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Texas Ranger relief pitcher "Generalissimo" Frankie Francisco is still suspended.

As you offer discussion points and "Make Your Own Roundup" links throughout this Saturday and Sunday, please make an effort to "cast" a current big leaguer in a Saturday Night Live role as appropriate. This can be due to his name, the way he looks ... whatever. And would someone please explain the headline and the first sentence of this post to our younger Bauxites?

Weekend Update: Our Top Story Today ... | 42 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
_Mick - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 08:59 AM EST (#3717) #
Off the top of my head ... there's Zack "Buck" Wheat (O-tay! .. and yes, that was really HOF Zack's nickname) and Roy "Stuart" Smalley (Senior and Junior!), who was good enough and smart enough and gosh darn it, people liked them as shortstops.

Eddie "Dale" Murphy is too easy, though they're clearly not separated at birth; and we understand that Josh "Leon" Phelps was a real Ladies' Man, though he needed prompting from Brian "Tim" Meadows.

What else?
_Mick - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 09:36 AM EST (#3718) #
In baseball news, Erubiel Durazo and Nick Johnson, who have been Bauxite Objects of Affection for some people, have re-signed with Oakland and Washington, respectively. (Source: Lee Sinins, BBRRS=holiday fruitcake -- that's a good rating!)
_Ball Guy - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 10:25 AM EST (#3719) #
One of my all-time faves would have to be Jerry "Fred" Garvin.
Now Fred was a middle-aged male prostitute....not sure what Jerry is up to but I guess it's an option he could always fall back on.
_Wildrose - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 12:34 PM EST (#3720) #
Here's the list of players going to arbitration. See any potential players whose contracts might be too rich for their exsisting teams? (comm)
_Tyler - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 12:45 PM EST (#3721) #
No link for this, but I heard a rumour from someone reliable who tells me that Reed Johnson is going from 37 to 3. Anyone have any idea why?
_Moffatt - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 01:03 PM EST (#3722) #
Budget cutbacks. The Jays didn't have the money to order more 7s. :)
_Jordan - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 01:12 PM EST (#3723) #
Wow, no one's jumped on this one yet? I feel older every day.

Chevy Chase -- you might know him as an old guy who shows up on TBS over the holidays in some National Lampoon Fill-In-Your-Holiday-Here Vacation movie or other. Possibly, you once rented one or two movies on VHS about an investigative reporter named Fletch. Well, back in the day, in the mid-'70s, Chevy Chase was funny. He was the first major SNL superstar (with apologies to Aykroyd and Belushi, and even Bill Murray), had loads of charisma, had the best deadpan delivery going, and did tremendous impressions of people who used to be famous, like Gerald Ford.

So anyway, Chevy Chase was actually a comedy trailblazer, because he was the first "host" of SNL's "Weekend Update," which was the first(IIRC) North American faux-newscast sketch and was one of the show's first real audience hits. That format has now been done to death by everyone, from increasingly unfunny SNL actors to This Hour Has 22 Minutes (will you guys retire already? You're almost as old as the Air Farce) to, in its highest evolutionary form, The Daily Show.

So anyway...Franco, as you may know, ruled Spain with an iron first since 1939, but by the mid-'70s, he was clearly on his last legs. His final illness went on so long that numerous premature reports of his death were circulated, only to be later revealed as not yet true. Chase turned this into a running joke ("This just in -- Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!") up to and after Franco's actual death on November 20, 1975. (cf. Monty Python and The Holy Grail, two uses of the phrase "I'm not dead yet!").

Oh yeah, the QOTD: Joe Piscopo = Joe Pepitone.
_Mick - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 01:42 PM EST (#3724) #
I can see Pepitone in the Piscopo sports anchor role from SNL/WE ...


Great detailed description, Jordan. I was becoming concerned that I was the only one who remembered that line. But then, "Batter's Box been berry, berry good to me." (cf. Garrett Anderson Morris)
_Not H-Rod - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 01:50 PM EST (#3725) #
A Theoretical Question in Case Anyone is Interested:
With the new steroid testing policy, does anyone think baseball will make a return to the older ways? More stolen bases, guys who can't hit a lick but are starters because of their glove (bring back Jose Uribe!), more bunting, more single-tool players (Steve Balboni-type guys who hit simply homers, but have lots of strikeouts)?
Also - if so, does anyone think sabermetrics may have to be refined to define players?
_Ryan B. - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 02:33 PM EST (#3726) #
H-Rod, I don't see that happening. MLB is so in love with the long ball that if HR numbers start to slip a lot they will minipulate the drug testing so that the numbers go back up. We will continue to see long balls and players will continue to use steroids. I don't think steroids are a big deal in the first place, but that's a different story for a different time.
_Matthew E - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 03:11 PM EST (#3727) #
COMN and scroll down to the sports part for a Jays signing. Did we already know about this? Is this new news?
_Moffatt - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 03:25 PM EST (#3728) #
Carmen electra is in Toronto signing copies of Aerobic Striptease? Wow!

