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Not too long ago, Batter's Box ran a poll regarding the "best science fiction television series/franchise." There were nine candidates listed (all received votes), and the varied tastes of Bauxites everywhere led to no less than eighteen additional shows receiving what amounted to "write-in" votes.

In one of the least surprising poll results of all time, the Star Trek franchise ran away with the poll, picking up more than 40 percent of the total votes, nearly three times the total accumulated by the second-place finisher, Battlestar Galactica.

As mentioned in the poll, this is all in the interest of an ongoing Hall of Names series ... and as such, each of the leading vote-getters will get a turn. Heck, Star Trek has already had its own Hall of Names day in the sun (or under the stars), one of just a few television shows -- along with stalwarts like Happy Days and M*A*S*H, as well as less conventional favorites like The Simpsons and Sesame Street -- to be so honored.

But for all that, since I am doing the series, I get to decide who goes next, and with all due respect to BSG and other vote-getters, the greatest syndicated science fiction series/franchise in the history of English-language television is ...


Yes, the movie was only "okay," and yes, Richard Dean Anderson will always be MacGyver to some people, but Stargate, which is playing out its tenth and final season on the air right now (though its sister show Stargate: Atlantis will remain in production) inhabits a universe populated by characters with good baseball names like Carter, Jackson and O'Neill, so this should be a good ballclub. Let's step through the gate and find out by meeting ...

The Go'auld Diggers
(Note: if you don't watch the show, don't try to figure out the team name!)
**indicates Hall of Famer
*indicates All-Star
Stargate character equivalent shown at right in italics.

Executive ("Stargate Command") decision ... characters from both the original series and from Atlantis are eligible for this team ... nearly every major character on both shows has made some sort of crossover guest shot anyway ...

Starting Lineup
C Gary Carter** (three Gold Gloves, five Silver Sluggers) Lt. Col. Samantha Carter
1B Ben Taylor** (Negro League Hall of Famer) Teyla Emmagan
2B Bill Doran (.266, 209 SB in 12 years) Vala Mal Doran
SS Travis Jackson** (.291, 135 homers in 15 years) Dr. Daniel Jackson
3B Mike Lamb (.280, 57 homers through 2006) Dr. (Capt.) Carolyn Lam
LF Jeffrey Hammond* (.272, 110 homers in 13 years) Lt. Gen. George Hammond
CF Ken Landreaux* (.268, 91 homers, 145 SB in 11 years) Maj. Gen. Hank Landry
RF Paul O'Neill* (.288, 281 homers, 1269 RBI, 4192 mood swings) Maj. Gen. Jack O'Neill
DH  John Mayberry* (1B hit .253, 255 homers) Col. Harry Maybourne

C John Sheppard (1873, three games, 0-for-11)  Lt. Col. John Sheppard
IF Dave McKay (original Jay hit .229 in eight MLB seasons) Dr. Rodney McKay
IF Ian Kinsler (.286/14/55 as 2006 rookie) Sen./VPOTUS Robert Kinsey
OF  Kevin Mitchell* (1989 NL MVP hit 239 career homers) Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell
OF/C/UTIL Charlie Dexter (.261, 1896-1903) Ronon Dex
UTIL/MGR George Davis** (.295 over 20 years) Major Paul Davis

Starting Rotation
RHSP Jack Quinn (247-218) Jonas Quinn
LHSP Whitey Ford** (236-106) Lt. Aiden Ford
RHSP Josh Beckett (57-45 through 2006) Dr. Carson Beckett
LHSP Mike Caldwell (137-130; 22-9 in 1978) Col. Steven Caldwell
RHSP Charles "Chick" Fraser (175-212) Dr. Janet Fraiser

CL-RH  Roric Harrison (30-35, 10 saves) CMSgt.Walter Harriman
RHRP Floyd Wooldridge (2-4, 1955 STL) NID Agent Richard Woolsey
LHRP Roy Weir (6-4 in four years) Dr. Elizabeth Weir
RHRP Carlos Silva (42-32, mostly as SP) Master Sergeant Sylvester "Sly" Siler
RHRP Amaury Telemaco (23-35 in nine years)Teal'c

Wormhole Extremeties ... Again, if you watch the show, you get that subhead; if not, well, don't worry about it ... We do have to take some liberties with names, as there has never been a major league player named Siler, Harriman, Woolsey, Kinsey, or even Landry, much less "Teal'c" -- but especially in the latter case, we can't really move this team forward without the big Jaffa being represented, so we'll go with some "that's sort of close" names ... Additionally, there are some family names on the show, like "Fraiser" and "Lam" that are matched by big leaguers historically, only with a slightly  different spelling ... If you have better suggestions, please feel free to make them known! ...

