Give me a White Sox fan any day... Do you hear them whining endlessly about how God wants them to suffer?
- Luke Appling

Tired of always ending up on the losing end, the farm affiliates won late in the game and late in the evening twice yesterday to finish at 3-3.

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock

It stands to reason that a fair number of Batter's Box readers are at least nominally familiar with the world of online communications -- after all, this is a Web site and you are reading this, ergo, you know a little something about the online world.

I have to admit, I thought it would be pretty simple to put together a Hall of Names team based on this theme, but once you get past the fine young RHSP Brandon Webb with the D-Backs and stretch to include borderline HOF 3B Graig Nettles, the cupboard is pretty bare. We have a Hacker and a Dell, but the guy who opens the door to filling out a complete roster, believe it or not, is former PIT and CIN All-Star LHSP John Smiley ...

It took 11 tries and almost four months, but Dave Bush has his first win of the season. The offense broke up a close game by putting up six runs in the fifth inning. And everybody hit - except the new guy. Aaron Hill, 3-27 in his last seven games, is going through his first slump. Awww...

Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.
- Satchel Paige

One Gabriel was very good last night, while another -- not so much, as the organization lurched to a 2-4 record on the evening. There were three ninth-inning rallies to report as well, only one of which ended well for the Blue Jays side of the ledger.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Laurence J. Peter

That's the Peter Principle - if you're good at something, you'll get promoted. And eventually you'll be doing something you're not good at.

The May 2005 Royal Panes Hall of Names entry bemoaned the fact that top Pirates pitching prospect Zach Duke had not yet reached the majors (nor had Prince Fielder) and thus was not eligible for the squad.

The best young Pirate-developed lefty since John Candelaria has changed all that with a 1.23 ERA and 21:4 K:BB ratio in his first three big league starts this month. (Incidentally, has anyone nicknamed this guy "Duke of Hurl" yet?) And that makes him eligible for today's team -- what, we just finished up All-Willie and All-Mickey teams, and you couldn't see the All-Duke team coming a mile away?

Of course, Zach is only the third player in big league history to bear the surname "Duke," so we'll need a little leeway ...

The Jays try to build on their momentum from a fine series against Seattle as they travel to the Harry S. Truman Sports Complex for a weekend showdown with the Royals. The Royals feature an impatient lineup, but two of their three starting pitchers are coming off dominant performances and there are some lively arms in the 'pen. It should make for some interesting baseball, and Lilly vs. Greinke could be a nice matchup on Sunday.

This will be my last Advance Scout column for a little while, as I head off on vacation. But fear not, Bauxites -- Lucas, Rob and Pepper Moffatt will all contribute pinch-hit Scout reports with their usual aplomb over the next four series. It won't skip a beat.

Today's Scout features a brawlin' (but appealin') righty, a proud papa and a young ace starting to trust his stuff again.

On to the Advance Scout!

Just in time for Ricky Romero's debut, Batter's Box presents its exclusive interviews with the Auburn Doubledays!

Last Saturday was a lovely afternoon in New York, and I went with friend/Jays fan/Bauxite Kevin Janus to KeySpan park on Coney Island in Brooklyn, NY, to meet the D-Days prior to their game with the Brooklyn Cyclones. And not even the subsequent pea-soup fog and Auburn defeat could dampen our enthusiasm for some of the choice quotes we were able to obtain.

We enjoyed meeting the D-Days. We think you will, too.

According to this press release, the Toronto Blue Jays have traded The Minister of Defense, John McDonald, to the Detroit Tigers for a player to be named later.

Most one run games are lost, not won.
- Gene Mauch

The Toronto Blue Jays have a 5-14 record in one-run games.

A pair of photographs for you today. First up, the guys in 518 making a big impression:

And if California slides into the ocean
Like the mystics and statistics say it will
I predict this motel will be standing
Until I pay my bill