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Okay, so I had something ready to post today, a nice little non-Jays-related puff piece -- I rarely write anything "in-depth" that requires "research" or "hard work" -- only to find that today also marked the posting of the two most engaging articles in BB's brief history: JMG's cruel march through spring training and Gideon's management seminar.

So I punted my puff piece until later, but still wanted to add some postmodern theory to the ranking of Ye Olde Toronto Managers Guild. And regular readers of this blog may recall that I believe everything about a person is contained in their "personal anagram." So without further ado (and before we bid adieu), read on for evidence of Jimy Williams' self-deprecation, Buck Martinez' overreliance on Jose Jr. and a truly prescient give-peace-a-chance statement by Tim Johnson.

If you don't know how personal anagrams work, or what an anagram is, well, I'm lazy so go read about it yourself in I, Rearrangement Servant (which, to the trained eye, is obviously an anagram for "Internet Anagram Server").

The rules for a personal anagram are simple: start with the letters in your full name as you use it every day and rearrange them to reveal your true personality. If nothing works very well, cheat. Add in your middle name, use your full first name, add your middle initial or full middle name ... any combination until you find something you like. Er, until the Great Truth is Revealed. Add punctuation wherever it is needed. For instance, I ("Michael Doherty") anagramatically, convert to "Hey! I'm a Tech Lord!"

Now, to the ranking of our Jays managers based on how cool their personal anagrams are.

1. Timothy Evan Johnson
Shh ... Not Vietnam? No joy!
Comments: Really, do we need comments here?

2. Buck Martinez
Cruz? Bank time!
Comments: Maybe if Little Jose had lived up to the hype, Buck would still be in the dugout.

3. Jimy Williams
I'm ... I'm Jay swill.
Comments: Bonus points for being the only manager in team history with the letters "Jay" to work with in the anagram. But a little self-defeating and negative, don't you think?

4. Bobby Cox
Boxy Cobb
Comments: The easiest anagram in the bunch. Perhaps it refers to the man's build when compared to former Tiger great Ty Cobb? Bobby was certainly a better manager than Tyrus.

5. Roy T. Hartsfield
Fry that "soldier"!
Comments: Roy apparently still bitter about the damage Tim Johnson did to the reputation of Jays managers throughout history.

6T. Cito Gaston
So, it can't go?
6T. Jim Fregosi
Jog; misfire.
6T. Bobby Mattick
Tick by a bomb.
Comments: I have no earthly idea, but these seem meaningful. Uh, don't they?


Re-Ranking the Blue Jays Managers: Anagramatically Speaking | 15 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
_Jordan - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 01:38 PM EST (#33555) #
Mick, if we had Primeys here, that would be the instant leading candidate! Brilliant stuff, very nicely done! I love Jimy Williams' anagram -- I can almost see him sitting downcast in a support group in a church basement somewhere.
Dave Till - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 02:00 PM EST (#33556) #
This is massively cool!

If you use Cito Gaston's given name of Clarence, you get:

A TRANCE CLOGS NE

which pretty much sums up Cito's last year or two in charge.
_Spicol - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 02:49 PM EST (#33557) #
Not a former manager, but one of the Jays' players is a very fitting and descriptive: Allo, sacred god!

A big shiny prize of my respect for the first poster to guess who it is.
_Jim - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 02:52 PM EST (#33558) #
http://www.torontobaseballguys.com
'Tis Carlos Delgado - who gets paid like a god
_Matthew Elmslie - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 04:57 PM EST (#33559) #
You're all missing the boat on Cito.

CITO GASTON = T.O. COASTING
_Mick - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 05:21 PM EST (#33560) #
Oh, I like that on Gaston. But what do you assume T.O. stands for? "Time Out"? Maybe we could make it "Coasting to ... ? (with the question mark being the key signifier.)

Love the Delgado challenge. Reverse acronyms. Holy cow, a whole new world.

How about this one, oh fellow bloggers?
Links: Male Wit
_Matthew Elmslie - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 05:29 PM EST (#33561) #
Mick: T.O. is the standard local abbreviation for Toronto. I trust its relevance in this context will not be lost on you.
_Kent Williams - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 05:39 PM EST (#33562) #
Too easy, Mick. I prefer this one:

Knew slim tail
Coach - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 06:04 PM EST (#33563) #
Getting back to the theme, such as it is...
Scoot, rascal!

And if it may be applied to mere coaches,
Bite friend? Brutal.
_rodent - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 06:27 PM EST (#33564) #
What would a BB "primey" be called? Could it be awarded on the evening of opening day?
_Jenny Arm Nog - Friday, March 07 2003 @ 07:22 PM EST (#33565) #
It's not a baseball one and I didn't make it up, but it's too perfect to leave out of this discussion.

Tie Domi = Me idiot!

I believe the credit goes to Jim Proudfoot, formerly of the Toronto Star.
_Mugs - Saturday, March 08 2003 @ 03:55 AM EST (#33566) #
http://www.allbaseball.blogspot.com
Bite friend? Brutal is Brian Butterfield no? And if we can thank him for a reversal of Eric Hinske's heroic error rate, does the word "mere" apply?

As this is my inaugural post, here's my favorite former Blue Jay anagram:

C.O.D.-Lady Madonna.
_Spicol - Saturday, March 08 2003 @ 09:05 AM EST (#33567) #
That's the Candy Man...not sure what that reveals about him though.
_Mick - Saturday, March 08 2003 @ 01:41 PM EST (#33568) #
What would a BB "primey" be called? Could it be awarded on the evening of opening day?

Clearly, it would be called either a "Coachy" or if Kent continues his recent run of modesty, a "Batty" or a "Boxy."

Given the original post that started this thread leading to the idea of a "Boxy" included an anagram for "Bobby Cox" that was "boxy Cobb," there are too many graphics possibilities for this award to even think about right now.

I tried to do a personal anagram for Frank Catalanotto but my brain exploded.
_Spicol - Saturday, March 08 2003 @ 01:56 PM EST (#33569) #
'Fatal cartoon tank' describes his defense.

Non-fat oral attack?
Re-Ranking the Blue Jays Managers: Anagramatically Speaking | 15 comments | Create New Account
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