To balance the scales a little, we do have one exact match on the roster, in backup catcher John Sheppard, who, granted, only had a brief big league cuppajoe in the 19th century, but who does match precisely, as far as names are concerned, the alpha male lead on Atlantis  ... And sure, maybe it's a reach to have Teyla Emmagan give us Ben Taylor, but it does put a Hall of Famer -- granted, one many of you have probably never heard of -- at first base ... Fraser, not an exact match in spelling, is the fifth starter and a two-time 20-game winner -- oh, and also a three-time 20-game loser ...

Sorry, Joe Carter fans -- he'd be an upgrade to the OF, sure, but we'll go with the Hall of Famer behind the plate in this case ... Dale Mitchell was an All-Star OF, but loses out his roster spot to the clubhouse calamity of Kevin Mitchell, also an All-Star, but an MVP to boot ... And hey, if Reggie Jackson doesn't merit a roster spot, what does Homer Joe C. have to complain about? Actually, The Straw That Stirs the Drink would look quite nice on this team, but we have a chance to have a Hall of Fame shortstop fill the geeky-hunky Jackson scientist role, so we'll go with Travis ...

Yes, Chris Hammond would look nice in the bullpen, but Jeffrrey was a legitimate All-Star and definitely helps the outfield ...  Okay, Ken Landreaux is a bit of a stretch, but would you believe there has never been a big leaguer named Landry? Maybe we could adopt America's Team coach Tom Landry, who played for football's New York Giants anyway, but he'd have a lot more trouble in CF than the All-Star ex-Dodger/Twin/Angel, who was once the centerpiece of a trade for Rod Carew ... There's never been a Maybourne in MLB history, either, but we're more than happy to stretch for former Jay slugger John Mayberry, who is this team's DH ... Kinsler's inclusion on the team very much made me want to make a W.P. or Ray Kinsella reference, but nothing comes to mind, so that right there will have to do ...

There has also never been a Harriman to play in the big leagues, though there have been six Harringtons and six Harrisons -- and we'll go with the latter to make Roric the closer ... In fact, the whole bullpen, with one exception, is complosed of not-quite-exact-matches, though the only real "reach" is Amaury Telemaco for Teal'c -- but hey, not only does the ballplayer have a name that sounds like a Stargate character, but also as mentioned earlier, how could we put together this team without mentioning the big Jaffa played by Christopher Judge?

Okay, if you understood that last sentence, then -- like me -- you watch the Stargate serieses far too often! ...

Stepping Through The Gate | 6 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
CeeBee - Sunday, February 11 2007 @ 03:38 PM EST (#163377) #
I think I'd take Tip O'Neill over Paul in the outfield.
Ken Kosowan - Sunday, February 11 2007 @ 07:33 PM EST (#163383) #
Maybe I missed something. But why not have Reggie Jackson on if you have Travis Jackson?
Mick Doherty - Sunday, February 11 2007 @ 09:27 PM EST (#163396) #
Fair question, Ken. I usually note this in a HoN story, but one of the standard rules is that, unless noted otherwise for some reason, a name is only used once. If there were two characters named Jackson on the show, we could use Travis and Reggie but since there is really just the one, we are forced to choose and I went with the shortstop.
Ken Kosowan - Sunday, February 11 2007 @ 10:35 PM EST (#163404) #
I don't blame you actually after looking through baseball reference. There's really not much at all over at shortstop with the selected criteria.

The Hall of Names had gotten a bit dull for me, but this thematic revival is making it interesting once more.

Have you ever done a All-Secret Identity team? I.e., Parker, Wayne, Kent, etc...?

Ryan C - Sunday, February 11 2007 @ 11:47 PM EST (#163410) #
Not main characters on the show, but recurring characters with possibilities:

Thorton Lee SP - (Thor)
Harlond Clift 3B - (Harlan)

Stepping Through The Gate | 6 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.