ... well, with one sort of exception ...

If the player had the middle name Gene or Eugene, but at least showed the good sense to go by "Gene," he is eligible for this team, so welcome aboard, Leonard Eugene Alley, Fury Gene Tenace and Henry Eugene Bearden, among others like Glen Eugene Stephens, Tyrone Eugene Harris and Wayland Eugene Nelson. On the other side of that, however, those with the first name Gene who went by something else entirely -- we're looking at you, Gene Ellis "Mickey" Klutts -- do not qualify for this roster.

Though Conley is the only All-Star in this team's rotation, Bearden has the only 20-win season -- but Conley won championship rings not only with the 1957 World Series champion Milwaukee Braves but also with the 1959-61 NBA champion Boston Celtics, the only man to double up as a champ in those two leagues. And hey, #3 starter Brabender was 6'6", 225#, so could probably hoop a little himself ...

That's some braintrust -- looks like it really is all about having the right "genes" -- though to be blunt, there's not a lot of ultimate success in having the persons of Mauch, Michael, Lamont and Tenace on the bench. Of the four, only Michael took his team to a World Series, and none have a ring as a manager -- though Tenace alone did manage to gather four rings as a player. Combined, these four managed a career W-L mark of 2680-2813, so, um, maybe it's not all about the genes where managing is concerned.

All four of those managers could fill player/coach roles, and indeed Tenace does start behind the plate, but we have plenty of alternatives to C Lamont (.278, parts of 1970-75), IF Mauch (.239, parts of 1944-57) and even the slick-fielding IF Michael (.228, 1966-75), so those guys can focus on, you know, actually managing ...

Larkin had the good fortune to be the Kent Hrbek alternate for the Minnesota teams that surprised for two World Series rings, one in Larkin's rookie year, the other in his final major league season. And sure, it was only three hits in five at-bats, but that career .600 World Series batting average over those two trips sure looks nice on Larkin's resume ... The unfortunately-surnamed Krapp went 13-9 for the 1911 Indians, then after a 2-5 dip the next season, ended up in the Federal League, winning 16 with the 1914 Buffalo Buffeds and losing 19 for the 1915 Buffalo Blues ...

Is it career-defining to point out that Gene Oliver was once traded even-up for Bob Uecker? ... Do we need an owner for this team? Well, he was actually a 2-for-9 cuppajoe 2B for the 1912 Phillies, but this is all about names and could we do any better (be sure to check out this guy's middle name and think "Bronx bluster") Eugene Gass Steinbrenner?

Gene, Gene the Baseball Machine | 2 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Mick Doherty - Thursday, November 08 2007 @ 02:25 PM EST (#175948) #

Do we need an owner for this team?

Come to think of it, if the answer is "yes" for real, then the solution is probably Gene Autry!

Jeremy - Friday, November 09 2007 @ 08:21 AM EST (#175972) #

If you need an owner, you also need someone to represent the players. I suggest Gene Orza. 

Gene Autry could also sing the national anthem at the home opener.

Gene, Gene the Baseball Machine | 2 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.