The town of Barfield has a new Sheriff, and his name is Mighty Midget.

The Blue Jay farm takes 3 and drops 3, with more pitching than hitting.

Faced with the surprising and monumental task of writing three Game Reports in a row this week, I did what anyone would do for the first game -- resort to ripping off one of the greatest poets ever. Because anything that distances myself from yesterday's game is a Good Thing.

Oh, sure. I could study the effects of choking over and over again with the bases loaded, but that's not very much fun after a loss like that. Bah. Granted, trying to find a bunch of rhymes for "table" isn't much better, but it will have to do.

F@&@&%$ Hinske!

Okay, let's get the team name out of the way right now. Do we dub these guys, a roster full of major leaguers whose last or family name starts with the letter "F," in honour of a passable mid-1960s comedy western starring Ken Berry and Forrest Tucker, the "F Troop"? Should we be worried about the inevitable F-U matchup? Well, probably, as we'll just give in and name these guys, inevitably, "The F-Bombs."

It's a surprisingly strong team, with a starting rotation entirely made up of Hall of Famers and a bullpen that any of the other 24 all-letter teams will have a hard time matching; a very Fox(x)y infield -- abetted by a shortstop Canadian baseball fans know well -- and no less than three 50-homer guys in the starting lineup.

It will be hard to F this one up, kids ...

The Jays try to rebound against the visiting Motor City Kitties, who are just 2-8 in their last ten outings. The Jays' depleted rotation caught -- no pun intended -- a major break, though, when Ivan Rodriguez announced that he would drop his appeal and serve his four-game suspension over the entirety of the series at the Rogers Centre.

Detroit is in the middle of the pack in most team categories, and Toronto needs to show an ability to take care of business against a struggling squad at home. The toughest matchup for the home team will be on Thursday afternoon, which looks like the Downs-Walker Connection against the talented (and still only 22) Jeremy Bonderman.

This week's Scout features a struggling lefty, a surprising old friend and a huge collective sigh of relief over the status of a top prospect. And by the way, big thanks to Lucas, Rob and Pepper for filling in while I was on vacation!

On to the Advance Scout!

Batter's Box Tabs Guerrero, P. Martinez as
Greatest Montreal Player, Pitcher

In recent polling, the readers of Batter's Box Interactive Magazine displayed a preference for active players over the historical legends who wore the tri-coloured "M" of Les Expos before their recent move to Washington, D.C. to become the Nationals.

Vladimir Guerrero rocked past Tim Raines to nab "greatest player" while Pedro brushed back Dennis in a battle of Martinezes for the honour of "greatest pitcher."

I can't imagine a world where a baseball player could steal home (off of Randy Johnson!) and not be immediately rewarded with the next photo of the day. So, in honor of Shea Hillenbrand's kick-ass performance on Saturday, here's the man himself:

Once in a while, you get a miracle.
-- Tony LaRussa

Two wins and four losses, but two teams have moved into first place in their divisions. Zach Jackson had his best AAA start, as did Ricky Romero in high A, but Eric Fowler was better. Rob Cosby had a home run among his three hits.

Well, since Mike D's interview with these players gives more information about their character, potential and projectability than 178 plate appearances in a short-season league five steps below Toronto, there's not much I can say about this team that could improve on Mike's excellent work out on Coney Island. You're invited to read along, anyway.

As I write this, Auburn is off the pace of their previous Atlanta Braves-style seasons, as they are only 20-21. However, that is enough to top the Pinckney Division, even though the last place team is only 2.5 games worse. It will be an interesting stretch drive for Auburn -- their season ends September 8th, or about five weeks from now. But for now, let's take a look at how the Doubledays did in June and July. (This review includes the first three Blue Jay picks of the 2005 draft, if you're wondering.)

When the opposing outfielder forgets the count, hangs onto the ball in blissful ignorance for five seconds while his teammates scream at him and still ends up with a double play, you kinda get the feeling it just wasn't meant to be your day.

It has been an unusual year for Dunedin. Prospects have come and gone faster than a Grade 7 romance. Zach Jackson, Dustin McGowan, David Purcey, Casey Janssen, Ryan Roberts, Clint Johnston, Chip Cannon. Thanks for the memories. It was real. Still, the Baby Jays find themselves in early August in a race for the second-half division title, 1/2 game behind first-half champ Lakeland and a game ahead of the hard-charging Fort Myers Miracle.

Towers battled valiantly through 6 innings, but Al Leiter took a day off from being washed up to shut the Jays down for 5-2/3. Torre had to call on Mo for the final out, but the offence once again missed several earlier opportunities to get into it.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.
-- Yogi Berra