Funny how things work. The club installs Field Turf, and we guess that the major effect will be to slow down balls in the outfield causing fewer triples. It might end up that way, but right now the Jays are 2nd in the majors in triples. Reed Johnson's leadoff triple set the tone in last night's game.

Did I mention that the Jays swept the Sox? Blew them away. Easily. It's chest-thumping time.

Our own Gitz warned us that Lilly would break our hearts. (He also said, with reference to 2004, that "At worst, the Jays will do what they did [in 2003]." But it's well-established that Gitz is a far better writer than he is a psychic.) Lilly certain did that in the early going, missing almost all of spring training (like last season) and then really stinking up the joint for the first few games (the joint was only slightly malodourous in the early going last season). Just when everyone was ready to write him off, he goes and figures it out, reeling off 6 innings of 5-hit, 1-run ball against the Nationals, and then 6 2/3 innings of 4-hit, 1-run ball against the Bloody Foot Garments.

I guess the lesson is "Never say never." Or maybe it's "Lilly will break your heart." Either way.

Is there a better thing in this life than to crush your enemies? To hear the sweet music of their cries and lamentations, the wailing of their women?

Conan like tonight's game. Plenty good.

For only the second time this year does a Jays series at home not end up in a sweep, be it for or against the Jays. A sweep certainly would have been nice over the Nationals, especially with the Yankees capitalising on Mets defensive blunders to pull even with the Jays in the standings. Although it’s a bit disappointing to not win with Josh Towers facing a struggling Tomo Okha, there are very few teams in the majors against whom a series victory is not good news.

Making a special weekend appearance in place of Pepper Moffatt today, I decided to tape yesterday's game and replay it a few times to see what I could do. The results may bore you, so read on!

Sometimes all you need is a timeout. Instead of going out there again and again, and screwing up again and again - just stop. Take a walk. Clear your mind. Change your routine.

Very rarely, there's a baseball game that I just can't get excited about. Sadly, the finale against the Twins was one of those.

Like Dave Bush, your humble correspondent is now 0-4 this season, and is the only winless member of the Batter's Box rotation. Appropriately, then, I have some nice things to say about my on-field shadow later in this Game Report.

A tough loss for the Jays last night, one they might easily have won had a few breaks fallen their way. They hit the ball hard and put plenty of runners on base, but they just couldn’t break through against pretty fortunate Twins starter Kyle Lohse.

When I checked in with blogger/writer, Twins fanatic and occasional Box contributor Aaron Gleeman during the sixth inning of the Jays' 10-3 win over the Minnesota Twins, the first words out of his mouth were "by the way, I hate you and your whole damn country," a statement he refused to back down from even when British Columbian Justin Morneau buried a long solo homer into the right field bleachers.

A solid win against an excellent pitcher and a (potentially) dangerous lineup, and some signs of life from Vernon Wells. Put that together with effective pitching from Doc and Batista and great defense from Reed Johnson and O-Dog and this was a good day for the Jays.

You really think they like to rock in space?
Well I don't know
What do you know?
What do you hear?

Haven't we seen this movie before?

The Jays had a day off yesterday, but welcomed a new member to their bullpen, Scott Downs. And just in the nick of time for this 3rd installment of the bullpen report. If that hadn't happened, I would have resorted to the Friday the 13th Fake Game Report.

You know the one. The War of the Worlds, the Clash of Pretenders. The Las Vegas Aliens of Caesar's Palace ("Working for the Clampdown since before you were born") vs. The New York Yankees ("It's a thin line between superstar and superannuated"). Believe me, you should be thanking Scott Downs for saving you.

This, of course, is supposed to be Joe's Game Report. I was at the ball park, doing my STATS gig, taking abuse from Fordin, and just making a few notes.

I got carried away.

If you're a fan of the World's Strongest Man competition, make sure you note Roy Halladay's starts on your calendar.