Oh.. you mean the thing about Ted Lilly.

This is the first I've heard of it. If we get confirmation anywhere, I'll start a new thread.
_Michael - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 03:28 PM EST (#3729) #
Plus the cheaters are always two steps ahead of the detection, at least where the cheaters have access to money. That's why it is so rare to see a US Olympic athlete test positive for steroids or banned substances. And the money in the Olympics is nothing compared to the money in baseball. So think of the steroid policy as protecting against the problem of fans worrying about performance enhancing rather then against actual performance enhancing.
_Nolan - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 03:43 PM EST (#3730) #
Wes "Will" Ferrell always seemed like a HoFer to me both on screen and on the field.

With his combination of wit and deadpan, Joe "Tracy" Morgan became a vital member of a stellar comedic team [Actually, Tracy's "Brian Fellows" character is somewhat reminiscint of Morgan's broadcasting...].
_JayFan0912 - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 03:51 PM EST (#3731) #
Can the rich contracts this offseason increase the amount players ask and get in arbitration ?

The marlins, cubs, twins, astros, and reds could pay a huge chunk of change to retains their players if this is true. From all these players, I hope the jays make an effort to get berkman. He could be getting 10 Million in arbitration, and I doubt the astros could/would be willing to pay that. IMO, their chance at postseason glory just signed with the mets, and they may be willing to "clean house".

But honestly, I doubt the jays will get anyone. This team is concerned mostly about the bottom line lately, and the only thing that can change that is another season from hell.
_Four Seamer - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 05:30 PM EST (#3732) #
I post this story with great reluctance this story from TSN. I'd hate to spark a reprise of last summer's clash, which culminated in a particularly mind-boggling debate over whether "God Bless America" is a more patriotic song than "The Star Spangled Banner", but apparently Delgado is willing to put the controversy behind him and stand during the playing of "God Bless America".

Maybe he will sign with the Yankees after all! If the Jays can have three third basemen, I guess there's no reason why they can't have three first basemen.
_Hosken_Powell_F - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 08:32 PM EST (#3733) #
Nice to see how firmly Delgado stands by his convictions... unless, of course, there is money involved.
_Ryan C - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 08:43 PM EST (#3734) #
I miss when SNL was good :(

Whenever anyone mentions "Our top story tonight" I cant help but remember Garret Morris' weekend update for the hearing impaired sketch.

Oh yeah and Im sure that some baseball player is routinely compared to Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer (who was hilarious BTW), so he needs to be mentioned just for completeness sake.
_miVulgar - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 08:46 PM EST (#3735) #
Richard Griffin now writes about the Raptors (COMN).

Pardon me while I gouge my eyes out.
_Cristian - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 09:00 PM EST (#3736) #
Nice to see how firmly Delgado stands by his convictions... unless, of course, there is money involved.

The U.S. has now stopped the military testing that went on in Vieques. Which of course, is what Delgado's silent protest was about. So there is no need for his protest to continue unless Carlos wants to protest how slowly the US military is cleaning the site.
_JackFoley - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 09:59 PM EST (#3737) #
Military testing stopped in Vieques May 2003. The cynic in me agrees with Hosken Powell Fan, not that a sports figure with a nose for money is particularly groundbreaking to begin with.
_Mick - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 10:18 PM EST (#3738) #
The Yankees have three first basemen? Who?
Giambi, if he plays, Tino Martinez and ... ?
_6-4-3 - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 10:40 PM EST (#3739) #
The original phrase was, if the Jays can have three third baseman (Hinke, Hillenbrand, Koskie), the Yankees can have three third basemen (Giambi, Tino, and Delgado). Of course, if they didn't want to bid on Beltran, I'd think that they'd have no real interest in Delgado.
_Mick - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 11:00 PM EST (#3740) #
Ah, I see. I think Delgado is clearly going to one of three teams and the Yankees ain't one ... Mets, Rangers, Marlins, in that order of probability.
_Hosken_Powell_F - Saturday, January 15 2005 @ 11:15 PM EST (#3741) #
The reason Delgado's own agent gave for his "protests" was his "displeasure with the politicalization of baseball" and he said that his new teams policy would be the reason he would stop.

If the reason he stopped protesting was because the U.S. was no longer testing at Vieques, it would have made sense for his own agent to say so in his statement.

Did Carlos stop the protests last year when the U.S. was no longer testing in his homeland?

