Colorado may not be the worst team in the National League, but they may be the dullest. Florida’s incendiary brand of roster management at least has a macabre entertainment value. In contrast, the Rockies lethargically trudge toward utter pointlessness.

This team is bad. So, instead of prattling on about whether Cory Sullivan can “take it to the next level,” I’d like to discuss what Colorado can do, if anything, to win in the future. If that doesn’t entice you to click the “[More]” link below, I also have a picture of two adorable cats.

The Los Angeles Film Festival

*Warning: the following preview was conceived of while the author was watching the Oscars on Sunday. This is most dangerous, as he has an unhealthy obsession with metaphor and often takes it much, much too far.

I get my thing in action (Verb!)
To be, to see, to feel, to live (Verb!)
That's what's happenin'
I put my heart in action (Verb!)
To run, to go, to get, to give (Verb!) You're what's happenin'
That's where I find satisfaction, yeah! (Yeah!)
— Verb: That's What's Happening
From "Schoolhouse Rock/Grammar Rock"

Now that we've worked our way through the 25 most common North American surnames, it's time to return to the "Themes" concept for Hall of Names inspiration ... and this theme is definitely action (word) packed!

Here on Batter's Box, our roster of contributors is filled with names that are also other parts of speech; Price and Furlong are nouns, Green and Burley are adjectives (the latter misspelled, alas), while Drew and Till are, respectively, past-tense and present-tense verbs.

It is the latter category that interests the Hall of Names induction committee right about now. That's right, we'll be constructing a Hall of Names team made up entirely of players whose last/family/surnames double as verbs ... and as always, there are a few rules ...

Sports Illustrated is running an excerpt from a new book that details Barry Bonds' steroid use. This is, in many ways, an old story. Bonds' role in the BALCO saga has been discussed on several occasions over the last two years in the media and in Batter's Box. At least two books about steroids were authored last year by Will Carroll and Howard Bryant. But because Bonds is a star the story never ends. If you want to wade into the debate one more time please do so in this thread.

Canada versus Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids. Feel free to follow along here!

Here's your condensed Royals preview.

The longer version follows.

Kirby Puckett passed away today after suffering a stroke yesterday. We remember Kirby the ballplayer with affection, emerging from nowhere to be a leader of the World Series champion Twin clubs of 1987 and 1991, and always with a smile on his face. Teammmates would rub his head for luck.

2004 was a great honeymoon year for the National’s and their new city. Fans came out in droves to RFK stadium, with attendance averaging close to 35,000 a game. The team was not expected to do much at all, but got off to a good start and then rode a hot streak of one-run wins to first place in June. They weren’t good enough to stay there long, and when the one-run voodoo turned on them in July they gradually slipped back to finish at 81-81. Still much better than had been expected going into the season.

Canada's triumph over the U.S. yesterday left them on a high. Will their confidence lead to a victory over Mexico? Or will tonight find a complacent Canadian team hurt by a Mexican romp?

Join Batter's Box Roster members, including Coach Kent himself, for drinks, food, and camaraderie at Philthy McNasty's (276 King Street in Toronto - the old Peel Pub location) today at 8:00 PM for the inaugural 2006 Blue Jays Beer Club meeting. (The reservation is under the name "Batter's Box.")

Please RSVP in this thread if you're coming!

John Sickels has been posting his 'Top 20' prospect lists for each team over at his website. He finished up the final teams this weekend so I decided it'd be interesting to try to quantify his rankings.

There was an upset in the first competitive WBC game this morning as South Korea beat Japan 3-2 on a 2-run 8th inning homer by Lee Seung-Yeop. Chan Ho Park, who has looked relatively impressive in the tournament, retired Ichiro Suzuki for the final out as he picked up the save. There was a defensive gem as South Korean right fielder Lee Jin-Young made a diving catch with the bases loaded and 2 outs in the fourth. That play kept South Korea in the game.

The 2005 Met team performed about as expected, scoring 722 runs and allowing 648, but posting only 83 wins, despite the solid run differential. Like the Jays, the Mets responded this off-season by upgrading the bullpen, with the acquisition of Billy Wagner the highlight. Wagner’s arrival, along with the fire sale acquisition of Carlos Delgado from the Marlins, have fans of the lesser New Yorkers feeling as optimistic as they can be. Will it be enough to end the Braves’ dynasty?

There is no simpler team in the majors to write a preview of than the San Francisco Giants. If Barry Bonds is healthy, the Giants will compete for the NL West crown. If he is not healthy, they will be under .500, positing to their fans the merits of attending a game in the 59-degree, foggy, windy evenings in the China Basin as opposed to attending a game in the 59-degree, foggy, windy evenings at Candlestick Point.

Well, that was easy! You may now enjoy the rest of the day, exonerated from my pith.

Today's Preview, the Cardinals, is a Pinch Hit. It was submitted by (and in fact, solicited from) frequent poster and notorious Durazo apologist Newton.

St. Louis: No Longer a Full House but Still a Winning Hand

Coming off an impressive 100 win season in 2005, the Cards' roster underwent significant turnover during the offseason. With three new positional regulars, a new member of the starting rotation, and a re-tooled bench and bullpen, can the Cards reach the century mark again in 2006? Let’s take a look, shall we.

Houston couldn’t best the White Sox in the World Series but had an equally amazing run. Can they do it again minus (for now) Roger Clemens?