I had slumps that lasted into the winter.
-- Bob Uecker

Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener.
-- Billy Martin

The best thing about baseball is that you can do something about yesterday tomorrow.
-- Manny Trillo

Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.
--Wes Westrum

My friend the manager told me that he felt terrible about Gene Mauch. "He's been in this place for so long, and he won't give in to it and he won't walk away from it. This one's going to be very tough for him. He gets within one pitch and one run of the Series, but those 'ones are still there for him. I know Gene, and I know all the cigarettes that have been smoked and the drinks that have been drunk and the miles that have been paced over this kind of thing, down the years. He'll pay that price to get there, but now I don't know if it will ever happen for him. How do you go on?"
-- Roger Angell, writing about the 1986 ALCS. I'm pretty sure he's quoting Bill Rigney.

Batter's Box Tabs Guerrero, P. Martinez as
Greatest Montreal Player, Pitcher

In recent polling, the readers of Batter's Box Interactive Magazine displayed a preference for active players over the historical legends who wore the tri-coloured "M" of Les Expos before their recent move to Washington, D.C. to become the Nationals.

Vladimir Guerrero rocked past Tim Raines to nab "greatest player" while Pedro brushed back Dennis in a battle of Martinezes for the honour of "greatest pitcher."

Once in a while, you get a miracle.
-- Tony LaRussa

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.
-- Yogi Berra

Any time you think you have the game conquered, the game will turn around and punch you right in the nose.
-- Mike Schmidt

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.
-- Whitey Herzog

Have you ever thrown a ball 100 miles an hour? Everything hurts. Even your ass hurts.
-- Bob Gibson

Show me a guy who can't pitch inside and I'll show you a loser.
-- Sandy Koufax

I'm a little bit weird when it comes to baseball. If you'll recall:

• I dyed my hair royal blue for opening day 2003
• I panicked last year and almost burned a vintage 1985 baseball cap that I found in a closet, convinced that it was bad luck
• I abused my work resources to make, among other things, a gigantic Hammer of Thor for Chris Gomez

My new project requires the participation of as many of you as I can round up.

As usual, here's my monthly report card for the Blue Jays. Players are graded from a high of A+ (MVP calibre) to F (get thee gone, and never darken our door again).

For those of you who don't know, Jays closer Miguel Batista has been writing a column this year for ESPN's Spanish-language website, ESPN Deportes.