It doesn't take a genious to figure out why the protests will stop.
Thomas - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 01:44 AM EST (#3742) #
The protests will stop only if his team requests that they stop. He never said that they would stop otherwise. So the conclusion that this is motivated by money alone is premature at best. Furthermore, even if you want to scold Delgado for refusing to break his new team's policy, doesn't the fact he demonstrated against actions that he felt were wrong give him more credence then the other baseball players who felt the same way (and there must be some) but didn't speak up at all out of fear of the backlash they might be subject to?
_Scott - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 08:58 AM EST (#3743) #
A couple of Jays notes that I have not seen mentioned here but are interesting (sorry if they have been and I missed it).
--TSN is in negotiation with the Blue Jays to air games early in the year to make up for lost NHL playoff games.
--a TV deal with Sportsnet/TSN should be announced at the end of the month (CBC not interested)
--the latest on the Skydome renovations can be found on the Blue Jays website
--the Argos will be staying at the Dome for an extra year before the York stadium is built (a little extra revnue for the ball club)
--the Jays, Raptors and Leafs are in the middle of a tax fight with the Province that could save the teams $10M. COMN
--the Brewers were sold for $230M suggesting Rogers has probably made a nice little return on his investment
--and, the first sign that spring is not far way--the spring training ticker on the Blue Jays website is up and running (34 days, 3 hours, 6 minutes and 50 seconds till pitchers and catchers report).
_Ball Guy - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 09:36 AM EST (#3744) #
Terry Adams Sandler...just to mention Opera Man.
Charles Rocket Roger Clemens. Charles Rocket was brought in in the early 80's to be the BIG STAR but things went downhill fast after he said f*#@ on a live broadcast but by then Eddie Murphy was taking over.
_Vernons Biggest - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 11:12 AM EST (#3745) #
the Argos will be staying at the Dome for an extra year before the York stadium is built

I know they were staying at SkyDome for 2006, what were the reasons why they're staying for 2007?
_GregH - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 12:10 PM EST (#3746) #
Off topic...

I took my sons to meet Ernie Whitt at Square One in Mississauga on December 1st. He is a very pleasant man and chatted with the boys for quite a while about their baseball in Bolton and the Jays.

COMN for pictures (In case this doesn't work, It's on the Jays' website - Fan Forum, Player Appearances) Click on "Enjoy a photo gallery" at the bottom of "Ernie Whitt Appearance". My boys are in picture # 9.
_Moffatt - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 01:27 PM EST (#3747) #
That's really cool, Greg! It looks like your boys had a great time!

Stuff like that kids will always rememeber. I'll never forget when my Dad took me to meet Darryl Sittler when I was about your boys age.
_GeoffAtMac - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 01:37 PM EST (#3748) #
about their baseball in Bolton and the Jays

Bolton! Very cool -- this is my hometown, if we are speaking of Bolton, ON. I got to meet Jimmy Key in 1992 when he came to Fines Ford to sign autographs, back when I was a young lad of 10 years of age.

Glad to see there are still kids playing baseball in Bolton. From my recollection, it seems that the popularity of playing in town goes downhill exponentially as you reach the age of twelve or thirteen. Hopefully with the NHL strike such trends are reversed this summer...
_GeoffAtMac - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 01:39 PM EST (#3749) #
I should have added, that I saw Jimmy Key in Fines Ford in Bolton. One time Kelly Gruber came to our town library, but I never got to see him...oh well, meeting Jimmy Key was pretty cool. He was a very nice guy, and signed autographs for tons and tons of people.
_GregH - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 07:17 PM EST (#3750) #
Bolton! Very cool -- this is my hometown, if we are speaking of Bolton, ON.

GeoffAtMac: Baseball is still alive and well in Bolton. COMN for a picture of pitcher training at the Blue Jays Clinic last summer (my then 9 year old son Simon is second from the left).

In 2003, Simon's Senior Rookie team went 32-7 and won the Ontario Baseball Association "B" Championship.

In 2004, the Midget and Minor Bantam teams were OBA finalists and Simon's Minor Mosquito team missed the finals by 1 run in a game that went two extra innings against the eventual champions.

No Blue Jays have made appearances in Bolton since we moved here (4 years ago) but maybe they will this year - GM dealers do it now.

