The winter holidays are great in so many ways, but for baseball fans, frankly -- except for the Winter Meetings, which are already over -- they are a time of reflection and anticipation and ... ah, hell, a time of baseball-free boredom.
So maybe if we all close our eyes and hope real hard, St. Nicholas will bring us ...
... a Hall of Names team? Yes, that's right, it's time to see what can be done in structuring a team of the 39 men who bore the first (given), middle or last (family) name of "Nicholas." Sorry, John Nicklaus Hoover -- that's spelled wrong, and anyway, your 11.57 ERA in two brief appearances with the 1990 Rangers probably wouldn't get you on this team.
And apologies, to the 10 guys named "Nichols" and seven more named "Nicholson" -- close but no cigar, even for Hall of Fame RHSP (and briefly manager) Charles "Kid" Nichols, though his 361 career wins would look awfully nice at the front of this team's rotation. And Nick Bierbrodt, who won 355 fewer games than "Kid" had a world of potential, but his name is "Nick," not Nicholas ... the same goes for Nick Neugebauer and Nick Capra, among others.
Anyway, given all that, it's time to "lean your ear this way" and meet ...
The Jolly Old St. Nicholas(es)
** indicates Hall of Famer (there are none)
* indicates All-Star (just two!)
MGR Nicholas Emanuel "Uncle Nick" Young
(25-53, 1871-72 Washington Olympics, '73 Blue Legs)
Starting Lineup
C Thomas Victor Nicholas Satriano (.225, 1961-70, played all IF pos.)
1B Nicholas Raymond Thomas Etten* (last NYY 1B to lead AL in homers, 1944)
2B Nicholas Anthony Green (only active pos. player at .254 through 2005)
SS Nicholas Joseph "Mickey" Witek (.277, mostly with 1940-47 NYG)
3B Nicholas Andrew Esasky (.250, 122 homers, 1983-90)
LF Nicholas Dominic "Dim Dom" Dallessandro (.267, 1937-47)
CF Gino Nicholas Cimoli* (.265 in 10 seasons; 1957 All-Star)
RF Joseph Nicholas Delahanty (.238/4/100 for 1907-09 STL)
Bench
C Nicholas Nicholie Koback (.121, 1953-55 PIT)
C/OF/IF Joe Flynn (.246, three teams, 1884)
2B Nicholas Alexander Kahl (.215, 40 games with 1905 Cleveland Naps)
3B Nicholas Polly (.200, 1937 BRK, 1945 BOS)
OF Nicholas Joseph Tremark (.247, 1934-36 BRK)
OF Henry Nicholas "Tomato Face" Cullop (.249, 1926-31)
Starting Rotation
RHSP Nicholas Maddox (23-8 for 1908 PIT; 43-20 career)
LHSP Nicholas Altrock (83-75, 1898-1924; 43-25 for 1905-06 CHW)
RHSP Edward Nicholas "Cannonball" Crane (72-96, 1884-93; three years 19+ losses)
RHSP Nicholas "Jumbo" Strincevich (40-32, 1944-46 PIT; 46-49 career)
LHSP Jon Nicholas Willhite (6-12, four teams, 1963-37, 29 starts, 58 games)
Bullpen
CL-LH Frederick Nicholas "Fritz" Coumbe (38-38, 13 saves in eight years)
RH-SET Nicholas D. Regilio (only active pitcher 1-6 through 2005 with TEX)
LH-SET Ambrose Nicholas Puttmann (8-9, 1903-06; 2nd in 1905 AL with one save)
RHRP William Nicholas Snyder (2-2, 3.77, 1919-20 WSH)
LHRP Nicholas Dumovich (3-5, 4.61 for 1923 CHC)
RH-LONG Emory Nicholas "Bubba" Church (36-37; 15-11 for 1951 PHI)
Nicked and "Cut"
C/OF Nicholas Joseph Wise (0-for-3 for 1888 Boston Beaneaters)
C Nicholas Testa (1 game, 0 AB, 1958 SFG)
2B Patrick Nicholas Capri (1-for-7 for 1944 BSN)
3B Nicholas Thomas Picciuto (.135, 1945 PHI)
3B Nicholas Reeder (0-for-2 for 1891 Louisville Colonels)
OF Nicholas Edward Goulish (3-for-12 for 1944-45 PHI)
RHSP Frank Joseph Nicholas Dasso (4-5, 1945-46 CIN)
RHRP Melvin Nicholas "Country" Held (0-0, 5.14 in four games with 1956 BAL)
RHRP Constantine Nicholas "Gus" Keriazakos (2-5, 1950 CHW, '54 WSH, '55 KCA)
LHRP Paul Nicholas "Lefty" Masterson (1-0, 1940-42 PHI)
RHRP John Nicholas Pyecha (0-1, 10.12 for 1954 CHC)
RHRP Edwin Nicholas Weiland (0-0, 8.25, 1940, '42 CHW)
Nick Notes ... Because there was nobody worthy of the position -- with Tremark's career .247 and Flynn's career.246 averages the leading "bench marks" and all -- we dropped the DH and went with a six-man bench to support the starting eight and and expanded 11-man pitching staff (that's six in the bullpen, if you're scoring from home) ... Esasky at the hot corner? Yes, he came up playing that position for the Reds and marked 230 of 806 games at 3B in his career ... That's actually even a bit better than Witek at short, as he played 89 of 564 games there, but is clearly the best option which should give you some idea about the Nicked-up (har!) middle infield ...
Nicks apparently earn -- well, what else to call them, nick-names (appropriately enough) as Tomato-Face and Dim-Dom could patrol the OF behind Jumbo, Cannonball and Bubba on the mound, with Fritz, Country, Gus and the unimaginitively tagged Lefty waiting down in the bullpen ... "Cannonball" Crane racked up three years of 19+ losses in his short career ... Nicholas Nicholie Koback hit just .121 in part of three seasons in the 1950s, but how can he not make this team with THAT name? ...
During the games that run late or start at 7:05, of course, these are the "Nicks at Night" ... Singing the national anthems? Stevie Nicks, of course ...
So, Bauxites, how do we quit -- er, improve -- this Nick-o-team habit?
