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Why does the baseball have the best all-star game?
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Now I'm sitting here,
Sipping at my ice cold beer,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
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Bring on the brand new Renaissance
Cause I think I'm ready
I've been shaking all night long
But my hands are steady
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Who keeps on loving you when you’ve been lying
Saying things ain’t what they seem
God does but I don’t
God will but I won’t
And that’s the difference between God and me
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This old porch is like a steaming greasy
plate of enchiladas
with lots of cheese and onions
and a guacamole salad
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Augustine knew temptation
He loved women, wine and song
And all the special pleasures
Of doing something wrong
I said yeah
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Dime si de veras crees que se pueden
Desviar a los planetas
De una trayectoria de colisión.
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A new headline-writing contest -- with a twist on the last one, introduced by Mike D.

Same "back page New York tabloid" rules -- if even the New York Post wouldn't run it, don't enter it here. But the twist: this is a headline that could or might appear after next week's All-Star Game. Some samples to get you started ...

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Find me and follow me
Through corridors, refectories and files
You must follow
Leave this academic factory
You will find me in the matinee
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At noontime on Saturday a small crowd of baseball enthusiasts gathered in the theatre of the SkyDome for a book talk by Alan Schwarz. The crowd was diverse, ranging from SABR members to a man with his two young children to a Blue Jays employee who is also attending the 34th Society for American Baseball Research (SABR) convention. Schwarz’s book talk was sponsored by the Learning Annex and centered on his acclaimed book The Numbers Game. Schwarz also writes a weekly column for www.espn.com, a biweekly article for The New York Times and is a senior writer for Baseball America. The Numbers Game was his first book and received much acclaim, as it was named the best baseball book in 2004 and nominated for the 2004 Dave Moore Award, handed out by SABR to the “most important book on baseball” published in that year. It has recently been released in paperback.
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Now the rooms are all empty down at Frankie's joint
And the highway she's deserted down to Breaker's Point
There's a lot of people leaving town now
Leaving their friends, their homes
At night they walk that dark and dusty highway all alone
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Welcome to a new kind of tension
All across the idiot nation
Everything isn't meant to be OK
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Floating in the river with a saturated liver
And I wish I could forgive her but I do believe she meant it
When she told me to forget it
But I bet she will regret it
When they find me in the morning wet and drowned
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I lift my glass to the Awful Truth
Which you can't reveal to the ears of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a damn
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Welcome to yet another month-end report card for the Blue Jays, in which I presume to grade players from A+ to F. All grades are strictly non-scientific.

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