I gather you're in University (at Mac?) but if you're in Bolton in the summer, drop by the North Hill Diamonds - most Monday nights you can see some pretty good kid's ball.
_Tyler - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 10:26 PM EST (#3751) #
Sportsnet is reporting that Delgado is weighing a 3/35 offer from the Marlines, and a 4/40 offer from the Mets.
_sweat - Sunday, January 16 2005 @ 11:17 PM EST (#3752) #
When i played for the kingston junior rep team i played against bolton one year, some good players, and while that team was comparable to ours, whitby and ajax were a step above.
_Stan - Monday, January 17 2005 @ 12:04 AM EST (#3753) #
Although he was a broadcaster and not a player, I always liked Will Ferrell's impression of Harry Caray
_actionjackson - Monday, January 17 2005 @ 01:29 AM EST (#3754) #
My bet is 'Moneybags' Delgado chooses the Marlins (more $ per season). Of course, if he chooses the Mets or Orioles, we'll know he was 'bending the truth' about wanting to play for a contender. If you're against the war in Iraq, stick to it, don't fold just because there's money involved. He knows what's at stake financially and he's done a wimpy about-face. Oh well, if you want to stay at the party, you've got to tow the party line. Sad but true...
_Tyler - Monday, January 17 2005 @ 02:12 AM EST (#3755) #
Of course, if he chooses the Mets or Orioles, we'll know he was 'bending the truth' about wanting to play for a contender. If you're against the war in Iraq, stick to it, don't fold just because there's money involved.

I think he can make an argument, at least if he chooses the Mets, that he's going to a contender. The NL East is a pretty weak decision, the Mets have a good rotation, and have added some solid players this winter as well. As for the whole Iraq thing, I must have missed the part where he enlisted in the Army, because I don't see what playing in America, or being willing to stand for GFA if it's club policy that players do so.
_Jordan - Monday, January 17 2005 @ 10:19 AM EST (#3756) #
One of the reasons Delgado declined to stand for the 7th-inning playing of GBA was because the Jays (wisely) had no official team policy regarding whether players were required to stand for that event. Delgado, IIRC, always maintained that if the Jays had adopted a policy asking him to stand, he would've done so. In the absence of said policy, he did what he felt like doing, and more power to him.

And if Delgado really was all about the money, there's no way he would've hurt his free-agent value in his walk year by potentially offending numerous would-be employers (particularly considering the poor season he had). Delgado has drawn heavy interest from the Rangers; you think most Ranger fans take the GBA thing a little seriously down there? And then there's the Mets and Yankees, two teams said to have anywhere from mild to heavy interest in him. Unless Delgado always intended to sign with the Giants, he knew that his political actions could have an effect on the salary his eventual new employer would pay him. That has to count for something.

Really, you could argue that Delgado has already paid the price for his actions. Four years, $40M from the Mets? 3/$35M from the Marlins? Keep in mind that Troy Glaus got $45M over 4 years from the D-Backs and Richie Freakin' Sexson got $50M over 4 years from Seattle. Anyone who signs Delgado for less than those contracts is getting an amazing bargain, and it's quite possible his protest has played a part in that.
_actionjackson - Monday, January 17 2005 @ 03:12 PM EST (#3757) #
Ok, it was some sour grapes on my part. But, Vierques still lies in ruins as their cancer rates soar due to the depleted uranium everywhere. Maybe he feels if he changes his stance and drives up his price a bit, he can help out that way and hopefully he'll continue to speak out about it. It was just kind of nice to see one of ours going against the political grain that is eschewed by MLB. Too often, we hear from the Schillings of the sports world. There's nothing wrong with Schilling saying what he believes in, I just like hearing from the other side on the rare occasions that we get to. Steve Nash's t-shirt at the '01-'02 All-Star game is another example. That was even more gutsy because it was in Texas shortly after 9/11.

The point about Glaus, Sexson and I would add Adrian (1 year wonder?) Beltre is well taken. Perhaps if he had signed earlier when everyone still had bags o' money, he might have got more. It makes sense that as more teams tap out their budget money in the early spending frenzies, that those that are left should become bargains, with fewer teams pursuing them. I wonder when the Mariners will begin to regret the Sexson, Beltre signings. I think when Sexson gets hurt in April or May and Beltre starts out slow as usual they'll wonder what came over them.
_Four Seamer - Monday, January 17 2005 @ 03:25 PM EST (#3758) #
There's nothing wrong with Schilling saying what he believes in, I just like hearing from the other side on the rare occasions that we get to.

So true. In this brave new world of dictatorship, where civil liberties are a relic of the past, one never hears dissenting voices from the celebrity culture, such as the Dixie Chicks, Alec Baldwin, Bruce Springsteen, Barbra Streisand, Michael Moore, Brad Pitt, Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg, John Mellencamp, Willie Nelson, Cameron Diaz, Madonna, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, or any of that crowd ;)

All I mean to say, actionjackson, is be careful what you wish for. Let major leaguers be major leaguers. Leave the political punditry to people with no other discernible skills.
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