It's not the sports pages, but the headlines of many North American newspapers these day contain the name "Ike," a reference to the latest hurricane headed out of the Gulf Coast.

Out of deference to the many afflicted -- most of whom are here in Texas where I live -- men like Bob "Hurricane" Hazle and Clint "The Hondo Hurricane" Hartung will not be considered in this article.

There hasn't been an "Ike" active in the major leagues since 1979, but that won't stop us from seeing if we can't throw together (see, there, I didn't write "whip up") a Hall of Names team, Ike-style ...

Recently, we've run a couple of computer-pun-centric Hall of Names all-initials teams featuring major leagu monikers with the initials MB and GB. The next obvious stop, of course, is "KB," which seems might be, to gratuitously reference computer parlance, a "bit" lesser of a squad. Let's find out as we meet ...

Last week, when we ran a computer-pun-centric "All-MB" Hall of Names all-initials team, veteran Bauxite Rob Pettapiece posted the leading statement, "I don't think the All-GB team is 1024 times better, though." The further question, of course, is whether an All-KB team would be demonstrably lesser than their MB brethren.

We know that such teams will give us the Brett boys, George to the former and Ken to the latter, so that's a nice start, but let's see how "driven" these teams are as we meet, first ...

The other day, for no particular reason, I noticed that two-thirds of the Texas Rangers starting outfield consisted of All-Star starter (admittedly at DH) Milton Bradley and fine utilityman Marlon Byrd, That got me to thinking, Hall-of-Names style, about the "megabytes" (yes, that's abbreviated "MB") of talent in big league history. Current hurler Mark Buehrle, of course, and recent All-Star shortstops Mark Belanger and Mike Bordick came to mind, and then, uh ...

Um ...

... from Baseball's Hall of Names!

Way back in 2005, Original Bauxite Rob Pettapiece, uh petta-pieced together an All Canada Day Hall of Names team, based on the names of the delegates at the Québec Conference of October 1864.

We've not done much for Canada Day since then, but now three years later, let's see what kind of squad we can build of players who were actually born on Canada Day, known here in Tejas as "Uh, it's just July 1st, dude."

There have actually been ...

As June turns into July, the pennant "races" heat up and we start hearing lots about how certain players are "on pace" to reach certain milestones or season totals.

With that (admittedly flimsy!) groundwork laid, let's examine the possibility of building a Hall of Names rosters consisting entirely of motion (race, pace, etc.) verbs -- of all speeds. Let's "move" on and meet a team that plays in Florida, just so we can name it with a football pun ...

Whether you like him or not, it's hard to argue that the very best baseball player active right now is playing third base for the New York Yankees -- Alex Rodriguez. Okay, you can argue it, but he's definitely Top-3.

And while "Alex" isn't one of the most common male first names in the Americas, the fact is that A-Rod is one of only five men in big league history with that first name to make an All-Star team (yes, another of those is currently roaming the TOR outfield); and in fact, though A-Rod will surely change the equation someday, not a single Alex has yet been inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.

Wait, that's not quite accurate; as we build an All-Alex Hall of Names team here on Da Box, we need to differentiate ...

Have you heard about the rookie utilityman playing with the Padres? (No, that's not a leading question.) His name is -- and this is wonderful -- Callix Crabbe. There's no doubt that such a fabulously-monikered player would eventually make one or more  Hall of Names team(s), though he's only the fifth player to make the bigs with "Crab" in his surname, so there probably isn't enough for an All-Shellfish team. (But that's good -- who wants to deal with shellfish players? Har!)

All that said, young Callix Sadeaq Crabbe -- and he's the only player in the game's history with either of those given names! -- is also just the eleventh MLB player ever to have been born in the U.S. Virgin Islands. And miraculously, with only a tiny bit of juggling, those players actually fill out, not a full roster of course, but at least a regular lineup card.

The first ...

I'm not sure how to prove this or even look it up, but the Jays may have come close to a historical MLB first the other day when Jesse Litsch shut down the A's, 12-0. One of the two Jay relievers to clean up after Litsch's 7 innings was none other than Jesse Carlson, who threw a shutout eighth inning. If Carlson had actually finished the game (okay, and if it had been nine runs closer), it might have been the first game in baseball history where one Jesse started and notched the win while another Jesse relieved and gained the save.

There have actually been ...

Watching the Red Sox on TV the other day, I realized that the Hall of Names archive, now with more than 300 entries, doesn't actually have an All-Ramirez squad. Just among active players, that will include arguably the best RBI guy in the big leagues (Manny), one of the best young middle infielders (Hanley) and an All-Star at the hot corner (Aramis). This should be a hell of a ballclub, right?

Um, actually, not so much ...

Not sure if you noticed, but this week, His Aruban Largeness Sidney Ponson reappeared in the big leagues, throwing eight excellent innings in a win (actually his second start) for the Rangers over the Royals.

There have been 26 men to have played in the major leagues to this point with the given first or middle name "Sidney," and though Ponson may well be the biggest, that doesn't mean he's the best. Actually, if you search BaseballReference.com, you'll find ...

Today is Tax Day in the United States, that annual 'holiday" which "permits" U.S. citizens (like me) to send some inordinantly huge percentage of our income to the U.S. government's Internal Revenue Service.

It'd be easy to throw together an all-financial Hall of Names team -- hey, actually, we already did that, back in April of 2004, and names like Cash, Money, Bonds, Penny and Banks filled that roster.

But today is all about taxes, the anti-Money (sorry, Don) ... so can we build a Hall of Names roster on this premise? Well, we certainly have a team captain in ...

In 2028, when Josh Hamilton is reminiscing about his four AL MVPs during his Hall of Fame induction speech (okay, work with me here ...) someone will pronounce that he is the greatest ballplayer who ever lived named "Josh" -- and if you're only looking at Major League Baseball, that may well be correct.

With apologies to Hamilton and to fellow class of '28 HOF inductee Josh Beckett (like I said, work with me here) -- unless one of the two dozen or so men named Josh currently in the minor leagues really explodes onto the scene, the greatest ballplayer named "Josh" who ever lived never played in the major leagues. That, of course ...

Do you realize that the Dodgers have played more seasons in Dodger Stadium than they played in Ebbets Field?

When you walk through the garden
Got to watch your back

The last episode of The Wire is being broadcast tomorrow night. It's been called "the best show on television" - not merely the best show now, but the best show of the last twenty years, if not ever - and that's pretty much how I feel about it.